General Question

wallabies's avatar

Is it possible to be strongly attracted (like electric) to someone you don't find extremely physically attractive? Is chemistry to blame?

Asked by wallabies (1081points) April 20th, 2012

And what is chemistry in this sense anyway? How does it work? Is there any way to diffuse it?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

Luiveton's avatar

What? What do you mean by ‘like electric’ and ‘chemistry to blame’? Sorry but are you talking about a human? Please elaborate. :)

BosM's avatar

Yes, this is possible. It’s happened to me once in the past with someone who worked in my company. When I met her for the first time the electricity in the air was undeniable, it was like I knew this person and we talked as if we were life long friends. Diffusing it was easy, because I’m married and take that commitment seriously, so we did nothing but work together on occasion. In your case if you are both unattached then explore the chemistry/friendship, see if there’s something more. Good luck.

tedd's avatar

Physical attraction is not the only type of attraction. In fact if you’re looking for a successful relationship, it’s probably not even the most important attraction.

Luiveton's avatar

Okay sometimes I think so differently than others. Why oh why.

wallabies's avatar

@BosM Yes, but just because you certainly won’t act on it doesn’t mean it just goes away, no?

@tedd Agree, I guess I just always assumed physical and chemical attraction go together but now that I think about it more, chemical attraction (whatever it is) actually seems to be a little more important than physical.

Charles's avatar

Yes. I’ve often notice myself very sexually attractive to women who weren’t that hot – maybe geeky female engineers for example. (I think it all comes down to confidence – confidence makes a woman “look” pretty good.)
In fact, I am sort of turned off by “generic” hot women – thin, modelesque, trendy, women who resemble women on magazine covers in grocery store check out lines. It almost sends a message these women are too preoccupied with making themselves look like someone else rather than take pride in who they are.

Sunny2's avatar

Energy can also be the catalyst for attraction.

Keep_on_running's avatar

All the time I’ve been attracted to guys who probably weren’t considered “attractive” by society.

Roby's avatar

II don’t think least by me it wasn’t. I’ve lived my entire life wanting woman to be attracted to me…I had a friend say once that if you want a women, they will come to you. I guess, if your attractive enough. I gave up long ago. I don’t think personality and self-esteem has anything to do with it at all. If you aint got the loose.

gasman's avatar

When referring to people’s interpersonal relations, the saying that “opposites attract” or that couples “have chemistry” are metaphors only, not to be taken in any direct and literal physical or chemical sense. It’s true that pheromone molecules might mediate one’s feeling toward another, but no actual chemistry in the usual scientific sense.

Scientific terms are often borrowed into general usage as stand-ins for cultural phenomena. One also speaks of people having “energy” or “inertia,” a couple having “sparks fly” or “electricity in the air” (see @BosM‘s answer above) etc., but these are not to be taken as scientific terms, just analogies.

@wallabies, if I am stating the obvious (“well, duh…”) then please accept my apologies – no intent to be insulting or condescending. I think a lot of people might be confused on these points.

wallabies's avatar

@gasman Yep I hope people get all that, lol. But there still must be an explanation why you have intensely strong “electrical” connections with some people (like shaking someone’s hand and feeling like you’ve just closed a circuit) and are intensely “repelled” by others (to the point where you consciously move away from them when they come toward you). Now I just assumed it was largely physical, but now am thinking that in fact is not the case. So then what?

Paradox25's avatar

Yes, demeanor and personality can go a long ways. How someone responds to you (both physically and mentally) also goes a very long way with me too. Physical attraction is much more to me than just the physical aspect of it.

Bellatrix's avatar

Yes people can be very attracted to those who are not conventionally, physically attractive. Attractiveness is driven by much more than physical appearance.

For instance, I remember this guy that I really didn’t think was a good looking man. If I was being blunt, I thought he was pretty ugly to look at. However, he was very, very confident, funny and had a lot of charisma. Gorgeous looking women would fall over themselves to go out with him. It was one of those ‘what the hell do they see in him situations?’. I think it was his confidence though. He was so self-assured he seemed to exude sex appeal. He was never without a tall, willowy, beautiful woman on his arm. He didn’t even treat them that well.

I was the sister of one of his close friends and so I was ‘out-of-bounds’ and I had also known him for as long as I can remember. So, I was never interested in him that way. He was like a brother more than a potential lover.

kaye1williams's avatar

I am a 31 year old female, when I was 17 I met a guy called alex, the first time we met we were in a room together sitting opposite each other in a living room amongst other friends. I felt electricity pulling me towards wanting to touch him and in the end we were sitting next to each other laughing. Within half an hour we were having sex upstairs and while we were in bed he said did you feel that downstairs? so yes I believe in electricity…xx

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther