General Question

brown_eyed_blonde's avatar

What can I say to cheer up my jobless friend?

Asked by brown_eyed_blonde (90points) March 31st, 2013

He’s been graduated for a couple of years now and can’t find a job. I’m in the same position but I’ve been doing freelance work while I’m looking.

He posted a Facebook status today about it and he seems down and I want to say something that will cheer him up but I don’t know how… :(

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13 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Honestly, I think it would be hard to say anything without seeming to trivialize the situation. Anything that begins with “I’m sure…” or “At least…” is probably going to sound wrong. Lack of cheer isn’t his problem.

Maybe the best thing is just to say you know it’s hard (but not that you know how hard it is, unless you do) and you hope he can keep looking without getting discouraged. Even with things the way they are, people do find jobs.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Tell him to work his contacts. Most of the time the way to fid a job is through the people he knows.

Bellatrix's avatar

If you can encourage him to look for freelance work as you are doing too. If you are having succes and he isn’t, are you doing something differently? It may be you will find more permanent work from the freelance work you do. If nothing else, it provides you with more contacts to mine for potential future work. As @Adirondackwannabe said it’s often ‘not what you know’ but ‘who you know’ that lands you the job.

marinelife's avatar

Ask him if he has considered free lance work. Give him some names and numbers to call.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I don’t get why new graduates are jobless for years. Now, it very well may take that long to get a good job using his degree, but he could certainly get a job in the meantime. There’s no reason to be completely out of work still, especially if you have a college education.

Maybe he needs a for-now job to occupy his time.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

What line of work is he in?

chyna's avatar

It is hard to find a job now, whether you are a recent graduate or have been in the job market for years. I know, I’ve been there.
You can help by passing on jobs you have heard about outside the scope you know he is looking at. For example, if you know he is looking on Monster on a daily basis, don’t point a job out to him that he has probably seen on that site. But if you find something he may not have any knowledge of, send it his way. But don’t badger him about it. Other than that, be his friend and listen when he wants to talk.

Jeruba's avatar

@livelaughlove21, that might be a little too much of a generalization. Aren’t you suggesting that the person is being too picky? That might be true in the beginning, but people will make a lot of compromises when they face losing their cars and their homes and not having enough to eat. And once that happens, the odds against you just get greater.

In my area I know far too many people, from recent graduates to professionals with outstanding resumes, who’ve gone a year or two or three without being able to find work that they’re qualified to do. It’s not just a matter of being unwilling to take a job that uses less than their full set of skills. Have you ever been out there looking and met rebuffs on all sides because you’re “overqualified”? Try being a software engineer, a lawyer, or a Ph.D. applying for a blue-collar job.

pleiades's avatar

Friends don’t want to be told what to do by other friends especially. Unless they ask you specifically. And I mean specifically specifically not on an open forum post. All you can do really is take your buddy out for a drink, for lunch, dinner, you know, something “normal” to let him know he’s alive or something. Inspiration has it’s way of finding people after a good time no matter how simple or “normal” an outing is.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Inspired_2write's avatar

Ask him what you could do for him?
Take an iterest in his stories etc
When someone becomes unemployed it is a chance to reevaluate their goals in life.
He should take this opportunity to find out “What he really wants” in life besides money.
There are many of us who have spent a lifetime in jobs/careers that we really did not want in the first place.
Remind him of that fact.
He now has this time to determine the rest of his life.
The loss of his job in the future will seem like a godsend later,that perhaps gave him the nudge to move onto other areas to persue.
In short..a Positive .
He will find his destiny career suitible for him soon.

Response moderated (Spam)
redheaded1's avatar

Trust me, there is nothing more demoralizing than being jobless. It’s just hellish for your ego, relationships, morale, self-esteem, and your friendships too.

Find a sincere and non-obvious way to say that you believe in your friend and he should keep on trying to believe in himself. That is the one and only thing that will keep him moving, dreaming, growing and striving.

It’s corny, it’s awkward, it’s schmoopy, but it’s the essential thing.

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