Social Question

LittleLemon's avatar

When was the last time you were rude to waitstaff?

Asked by LittleLemon (1281points) June 8th, 2012

Was your rudeness justified? (Poor service, long wait, etc.)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

josie's avatar

Never. It doesn’t do any good, and rudeness corrupts the soul of the rude. Anyway, in most cases poor service is a management and systems problem, not a bad waitress or waiter. It’s like in the military. There are no bad soldiers, there are only bad leaders.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’m never rude. If I have to send something back I’m always as polite as I can be. I don’t want a disgruntled employee spitting in my food lol.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I try to never be rude, even if there’s something to bring up that’s not satisfactory because then I’ll probably lose out on getting what I want. Rude gets hustled through the cattle shoot and away. They don’t want to see rude, talk to rude or ever again wait on rude. Poor service is easy to remedy by talking to other staff which usually gets you better treatment and some comps the next time.

gailcalled's avatar

Never. Without being rude, I can mention something that is not satisfactory.

wildpotato's avatar

Recently. They brought the wrong dish, which wouldn’t have been a problem except that I couldn’t eat one of the ingredients. I wasn’t upset; just sent it back and they took it off my bill – but then instead of apologizing or saying no more about it, the server explained to me how the mistake was not her fault because I hadn’t specified which of the two nachos on their menu I wanted. Rather than reply angrily, I held my tongue and just stated at her. Then I drew a line through the tip space. I think this rudeness was justified.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Last summer we went to lunch at a nice place in my namesake. I had the soup and a grilled cheese. The soup was good. The server brought the sandwich. It tasted like melted rubber. I tried to eat it, I couldn’t. The bread was excellent. I was so bummed. I knew they we’re trying to make a good meal.The server came back and asked how everything was. I said it sucked, it came out so fast I couldn’t stop it. Her mouth dropped open. She took everything away. A few minutes later she was back, she patted my shoulder and said I was right. The cheese sucked. It wasn’t what they ordered. She brought me a big chocolate cookie. I left a big tip.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I would never try to be rude. Sometimes I do come off as rude, but that’s probably because I haven’t been outside my house for days. These experiences make me cringe with embarrassment.

cookieman's avatar

I try not to be rude to anyone, particularly the person who can spit in my food.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@cprevite I checked the cookie for wetness. She was okay with me. I’d go back.

Kardamom's avatar

Never, not even if I get crappy service. It’s not useful to use tit for tat justice. Your best bet, if the service was rude or bad in some other way, is to discreetly contact the manager and let them know your concerns. But do it after the fact. It’s not right to embarrass them in front of anyone (even if they suck) and as some others have pointed out, you might get something you didn’t ask for in your food. If the manager can’t/won’t help you, you can always point out the bad service of a particular restaurant in an online review. So far, I’ve only had to do that once.

My best friend’s boyfriend is rude to waitstaff all the time, 99% of the time, it’s totally un-justified and it makes me cringe to hear his insulting comments and outrageous demands. I wish she would reprimand him (in private). She doesn’t want to make waves, so she just remains silent.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Never. Maybe when I was an infant – but I’m sure I didn’t mean it.

marinelife's avatar

Never. We have a rude waiter, but all we did was tell the manager and give him specific examples.

Trillian's avatar

Never. I saw Waiting. I’ve had staff be rude to me or to someone I was with, for whatever reason. People who are rude to staff anywhere are bullies, as far as I’m concerned.

JLeslie's avatar

I can’t remember the last time, I am inclined to say never. If I was it was never intentional. The one time in the last 5 years I can remember being really annoyed with a waiter was he came to our table three times a minute apart to get our order, and we needed a little time to look at the menu, which we had told him. Then when we were ready he purposely, and I am very sure it was purposeful, did not look our way to see if we were ready, and did not come over to the table. I eventually sort of sternly and in a slightly elevated voice to be heard said, “sir, we are ready to order.” He was a couple tables away, but there was no one at those two tables I was yelling over, but my frustration did get to me, and in retrospect I wish I had stood up and gone over to him out of courtesy to anyone else in the restaurant and who I was with, although most likely no one else really noticed since it is fairly noisy in there. When he came over I told him I did not appreciate him avoiding eye contact with us and leaving us for a very long time. He tried to say some total bullshit to me which pissed me off royally. Otherwise, nothing I can think of. I have had waitstaff screw up orders a few times recently and I was always polite, they corrected it no problem. They really work so incredibly hard, I think being rude to waitstaff is kind of abusive.

Sunny2's avatar

Never. Rudeness assumes a self-righteousness I don’t possess. If I don’t like the service, I just don’t go back. If the service was really abusive, I would speak to the manager privately.

jca's avatar

Never, that I can remember. If the food is not good, which rarely happens, I will let them know that I know it’s not their fault. If I want something, and I’m waiting for them and they don’t come over, I will get up and get it myself, if possible (napkins or whatever), or I’ll get up and innocently ask a manager for it and he’ll get them hopping. That’s usually embarassing to them, to have their customers up on their own, which isn’t supposed to happen.

One time I was in a restaurant and ordered dessert. The waitress brought a tablespoon. I asked her for a teaspoon, smaller spoon. Who can eat with a tablespoon? She said “those are the only spoons we have.” I didn’t believe it. I asked her “You mean the coffee is served with a tablespoon?” She said yes. Makes zero sense and since it was hard to believe, I had to verify. I asked another waiter and they brought me out a teaspoon. He said they were all being washed at the time. Our waitress lied. I don’t think her tip suffered because I was with other people and we split the bill, but on my own, her tip would have suffered.

I read that the hard part about being a waiter is that you get blamed for everything: the food is bad, the food takes too long to cook, etc. On one of the few occasions when I returned something, I made it clear to the waitress that I know it’s not her fault. I went to a diner and ordered blueberry pancakes, and they were regular pancakes with a glob of blueberry glop, like canned blueberry crap on top. Gross. The wait staff is always appreciative when you let them know it’s not their fault. I told her “I know you didn’t cook it, but this is gross.” She was very understanding.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I can often come across as stand offish with people’s don’t know so I’m sure people think I am rude all the time.

I was rude to the receptionist at the doctor’s surgery. They had some procedures that I didn’t agree with and I took my dissatisfaction of them out in her. When I left I thought to myself, shit, that wasn’t her fault at all. Having been a receptionist myself and knowing how little control they have over certain things I felt really bad for that.

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here; I am rude to Gail all the time; it is necessary to remind her of her place in our pecking order.

Kardamom's avatar

^^ As long as you don’t spray her food, she’ll probably still love you.

downtide's avatar

Never. It’s perfectly possible to raise a complaint without being rude.

shego's avatar

I am guilty of being rude. I was at a restaurant last year, and the waitress was bringing out my food, and sneezed on the food, and still brought the food over to my table, then she sneezed again, in her hand and grabbed my cup by the rim with the same hand to pour some water in the cup. At first I was being nice, and asked her if she could wash her hands, bring out a fresh cup and fresh food because she sneezed on it. She looked at me in disbelief, and said ” I didn’t sneeze on your food.” I kept asking for the manager, and the waitress continued to say that she was on break, and that there was nobody I could talk to. So,I walked out without paying anything, and then manager ran out after me saying that she was going to call the police, because I “stole” from the company. I was very rude to the manager because she kept siding with the waitress, until another couple came out of the place without paying for the same reason. If you are wrong, I will make sure you know

Kardamom's avatar

@shego Finally, a person who was justifiably rude! Good job! This whole situation started out bad and just got worse. Glad you did what you did.

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