General Question

stephen's avatar

How do u mostly start a talk with stranger?

Asked by stephen (351points) June 10th, 2008

especially in the bar & party, I wonder u how to start a talk and what to talk about?

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10 Answers

phoenyx's avatar

I was watching my daughter for a bit before work today. A woman was walking down the sidewalk past our house. My daughter ran over to her: “Hi. My name is name. I really like your dress.” They chatted for a few minutes and then the woman left.

It seemed pretty effective: introduce yourself, give a compliment, ask some questions to discover common interests.

bridold's avatar

I agree with phoenyx, the best way to start a conversation is by giving a compliment and introducing yourself. From there you kind of guage what type of person they are and what their intrests are and develop the conversation that way. The hardest part is overcoming fear of rejection. But what’s the worst that could happen if you open with a compliment? (Preferably something uninsulting, especially if you’re approaching a girl. I wouldn’t go for saying, “Hey, nice rack, my name is so and so”)

Now that I’m married, its a hell of a lot easier for me to approach people in clubs/bars/parties – I’m the perfect wingman.
For example my friends were checking out this guy saying he was the hottest looking guy there. So, I brought them with me, approached him and his friend and flat out told him he was the best looking guy in the club that night. When I went to turn and leave right after, he grabbed my arm and started talking to me. I then excused myself to go to the bathroom and my friends ended up staying and talking to him and his friends the rest of the night.

DeezerQueue's avatar

In a bar or at a party it’s much easier to strike up a conversation because everyone has shown up to have a good time. You can tell, however, if in a bar someone is taking their sorrows out for a swim.

You just put one foot in front of the other and when you get there, you introduce yourself, ask them if they’re having a good time, talk about the weather, or whatever strikes your fancy. Don’t walk over expecting to make a lifetime friendship. Walk over, instead intending to meet someone knew and you can say that, too. Make it a goal at the party to talk to three new and different people. Topics can range from anything and everything as long as they’re neutral. Don’t be overbearing with your opinions and listen to what they’re saying, as well. Ask questions that indicate that you’re listening.

Many people feel awkward in this situation, maybe as awkward as you’re feeling and it’s all right to say that, it sometimes helps to put the other person at ease. “I never quite know what to say in the beginning, asking about where you live and what you do seems a bit personal, and I might seem a bit clumsy at this, but I’d like to start meeting new people.”

Sometimes being completely honest is the best way to go, it makes you seem more human to them.

Bri_L's avatar

I make a self depreciating joke. Or just work with the situation. If its a football party work to establish their level of expertise. If it is a summer barbaque, what are they looking forward to or what have they done? Just take something of the situation and see how you can make it about them.

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

I normally make it obvious that I’m a little awkward and I’m a little open to try to get the stranger to let their guard down a little. I don’t make fun of myself usually, but I’ll admit something that maybe you wouldn’t normally admit when first meeting someone. I don’t want anyone thinking they have to be cool or impress me or anything like that. People are so much more interesting with all that nonsense out of the way.

Optimism101's avatar

Just be yourself, at a bar I tend to order a drink and taste it then I ask the person I was eyeing how theirs was/is. From there you just keep it going, you know what you like but you are tring to see what they like,so if they come up with something you arent familiar with ask them to elaborate, if that doesnt work ask them if there are interested in the stuff you like.

marinelife's avatar

I think it’s important to remember (as these posts all indicate) that everyone you think about approaching is also wondering how to make connections and feeling a bit awkward.

I personally am not real open to compliments as a starter. I think a general comment on the music, the noise level, the size of the crowd or something else about the event following your introduction would be better.

I also think the best way to meet people is to listen carefully to hat they say. If you act interested in them and what thye say, then they will be interested in talking with you.

Notreallyhere's avatar

What Optimism said has worked for me. I agree.

stephen's avatar


everyone you think about approaching is also wondering how to make connections and feeling a bit awkward

couldnt agree any more!

ninjaxmarc's avatar

how you doing?
my name is marc
what’s yours?
nice to meet you
offers my hand.

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