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nikkiduq's avatar

My partner and I are both infected with HPV. Are we going to live normal lives? Should we be bothered?

Asked by nikkiduq (551points) February 29th, 2012

I found out that I have HPV. I do not know who infected who but we do not really know what to make of it. I mean, we’ve been together for six years, planning to get married, and have kids. I do not know which one of us had it first. Maybe he did, but he has stronger immune system than I do so I developed warts. After the warts have disappeared, and not that we both know we have HPV and there is nothing we can do about it, what now? I understand we have to keep our immune systems strong, and that I need to get an anti-hvp shot and to totally get rid of my warts, and I understand there is nothing really a male can do about it… but then what? Should we stop enjoying sex? Should we limit sex? Should we deeply be bothered and worry about it the whole time? I really do not know what to do about it.

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9 Answers

YoBob's avatar


But seriously… HPV is about as common as the virus that causes cold sores in your mouth. Your question is kind of like asking if you should stop kissing because you and your partner get a mouth ulcer from time to time.

Don’t be silly, enjoy your life together…

geeky_mama's avatar

Did your doctor tell you how tremendously common HPV is? Better than 50% of people who have sex get HPV at least some time during their life.
Also, in 90% of cases, the body’s immune system clears HPV naturally within two years.

Get some facts and seriously don’t worry.
Your question is essentially like saying: “Should I stop enjoying sex because my partner and I both have a mild cold virus?”

The only thing you need to do (if you are female) is be sure to not skip your annual exam. Having had HPV means you should be more diligent about making sure you don’t have any early signs of cervical cancer.

YoKoolAid's avatar

My partner and I are in the same situation. We don’t let it affect our lives and neither should you. Enjoy each other!

KatawaGrey's avatar

Both of you just need to keep going to regular check-ups and you should be fine. The chances that either of you will develop problems from it are pretty rare, but it’s good to keep on top of things. It’s better to be smart and a little extra cautious about it than to be cavalier.

Aethelflaed's avatar

If you’ve already got HPV, the vaccine is less successful (this is why they want to give it to 12 year old girls, so that they get the maximum protection). It also won’t cure your HPV – you’re going to have warts for the rest of your life, unless your body clears it up on its own. But, the warts version shouldn’t prevent you from having kids. And if the two of you already both have it, there’s no reason to have any less sex. Go to a doctor, get checked out, get the warts burned off if you want. But you’ll still live relatively normal lives.

JLeslie's avatar

80% of people have been exposed to HPV. Just get yearly PAP smears at the GYN to keep yourself cancer free.

Since you have been diagnosed, did they remove the areas? Did you have a culposcopy? The only time it will impact having children is if your cervix has a lot of areas affected, and the removal of the areas weakens the cervix, but if you get regular GYN appointments that is very very unlikely, you should not have any significant problems with your health or pregnancy if you go regularly to your GYN. In rare cases it develops into an aggressive form of cancer, but it is very rare, even most cases that become cancerous are usually easily treatable.

Also, I think women and men should get the test done on their tongue, which is not commonly done, and if you have anal sex you might want to consider having the test there too, which is not typically done either, which I find negligent by our medical system in America. HPV can lead to cancer in all those areas. I am not saying test those areas yearly, but every so often is probably prudent.

nikkiduq's avatar

Believe it or not, I’m 25 but it was my first time to consult a gyne, because as silly as it sounds, I’m too embarrassed to schedule a check up. I cringe at the thought that other people may take a look at my private parts. So anyway, the gyne only mentioned that my warts are STD, that my bf probably cheated on me if I haven’t had sexual encounters with a man other than him (which made us both argue and fight but made up in the end because he loves me so much but that’s another story), which I now think sounds silly. She gave me a prescription – a gel (Aldara) to get rid of the warts that, as said, would probably go away in 8 months or more than a year, and told me that I have an option to burn off the warts. I opted for the gel treatment. Now I think I was slightly misinformed about this whole HPV thing. Maybe it’s because matters like this are still very taboo in our country. So anyway, thanks for all your answers, and I think I might need to consult to another yne to get a second opinion on what to do with these warts, and a gyne that could make me understand better about HPV. In our country, this HPV thing seem to sound like it’s something really deadly because they often associate it with cancer, although I am aware that the virus that causes warts are different from the ones that cause cancer.

JLeslie's avatar

@nikkiduq Actually, HPV can lead to cancer. They are not different they are the same. There are about 80 strains of HPV, and certain strains are much more likely than others to lead to cancer. I don’t know the drug you were given, but I assume it treats the HPV. In America they usually paint your cervix with a solution if there are abnormal cells found, and look at it with a special light and cut away any areas that look atypical.

What is very important now is you go to the doctor as instructed to be checked. If he said to come back in 6 months, do it. If eventually you are given the clear, you should still go yearly from now on to be checked, which I assume is what is recommended even in your country. You can longer be lazy about it. You have been exposed and your body has had trouble keeping the virus at bay. This is very very common, there is not need to be very concerned, but there is reason to be vigilant.

Your boyfriend could have picked up the virus before you and infected you 6 years ago, you will never know, so no need to argue with him.

nikkiduq's avatar

Oh. I meant the virus strain that causes the warts are different from the ones that causes cancer, but if left untreated could develop to cancer. Yep. It is important to and we will keep ourselves vigilant and go to regular check ups per doctor’s advice. Doctor also mentioned I have to get a PAP. Thanks again for the answers.

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