Social Question

bookish1's avatar

Does anyone actually enjoy first dates?

Asked by bookish1 (13159points) July 1st, 2013

Just wondering if people feel differently about this than I do. Realized today that I can barely remember my last “first date,” because I was so nervous.
I prefer the second and third dates… once we’ve realized that we have things in common and are interested in each other. But the first date can be nerve wracking or awkward.
Do you enjoy the first date? If so, why?

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16 Answers

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’ve had one real “first date” – and it wasn’t with my husband. My first date ever was with a guy named Jesse. It was all very cliche – he picked me up, met my parents, took me to meet his, took me to dinner and a movie, gave me my first kiss, and drove me home. I don’t remember it being all that awkward (aside from him holding my hand in the movie theater through the entire movie), but I don’t remember it being all that fun either. My husband and I never really had what one might consider a first date.

bookish1's avatar

@livelaughlove21 : Wow, Jesse was really doing everything by the book, huh? :-p

mrentropy's avatar

I’ve only ever had first dates :(

Anyone I’ve been in a relationship didn’t really start with a date.

jca's avatar

@bookish1: Didn’t you just sleep through your last first date?

bookish1's avatar

@mrentropy & @livelaughlove21 : How did you relationships begin without going on a date initially? Just casual hanging out?

@jca: Haha, no, that was more like my…. tenth date or so. I’ve been seeing a lot of this guy. We had our first date about a month ago now. I was just thinking today that I was so nervous on our first date that I couldn’t even remember what we talked about, even though we stayed out for about 6 hours.

mrentropy's avatar

@bookish1 Yep. It starts out that way, just hanging out with a group of people or just meeting for coffee. Not something that either of us consider a date. Then we realize, “Hey, we’re going out together.”

I’ve never been on an actual date more than once, so I tend to enjoy them since I’ll never see that person again.

tups's avatar

There’s not much culture for dating here, so I’ve only been on a few first dates. I do find them awkward and I’m easily nervous. I just like things being calm and casual and first dates aren’t that.

Ron_C's avatar

I haven’t had a “first date” since I was 17. I’m 66 now but seem to remember having fun on first dates. The fireworks usually happen in subsequent dates and continue until you find the right one. I’m still with her so I think the first date went pretty well.

JLeslie's avatar

I agree it can be nerve wracking, but the height of the nerve wrack is 5 minutes in when you know it isn’t clicking. At least for me that is when it gets really bad. I remember my first date with my husband very well. We had met at a dance club, but our first date was dinner out at a restaurant. It was great. All sorts of great connections, the most memorable was we both ordered Coke with no ice with our meal. LOL. After he dropped me off I was practically skipping I liked him so much. The problem with dating is only about 1 in 10 first dates are worth going out on a second date.

Mariah's avatar

I’ve enjoyed my first days just fine, especially with my current guy. We were lucky enough to be pretty good friends prior to ever going on a date, which helped.

janbb's avatar

So far – I’m finding they run the gammit from somewhat awkward to surprisingly pleasant. i haven’t had any real clunkers yet but then there haven’t been too many.

Headhurts's avatar

I never had a first date with my boyfriend. We were work colleagues. He would come down and start chatting to me at the end of each day. I would go home later and later. Them he would drive me home, then I went to his after work and it went on from there.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@bookish1 Yes, he did it all by the book. That is, until he went to California for the summer and had sex with another girl. Oops, wrong book!

As for your other question: My husband and I were 17 when we met. We actually “met” on a social networking site (how embarrassing), then later met in person, spent time together casually as friends, and then began a relationship thereafter. What you’d call “dating” began months later.

hearkat's avatar

When I decided to try online dating, I thought a great deal about what it would involve: being rejected and doing the rejecting; dealing with creeps that are just trying to get laid; and meeting face-to-face for the first time. I have always been painfully self-conscious, so meeting people is usually a miserable experience. I decided that I would act with any person the same way that I act around my bffs who have known me since early elementary school. I made a conscious effect to say the hell with pretense and expectations, and to let them see me as I am and decide whether they like ME, or not. Pretending to be girly or demure is something I could never live up to, and why would I want to try attracting a guy who values those attributes in a mate, since we’d obviously be incompatible? My life has changed for the better – especially my social-life and love-life – since I stopped trying to impress people.

augustlan's avatar

I’ve only had a few real ‘first dates’ (maybe 3 or 4?), but they weren’t bad. I ended up married to two of them. :)

jordym84's avatar

I’ve only ever been on one real date (exactly one month ago today) and it was an amazing one – probably because I wasn’t aware that we were on a date until later when he kissed me! We have a lot in common and had spent a few days prior getting to know each other during the festivities for our friends’ wedding, so there was no awkwardness between us. We’ve stayed in touch and have a good friendship going but, unfortunately, the geographical distance separating us is not ideal for a relationship.

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