General Question

chelle21689's avatar

Is this because my bf's "member" is on the smaller side? NSFW?

Asked by chelle21689 (7648points) December 19th, 2011

I’ve had an ex for 5 years that was over 7 inches, he was really big so that’s what I was used to. Anyways, my new boyfriend is about 5.5 inches and I feel like he doesn’t fill me up as much. It’s funny because his finger satisfies me so much more than his penis and his finger is tiny and skinny than it! Could it just be that he doesn’t know how to hit the right spot?

What’s weird also is that I have learned that different positions feel better depending on the person. Online articles are bogus when they say doggy feels better with a smaller one…it doesn’t I feel like missionary is best.

Also when I try to go on top it doesn’t feel good for me at all, I feel less. I can’t go up high as much, I never had that issue before.

Also, it’s funny cuz he told me that I feel tighter than his ex. Must be because I do kegels. He’s not experienced though, I’m his second partner and before me he only did it twice.

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20 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well, fingers are better at certain things than penises…in general, yes…if you were used to a bigger penis, the smaller penis (which his isn’t, really) will feel differently…a lot different, actually (from my experience) just figure it out, you know? It’s no big deal.

judochop's avatar

If I had two joints in my penis and the ability to move them I’d imagine I’d be a better lover. Just call me Mr. Finger Dick.

El_Cadejo's avatar

“He’s not experienced though, I’m his second partner and before me he only did it twice.” I would say its more this than his size. You’ll just have to help him practice to get better :P

Edit: Also, try this ;)

chelle21689's avatar

Well, I know that a finger can do some things like bend but even just by having him move his finger in and out really quick it can feel good.

SmashTheState's avatar

5½ inches is not “on the small side,” it’s statistically average for a North American. The same way the media has made women feel their breasts are too small, they’ve convinced men that anything smaller than 7 inches is tiny. For decades it was believed that 6 inches was “average,” making billions of men feel insecure. Just a few years ago now, they looked at the data a second time and realized that a statistical mistake had been made, and that the average penis length is actually closer to 5½ inches. (This is for North American males. It’s different from place to place. In India, for example, penis size tends to be somewhat smaller, which has created a serious problem with condom use. No male wants to ask for “small” condoms, but condoms made for larger pena are less effective on smaller pena, which is really a big problem when one has population control issues like India does.)

As for the original question, more than 80% of the nerves in the vagina are within the first two inches. As long as he’s two inches or longer, size shouldn’t be an issue. Humans have ridiculously oversized pena, the largest of any primate (by far – the great apes only have about two to three inches or so) and one of the largest of any animal by mass.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No, I think it’s because he’s not had intercourse enough times with you for you two to figure how your bodies move best together. Toss him a hand towel of t-shirt sometime and ask him if he can bounce it on his erection- great exercise for tinky winkies that will get him acquainted with muscles and sensation to move at will against particular spots, more than just in and out.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@SmashTheState I’ve always seen the plural of penis as penes.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
everephebe's avatar

I would guess that it isn’t really his penis that is the factor, rather your own relationship with him or his own inexperience, both of which are much more likely then it being something to do with his comparative lack of equipment.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Bellatrix's avatar

Practice, practice, practice. The more you do it, the better it will get. Enjoy learning about each other and what works for you both. Don’t think so much about it. It is supposed to be fun. He is very inexperienced generally and you both are inexperienced in terms of each other and each other’s likes and needs. Stop thinking about the length and start thinking about what to do with his penis and his fingers. Talk to him about what works for you. Let him know where feels great and what is not so great.

1niceoldlady's avatar

I agree with Bellatrix. You need to give this time- practice different positions and talk to him about what works best for you. Do not give up. Size is not the end all be all. A good relationship on an emotional level is very important- more important than size during sex.

chelle21689's avatar

Over 7 inches isn’t really big??

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Are we talking length or circumference?

everephebe's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies if ya need much more than seven inches lengthwise to get the job done, you’re doing it wrong.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Having a large cock doesn’t mean that a guy is good in bed.

Boners only work if the one possessing it doesn’t pass out cold due to blood loss in the brain.

abysmalbeauty's avatar

@wundayatta thank you for the laugh!

@OP I doubt its the length that your noticing is different but rather the girth unless you like the feeling of someone poking your cervix. Anyways just tell him what feels good and eventually hell hit the right spots without needing direction.

wundayatta's avatar

Let me say it in baby words so that perhaps the moderators can understand. And I should note that while this is humorous, it isn’t funny. It is the principle that we see in any addiction anywhere.

When you get used to a member of a certain size, it becomes the standard for you. Then, something smaller doesn’t feel the same, and if you want something that will feel the same, size-wise, you must have something the same size, or bigger. If you get something bigger, and lose it, then you still need something of a similar or larger size to feel the same.

If you follow this out logically, you can get to the point where you need eight inches instead of seven, or nine, instead of eight. This is a physical fact, although apparently the moderators, in their wisdom, think it should not be mentioned. Or maybe they don’t believe it, and thus censor it. Well, I hope they can pull together some evidence before they pull logical posts just because they don’t like the tone.

Can women give up on feeling full and go back to something smaller? Of course it’s possible. But it’s also possible that they won’t be able to, and will be stuck, unable to be happy unless they get something of the proper size.

If you want to change the way you feel about these things, you need self control. You need to be able to think for yourself. You need to be able to create your own sense of sexual identity. You have to stop worrying about comparing people, and simply worry about your relationships and your own sexuality, and being openminded about what you will be happy with.

Otherwise, it will be as I said. FIrst 7 inches. Then 8. Then 9. And you will never be happy with anything less, and also unable to find anything that makes you happy.

This is the stupid boring version of a post that was moderated because it was humorous, and apparently because of the belief that if it’s funny, it must be unhelpful. Sometimes the prissiness of this place reminds me of a church lady convention.

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