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AnonymousWoman's avatar

What helps you know what you want?

Asked by AnonymousWoman (6505points) December 18th, 2011

There are times when I think I know what I want, but change my mind later. It’s really frustrating. Do you ever get like this? What do you do about it when you do? If you have a problem with changing your mind too often, is there anything that helps you stop doing that? If so, what?

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12 Answers

prasad's avatar

I often waver too. You (and me too, and alike) have to make up your mind, and decide. You may follow these steps.
1. Write or think about what all you have got to do.
2. Assign the priorities. Think which things you can put off without any loss, which ones need immediate attention, and so on. Order tasks based on priority. Sometimes (or many times) you will have to go against your mind, but it will add to your strength of mind.
3. Don’t mind if you are not able to follow what you decided first. But check if you have completed all the things, or at least made some progress. Keep on doing it.

Something more to read : When the mind wavers.
You may even read a daily pravachan or daily teachings here : Today’s one. Do not get confused by other languages there on the site, it is available in three languages.

marinelife's avatar

Why do you consider it necessarily bad when you change your mind? Perhaps you get new information (like you try something out and find that it’s not for you).

Or are your decision changes influenced by others? If the latter is the case, you can as @prasad said make a decision grid. List the reasons that you made the original decision and then list why you changed your mind. Look them over and see which is the right decision.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My gut, I listen to it.

MagsRags's avatar

If I’ve pondered, weighed both sides, slept on it and still am on the fence, sometimes it helps if I flip a coin. Depending on whether I feel good or bad about the way the coin lands, I know what my deepest heart (or gut) was whispering. Then I can either follow or ignore the coin toss result.

HungryGuy's avatar

“Only a fool never changes his mind.” – Old Chinese proverb that I just made up.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Thank you, everyone, for the advice. I appreciate it.

@marinelife My opinion changes are often influenced by others, especially one other. I don’t think it’s healthy for my opinions to change just because I want to please one person. It does not seem right. I view that as allowing him to have too much control over me, even though I shouldn’t and I doubt that’s his intention anyway, seeing as he likes being challenged.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m a list writer and brainstormer. It works for me, especially on a computer where I can reorder things as they change. I’ll make 12 month plans, 2yr plans, monthly plans and go from there.

Bellatrix's avatar

Well if you are changing your opinions or plans to suit someone else, no, that isn’t right. If you change your mind/plans after careful reflection of all the information and ideas around you, including the ideas presented by your friend, that is a good thing. Perhaps you need to keep a journal and do some real thinking about when and why you change your mind on important topics. I don’t mean superficial ‘stuff’.

If I make a decision that something is right for me, I have usually already gone through a lot of consideration. Even if I made the decision quickly, I will have weighed up the pros and cons and then, if appropriate, done what @Simone_De_Beauvoir suggested, and used my gut feelings. If someone tries to change my mind, part of any reasoning process before I did vary my opinion or plans would be an appraisal of why they want me to do that. What are their motivations.

YARNLADY's avatar

I was just thinking about that. New information or new choices for self direction will often lead us to change our minds. It is all part of the learning process, and arises from life experiences.

When a person makes up their mind and then changes it with no analysis of the circumstances, they are usually inexperienced. It can also be a sign of low self-esteem.

MilkyWay's avatar

All the time. But I focus on my aim. What it is that I want most. My goal. And then I kinda get motivated to do whatever it is I have to do in order to get to where I want to go.

Paradox25's avatar

Actually trying out what I think I may be interested in helps alot. It is normal to have different things interest you. I could never be confined to just liking one thing or having just one goal.

prasad's avatar

@AnonymousGirl I think you might find it difficult to say NO to others.
Well, I find it difficult when someone is insisting on me, say to go with him, when I want to go somewhere else. It is really hard to deny on their face; but I wonder also how some people can negate very indifferently.

@Fluther experts…need some help from you here now!

@AnonymousGirl Can you give an example (or many) of when you vacillate?

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