Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

What have you learned about relationships in your life?

Asked by wundayatta (58525points) December 9th, 2012

I’m sure you’ve learned a lot, so let’s narrow it down to the first couple of things that enter your mind. They don’t have to be the best things or most important things. Just any two things you’ve learned over the course of your life.

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23 Answers

filmfann's avatar

Love is never stronger than that first time. Each time after it will be a little weaker.
Each love leaves a scar on your heart that will always ache.
Women can be filled with love, and 2 years later laugh off a relationship that was once all consuming.

burntbonez's avatar

They are so very hard. Much harder than anyone would expect. They don’t look like what your parents make them look like.

Unbroken's avatar

Take things slow. The best relationships are built on friendships.

Communication is intimate as well as well as physical intimacy. You will need both.

@filmfann don’t you think we “laugh it off” because we have grown and known deeper love rather then chemical love and why be so focused on the past? Life doesn’t have to be a tragedy.

Aethelwine's avatar

Secrets are poison that can easily ruin a relationship.

Honesty is very important, even if it might hurt the one you love.
Forgiveness is also important. No person is perfect. We all make mistakes.

The love I feel now after a long relationship with the same person is the most love I’ve ever felt in my life. This includes the love I have for my husband, my best friend and my parents. As each year passes, my love grows stronger.

ucme's avatar

Go with the flow & never claim her bottom looks big in anything, unless you have a foolproof exit plan.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@burntbonez Luckily (or not), my parents made relationships look anything but easy. My goal in life is to never have a marriage like theirs. Who thought things could be so incredibly miserable when there’s no abuse (spousal, child, substance, or otherwise) present?

cookieman's avatar

Love is wonderful but relationships are work.

augustlan's avatar

Don’t expect more of each other than each is happy to give. Otherwise, you will spend an awful lot of time being disappointed, which breeds resentment.

Bellatrix's avatar

That you can’t take relationships for granted and need to nurture them to keep them fresh and wonderful.

That things sometimes don’t work out and that’s okay. Life will go on and as long as you learn from the experience, the chances are things may even get a whole lot better.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I’m trying something along the lines of what @rosehips mentioned. I’m going slowly in my current relationship.

I’m trying to take things one step at a time and see where they lead. I can report so far so good.

Instead of catapulting myself into a furious affair, I’m starting by building a friendship. It may just be working. We’re very comfortable with each other and may soon be taking the dating to a new level.

We’ll see.

Also, a trusted friend once told me in all romantic relationship to use the acronym FARM:
You’re either looking for a Fuck, an Affair, a Relationship, or a Marriage. This friend cautioned that it was often impossible for one level to move to another level. Currently, I’m hoping for a marriage.

mazingerz88's avatar

Most people don’t get the kind of relationship they really prefer. Or am I just that cynical-?

creative1's avatar

My best relationship was one that I was friends with the person first, we could talk about anything which I have to say is the biggest thing in a relationship. If you feel you can’t talk to whom your dating its most likely doomed to failure once the initial fun wears off.

cookieman's avatar

Yes x10 ^^

blueiiznh's avatar

Never wear rose-colored glasses.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. ~Sun-tzu

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. ~William James

wundayatta's avatar

Keep your happiness close, and your depression even closer! ~Wundayatta

Relationships aren’t formulaic. They are all different and all work in different ways. Sometimes a one night stand turns into a marriage. Sometimes a marriage turns into murder. There are no guarantees. If you don’t maintain your relationship, it’ll atrophy and perhaps even die.

Kardamom's avatar

When someone says, “You’re too good for me” believe them.

When someone says, “I’m not good for you” believe them.

When someone says they don’t think you should date “Because it will ruin our friendship” believe them.

KNOWITALL's avatar

People ALWAYS present a side of them that is flattering and is often not who they really are deep inside.

Men are just as insecure about themselves as women are in relationships.

Sometimes you really do only get one shot at a perfect love, and sometimes no love is ever 100% perfect.

flutherother's avatar

Relationships are not always good
Relationships do not always last.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

They don’t have to be hard work. They could literally save your life. There is no reason to think you must be with a person for life – even if you’re with them for 10 years, those could be an amazing 10 years and then it’s time to separate.

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Earthgirl's avatar

Love is more satisfying when the other person loves you for the same things you love about yourself. This is true whether that person is a parent, brother, sister, friend or lover.

That said, It’s also very nice when someone finds your personality “flaws” to be charming quirks instead of deal breakers!

When you meet someone who “gets” you it is very life affirming. If you never seem to meet anyone who does, you will always feel lonely no matter how many friends you have.

MrMagnetism01's avatar


My belief is that relationships are sustained through a base of trust. To say that “no love will be stronger than the first” is hard to believe because as humans we grow and learn from those past relationships that didn’t work out for one reason or another. The key to finding that fulfilling bond is being able to give all you are to the other person. To give all your love means being happy with who you are, and confident in what you can give to the recipient. Know your true worth and love who you are before you plan on sharing it with another.

augustlan's avatar

Welcome to Fluther, @MrMagnetism01!

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