Have a favorite bad pun?
Asked by
AstroChuck (
37609
)
May 27th, 2008
from iPhone
One that really makes one groan.
example-
A three-legged dog goes into an old west saloon and limps up to the bar and says, “I’m looking for the dirty lowdown scoundrel who shot my paw.”
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17 Answers
whenever someone lays a really bad pun on me, I always respond: “enough with the PUNishment” and then we both snort and groan
I still can’t find a good replacement for: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
A mountain walks into a bar and orders a drink. Immediately the whole place starts shaking and rumbling. The bartender says to the mountain, “You, get outta my bar!” And the mountain says, “What? It’s not my fault!”
Repeating myself:
The hymn; Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear.
Two maggots were fighting in dead Ernest.
Punch line (you make up the joke); don’t leave any tern unstoned.
One of my favorites-
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his wife on the road?
Astro, that took me a minute.
I went to the dam to get some dam water but the dam man wouldn’t give me any dam water so I told the dam man he could keep his dam water.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
I took a photo of this girl whom I knew, sitting naked next to her brand-new DVD player.
She was named after a Biblical character, and I just couldn’t resist doing this, so I titled the photo:
“SAMSUNG & DELILAH”
August 22, 2008, 11:59 PM EDT
Do you know how to tell the gender of a chromosome?
You pull down its genes!
THAT one only qualifies for 2/3 of a pun.
P-U!
Q: Didja hear about the dude on the road construction crew, who accidentally drove some road-making equipment over a policeman?
A: He was arrested for ASPHALTING an officer!
Little Jimmy told his teacher he never saw a humming bird but he had watched a spelling bee.
True story:
A Houston Police officer was told about an injury, due to a small riot that had occurred, and someone said, quoting verbatim, “My buddy got wounded in the fracas.”
The officer said, I swear, “That’s near the femur, right? Can he still walk?”
(That illustrates what can happen, when you lower the qualifying scores on the written examinations.)
If a parsley farmer goes bankrupt can they garnish his wages?
Lettuce think about that one, AC.
I knead some thyme…
Right now, I have to convince a grocery store manager that when I saw a customer in the produce section taking a leek, that the guy was shoplifting, and there is nothing to clean up.
LOST CHURCHES OF LOUISIANA
The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating. It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area. One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans . The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.
Without hesitation, the woman replied, “I don’t know about other people, but we haven’t gone to Churches in years. We get our chicken from Popeyes.”
The look on the interviewer’s face was priceless.
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