Social Question

mothermayi's avatar

People who seem to thrive on constant rudeness- emotional issues or just jerks?

Asked by mothermayi (436points) May 8th, 2012

Do you think it’s just because they have emotional issues? Is it because they’re just jerks? Could it be a combination?

I have a few family members who are always assholes, no matter the circumstances. It’s like they get off on being mean.

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11 Answers

Thammuz's avatar

It’s on a case by case basis.

Salem88's avatar

I’ve never met anyone who is constantly rude.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

In some cases I think it’s a combo where one got the other rolling and now the personality is FUBAR but maybe others are just an offshoot personality? I had an ex BIL who I absolutely adored and who was an excellent friend but he seemed generate FUBAR wherever he went away from the family, you’d assume his attitude was like that all the time. I also remember as a kid outside of the family people surprised when I told them how great my grandpa was as they assumed he was a hard, cold taskmaster through and through.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I think of jerkiness as a sub-type of a particular emotional issue.

I secretly don’t think people respect me as much as I deserve.

I will assert myself forcefully and inappropriately to make everybody recognize how I am worthy of respect.

It is actually kind of tragic, because normal, healthy people will let them get away with it most of the time, because normal, healthy people don’t want to be in random conflicts about stupid stuff. The jerk walks away feeling validated, and more likely to behave that way in the future.

Those people he imagines now respect him decide to interact with him less and less, unless they have their own emotional problems and perceive themselves deserving of abuse.

thorninmud's avatar

According to the “Big Five” model of personality, one of the five stable traits of personality is “agreeableness”. Like introversion/extroversion, agreeableness changes very little over one’s lifetime. Someone who ranks high on agreeableness has a tender heart, is interested in people, is sympathetic and easy to get along with. Someone who is low on agreeableness will create conflict, show little concern for others and put people on edge.

It’s interesting to note that although people who rank low in agreeableness can be hard to like, this is not considered to be a disorder. In fact, people who are low in agreeableness may to be rewarded by society in certain ways. Tests show that low-agreeableness people tend to be perceived as more competent and to be perceived as better leaders.

majorrich's avatar

I think it is a disorder called ‘Douchebagitosis’

josie's avatar

What’s the difference between emotional issues, and just plain jerks. I always figured it was the same thing.

righty's avatar

They thrive on it because they get a kick out of it! They hate being ignored. So, the best thing to do is ignore them.

Cruiser's avatar

Lack of or inability to experience empathy.

jerv's avatar

As @Thammuz says, it’s a case by case thing.

Now, do any of the ASDs count as “emotional issues”? People accuse me of thriving on rudeness when the truth is that I merely thrive on acting naturally instead of putting on a deceptive mask and straining to maintain a false front, and the real me is honest and generally lacks the tact or social graces to really give a fuck whether you think I am rude or not.

But not all rude people are “on the spectrum”; there are more assholes tan there are autistic people, so many people are dicks for reasons other than the reason I come across as rude.

Paradox25's avatar

I think that the term ‘jerk’ is fairly subjective. I’ve met people whom were considered jerks by most others, but yet they’re among the most loving people I’ve ever met, termed as jerks simply because they didn’t fit in, couldn’t defend themselves or were coined as jerks by the real jerks.

There have been cases where some of these types of people really did seem to enjoy being jerks, but I’ve rarely found those types to be the loner variety though. I really do believe that the behavior of most individuals tends to be molded by other people and their enviroments, which can make it tricky in deciding whether one really is a jerk or not. Sometimes people act like jerks as a defense mechanism.

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