Social Question

nikipedia's avatar

(NSFW) What does it take for you to unfacebook someone?

Asked by nikipedia (27454points) January 9th, 2012

If you just want to answer the question generally, feel free. I also have a more specific question:

My cousin’s wife recently posted on facebook the number of orgasms she had during sex. The next day, she posted, “If you don’t like it, block me.”

I love sex, and I love orgasms, and I love my cousin, but I don’t love them all in the same sentence. I have never met his wife and would like to have a good relationship with her, so I would feel a little bad unfriending her, but that’s pretty far over the line, even for me.

What do you think?

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37 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I solved the facebook drama by moving back to MySpace.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Not that, that’s for sure. In the past half a year, I’ve un-friended (why, is this not a word yet, lol?) around 70 people because I didn’t interact with them much, no hard feelings. I’ve un-friended others if their posts became more racist or sexist than I can stomach or care to deal with…as I always say, FB is a private sphere for me, not the time to educate ignorants on a million subjects so I unfriend when necessary…

rebbel's avatar

Anyone having less than six orgasms per sexy time gets unfriended.

zenvelo's avatar

To the top right of her posts is a little grey down arrow; click that and there is a drop down menu, with an option to block all her posts. You’ll never see her posts again.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir, I’ve unfriended people that I didn’t really interact with. That’s pretty much it. It would take quite a lot to make me delete someone from my list, as far as behavior goes.

I’m honestly not sure how I would react in a situation like yours, aside from either ignoring it or blocking her posts.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I say, block her. And then if she asks about it, say “you said, if I didn’t like it, block you”.

For me, that would totally be over the line. I might first PM my cousin and say “hey, you know lists? This is what they’re for. I’d be happy to help you create one for this type of stuff if you don’t know how to do it.” Because I wouldn’t really have a problem posting that type of info, but I also have a billion and one lists for who gets what – sexy stuff (vanilla), sexy stuff (kinky), sexy stuff (no, that’s not sexy…), political stuff (queer rights), political stuff (economy), etc. There’s just no reason they can’t do the same.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I keep separate separate fb’s for co workers, friends and family. Even so, there’s always someone who adds AWKWARD to the posts. Usually I ignore and try not to gouge out my eyes, like with what my stepdaughter and her friends post.

For me to unfriend someone it would take them directly attacking me or a mutual “friend”, them being in a constant drug induced ramble or me deciding that person is an acquaintance I have less and less interaction with. What your cousin wrote, I’d hide it from my wall and ignore but that’s just my own tolerance built around a flambouyant family :)

tranquilsea's avatar

I unfriended this lady after she shunned my kids and then shunned me and then got mad at me after I wrote her off. But I really lost it when she sent my 16 year old a PM on Facebook calling him a coward and telling him “that she thought he was made of better stuff” after he de-friended her on Facebook. She’s just a perpetual drama machine.

Blackberry's avatar

I’ve never unfriended someone. All the people I add, I actually know for the most part. If there are disagreements, we stay mature.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@nikipedia Lists are the BEST. Because without lists, I can post maybe one status update every 2 months. With lists, I can post my drunk thoughts to that one other person who cares (and does the same to me, too).

tranquilsea's avatar

@nikipedia Yup, that’s her. She had the balls to call me and want to be friends just after she sent my son that message.

judochop's avatar

I do not unfriend people unless I start to dislike them.
Also, may I friend your cousins wife?

tranquilsea's avatar

Oh and when I sent her my “fuck off and leave us alone” e-mail (the only one I’ve ever sent) she e-mailed me back and told me she was upset with my son because they were friends. Who the fuck is 39 and calls a 16 year old your “friend”? <deep cleansing breath>

She was the best, most cathartic de-friending ever.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Ah, I wish we could all post stuff like that! Two friends and I have a message thread where we post things we wish we could share as statuses (like about having premarital sex with muslims on easter sunday). It takes one of two things for me to “unfacebook” someone:

1. Posting constantly
2. Constant complaining (about stupid matters)

cookieman's avatar

Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir, I’ve unfriended about fifty people simply because we never interacted (even when I was active on FB).

Other than that, I unfriended one gal because she posted about thirty times a day about her born-again faith in Jesus. I also unfriended two old grade school friends because of their racist posts.

augustlan's avatar

I probably wouldn’t unfriend her, but if she routinely mentions things like that, I’d hide her posts from my news feed. Like you, I really don’t want to know how good my cousin is in bed! I’ve hidden all sorts of people for posting constantly (“Just went to get the mail.” followed by “Now I’m on the toilet!”) or because they’re just not my cup of tea.

I think I’ve only unfriended one person, for being a major right wing nutcase. It was just some guy I knew back in junior high, and the stuff he posted made my head want to explode, so I let him go.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I’ve also unfriended people for overposting, both in general and about specific things. One friend posted really mundane updates about 20 times a day – no jokes, no witticisms, no conversation starters, just boring stuff. Another couple of friends have been parents who have not really understood that their child is their child, not my child (seriously. I don’t need to see 30 pics of your child eating cheerios this morning, and then another 14 of them getting ready to go ice skating, and then another 20 of them actually ice skating, etc, all in one day.).

dappled_leaves's avatar

I only defriend people who don’t interact with me. In those cases, I figure, what’s the point?

And I think @zenvelo had it – you can block her posts without defriending her. I would guess that is probably what she meant by “block me”.

chyna's avatar

I’ve unfriended one guy I knew from grade school who spouted right wing political rants at least 15 times a day. I also unfriended one lady I knew from high school that posted about praying for her or her family each and every time they walked out of their house to go anywhere. These people are annoying and I don’t care if I hurt their feelings or not. They are not really my “friends” and I would never hang out with them in real life.

keobooks's avatar

The only person I ever unfriended was my boss. We all signed up on FaceBook for work. I never had any trouble with having any coworkers on my account, and they were there for years. But my boss and I started having trouble getting along.

Suddenly she was being a fanatic about checking the times I posted on FaceBook to the times I was working, trying to catch me using FaceBook at work so she could reprimand me (never mind that my other coworkers were using it right in front of her and didn’t seem to mind) I never posted at work, but I really didn’t like her making a big show of checking my status updates against the schedule.

She also posted weirdass stuff about her singing in the shower and odd sexy dreams she had. Considering that most of her friends were coworkers and colleagues, this was too squicky for me. I couldn’t stand to read her stuff. I kept my coworkers and they are still friends, but if I get a new job, I will never friend my coworkers ever again.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I just went through and unfriended over 150 people today.

The two main reasons were:

1) I had not interacted with those people for more than a year and

2) They were the former SO’s of people I’m friends with, but with whom I had no particular affinity.

Edit to add: I wouldn’t block your cousin’s wife, but I would block her posts.

Edit to add again: There is one guy I am dying to unfriend but we have enough mutual friends that it is in my best interest to keep him in my list. He is also the type to take an unfriending very personally and he could make my interaction in certain social circles somewhat uncomfortable.

Marchofthefox's avatar

I unfriend people when they post inappropriate stuff over and over again and I see they’re being rude and putting other people down.

DominicX's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever “defriended” anyone. I’ve been defriended a few times that I’ve noticed, but I’ve never removed anyone. I’ve never been involved in Facebook drama and I’m not really bothered by anything my “friends” post, so…meh :\

Rarebear's avatar

Being insulting of another poster on my wall.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I only un-friend if: they use facebook as a political rant platform, or they sent me invites to a stupid game, ’ so and so needs a cow’ or whatever. I’ve only unfriended two people.

jazmina88's avatar

I only unfriended a weirdo who sent a message that said he wanted to do me.
I am very tolerant. I do block a couple of whackados with their posts

mazingerz88's avatar

@johnpowell My Space still exists? Gonna check it out now. : )

elbanditoroso's avatar

This plays right into the discussion from yesterday about how people CHOOSE to be offended. It looks like something that this cousin-in-law did tripped your I’m-offended Alarm.

My initial reaction is SO WHAT.

If she wants to tell the world, let her. Her life, her prerogative, her privacy. If you don’t like reading it, then don’t read it. And if she does it a lot and you don’t like it a lot, then unfriend her . But don’t make it a cause celebre.

Every one does something sometimes that you (or I) may find unappetizing or even gross. That’s because we are humans and thankfully all different.

TO me, what you describe isn’t an issue. She gave you the right advice – if you don’t like what she posts, then don’t read her stuff.

Not a deep question, really.

nikipedia's avatar

@elbanditoroso, are you having a cranky day?

elbanditoroso's avatar

@niki – actually no, I feel better today than yesterday or the day before.

OpryLeigh's avatar

If you don’t like her posts but don’t want to cause waves y defriending her then why not just hide her posts?! She won’t know.

SomeoneElse's avatar

Why do people be-friend people they don’t actually know? Surely it’s not a contest to reach some huge total of friends, if so, I’m lower down the friend chain than nearly everybody!
I have only ever de-friended one person and that was ‘cos they were constantly crude and not funny.

keobooks's avatar

I just de-friended someone who posted WAY too intimate pictures of herself giving birth. I love new baby pics, but I do NOT want to see “crowning” pics. I would have talked to her about it, but someone else did and she started on this diatribe about people minding their own business and “stop hating on” people who can post whatever they want.

I knew it would be pointless to talk to her about it, and I can tell she’ll be one of those moms that posts pictures of her baby’s first diaper poop and other gross things that don’t belong on FB. So off she went.

cookieman's avatar

@keobooks: I love that; “Mind your own business”—on a public forum?!?!

OpryLeigh's avatar

@keobooks I have a similar Facebook friend who is constantly posting intimate pictures of a similar nature to your friend. I kind of want to tell her to get over herself. You should have sent some of her pictures over to STFU Parents before you defriended her!!

keobooks's avatar

@cprevite – Oh yeah – have you never seen the people who say stuff like “If you don’t like my pictures/posts/status updates don’t read them!” people? They act like it’s your fault for being offended because you should have known better than to look at stuff that might offend you.

Now I would agree with them if I had gone to a porn site and then acted offended by what I saw there. But when I am on my own FB page minding my own business and a really gross shot pops up, how the heck was I supposed to prepare for that and not look? I was also thinking—oh jeez .. some of her friends have JOBS and get on FB at work from time to time. What would your boss say to seeing that mess on the screen?

I sent two of her really offensive posts to STFU Parents a few months ago (regarding pregnancy) I haven’t seen them on the site yet, but it could be that people sent in better ones on the same topic. I didn’t even think to send the pics because it was a last straw. I wish I did though.

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