General Question

Tiesha154587's avatar

What if you haven't kissed your boyfriend in months?

Asked by Tiesha154587 (87points) September 11th, 2012

When my boyfriend and i started dating we used to kiss all the time, but now we don’t, since it’s been a year. Is there something wrong with that?

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13 Answers

fremen_warrior's avatar

Wrong? No. Unusual? Yes.


Tiesha154587's avatar

How is it unusual? And Thanks.

gailcalled's avatar

This seems to be a much more important issue than whether he will go to the prom with you.

If there’s no kissing, there’s no relationship.

“Right” and “wrong” have no meaning here. I think perhaps you need to ditch this guy and move on to someone who is more fun and more filled with passion.

Coloma's avatar

Right @gailcalled

What boyfriend?

Yes, never try to turn a donkey into a race horse, not gonna happen and you will end up wanting to kill the ass.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Welcome to Fluther!

Have you tried kissing him? There is always the possibility that he is just as concerned as you are. Give him a kiss and see how he reacts. That’s the true test.

Judi's avatar

It sounds more like you’re best friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with that and if you both are content with the way things are then it can make it a lot easier to escape a lot of the drama. (I’m assuming you’re in High School. )
You probably won’t be life long soul mates but everyone doesn’t need a physical relationship when they’re young.

wundayatta's avatar

Sometimes people have different needs for physical affection. Sometimes people change physically. Maybe they develop bad breath. Sometimes… sometimes…. I can’t begin to think of all the possibilities.

The bottom line is you have to talk about it and find out from him what is going on. If it’s bad breath, he may not want to say because he might feel embarrassed to bring it up and to make you feel bad. I really have no idea. But he’s the only who knows and you’ve got to talk to him about it.

When you talk to him, try not to put him on the defensive. Ask him what is going on. Never accuse him of something. Sometimes, even a question can be an accusation. “How come you don’t kiss me any more?” Sounds like an accusation and probably will get a defensive reaction. “What are you talking about, girl? I kiss you all the time!”

So something like, “Boyfriend, you know I love kissing. Lately, I feel like I want to kiss more. Could we do that? Is there any reason why you might not feel like kissing me so much?” You want to say it in a way that allows him to speak up, and you also want to shut up so he can say what he wants to say. Don’t get defensive about it. You really want this information so you can fix the problem. It doesn’t help to deny a problem.

Nullo's avatar

I dated a girl once who would never, ever initiate anything. I’m talking about PG stuff – kissing, hand-holding, movie-cuddling, nada. She’d go along with it if I initiated. Got irritating after a while.Possible that you’re facing the same thing.

Shippy's avatar

Kissing is said to be the deepest intimacy and also the deepest form of communication. If communication is not great, it is said to show in the lack of kissing.

marinelife's avatar

It kind of indicates the thrill is gone.

Tiesha154587's avatar

Hmm well, i am in high school and i think it’s because of his mom. Because whenever we are around her he just shut me down and i can understand that and all. He tells me he does miss kissing me, but he don’t want to get caught and i love and care for me a lot. I don’t want to break up with him at all.

wundayatta's avatar

Details make a big difference here. I suspect you are right. If you never have any privacy, that is going to cut the kissing down quite a bit. Although I do have a friend who tells me she used to make out with her boyfriend on the living room couch when her boyfriend’s parents were in the next room.

I don’t think I’d do that. I can’t recall ever kissing a girlfriend in my parents house, unless we were in my room with the door closed and I was old enough that I was sure they would never come in without knocking and being invited.

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