Do you feel as though people "lose their looks" when they put on a lot of weight?
Talking with a neighbour/jerk. He was talking about his daughter-in-law and how since she put on weight, she has “lost her looks”.
I disagree. You?
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48 Answers
It’s not the weigh that makes someone lose their looks but whether they continue to take care of themselves or not.
Example… If someone gains weigh and starts looking like Honey Boo Boo’s mom…. Yes! Looks have fizzled! But if they look like Camryn Manheim, Queen Latifah or Oprah, they’re definitely still gorgeous.
Unfortunately, too many people think “looks” start at the collarbone and go downward. For me, looks start at the top of ones noggin, goes downward and inside out.
It depends on how much weight, doesn’t it? I think if people get obese, they do not look good generally.
It depends on how much we’re talking about. I’m hot at 125 pounds and hot at 150 pounds.
I disagree also. I would say it is the other way around. You might have more weight on, but actual looks don’t change. I think if someone loses extreme weight then their face becomes gaunt looking and then there is all the extra skin.
I wonder what he meant by “lost her looks”? Was he talking about her face, or just overall?
There are many people who gain weight and still retain an attractive face, while their bodies might not be considered so. (I am not saying that someone who is overweight is unattractive; simply that often [at least in America] an overweight person is considered far less attractive than someone at is at a “normal” weight or is underweight.) The people that @linguaphile gave as examples are excellent.
If he is talking about her overall appearance, I think that a lot of that perception depends on how that person dresses, grooms and carries themselves.
In my humble opinion, there are more variables than weight that determine how a person looks. My husband has gained weight since I met him and when I look at him objectively, I still think he looks good.
Some overweight people have pretty faces. I think it just depends on the person.
@tinyfaery that’s what I think. His daughter-in-law is still beautiful.
The only thing that changes for me is that when their face looks really chubby, they lose their looks.
People can put on weight and maintain their facial structure. But if they add the weight in the face or chins it doesn’t look good. If they gain so much they become unhealthy they really lose their looks.
I think it is subjective. A lot of people think I have gotten a lot hotter since I’ve lost 85 pounds and I know of a few others who don’t find me as attractive as I was when I was obese.
Most of the time it just depends on the person, as @tinyfaery said. Personally, I feel healthy is most attractive.
Anyone can be beautiful at any size! It’s how they take care of themselves! An overweight woman can look gorgeous with her hair is done, makeup and well dressed. An average size woman can look grungy if she’s not well dressed or hair/makeup isn’t done. Same for guys. It’s how you present yourself to the world.
I feel like my basic bone structure and over-all appearance suffer when I gain too much weight.
The way you say that kind of thing is important. Just because you gain weight, doesn’t mean you’re diminished in value or as a human being, or even as a lover.
A lot of chauvenistic males in my area who see women only as objects have the viewpoint that in gaining weight, women are no longer worthy of love, which is very wrong and shallow. My grandfather was like that, and although I loved him, he expected my gma to immediately lose baby weight and get back to chores. She told me she never weighed over 130lbs while pregnant with any of her six kids, to keep him happy. sad
I definitely think that I’ll look much better if I gained a few pounds.
Everyone has a “happy” weight where they feel good about themselves and hopefully that’s a healthy weight for them as well. Generally that’s when they’re most attractive as well because it’s natural.
Would be more worried about some father out there deciding that he not only needs to keep tabs of his daughter in laws looks, but needs to comment on it to others. I’m usually all for talking about just about anything, but I tried to think of a way this wasn’t creepy as hell and couldn’t come up with one. Maybe if it was in a conversation specifically about weight and appearance?
Eyes on your own paper dad, treat her like you would your own daughter.
Yes, putting on weight is unattractive and a potential sign of ill-health, stress, and/or unhealthy diet. What’s so controversial about this?
It’s less of an issue for older people, and being modestly fat may be beneficial later on in life, but not so for younger men and women, although socially worse for women.
Whether anyone likes it or not, women are judged by their looks, which includes women judging each other and themselves, and spending billions every year preening themselves so they can actually look better than they really are. There’s the usual evolutionary psychology explanations for why this is, but I won’t bore you all with that.
Of course some people’s tastes and perceptions differ, but it’s just not healthy to put on too much weight, and I think it’s a bad idea to promote something that is inherently unhealthy with slogans like: “big is beautiful” and “beauty is on the inside” and other such idealistic little banalities that make me reach for the puke bucket.
“Looks” are subjective. If someone is attractive to me and they gain 100 lbs, I may not find them attractive anymore. This doesn’t mean no one would find them attractive, though.
So, saying the girl “lost her looks” by gaining weight is a dick thing to say, but it’s his opinion, not a true/false statement.
My daughter is beautiful. I mean, stop traffic, stop a room beautiful. This is a pic of her at about 16. And here. And in Seattle. She was about 23 then. Since then she has put on soooo much weight. She’s still beautiful, but the extra weight blurs those sharp, distinct lines of her face that’s the hallmark of real beauty. It’s just not quite the same. This is my favorite picture!
I know heavy people who hate being told they have a very pretty face, or hear people say if she just lost 40 pounds she would be a knockout.
It depends how much weight I think, as others have said above. Weight can make a person look older, especially a young person. A 25 year old who is 50 pounds overweight can easily look 35.
As far as the neighbor, from what I have read, men when given a choice care more about the body than the face. So, a not do pretty girl with an amazing body probably “looks” great to most men. Women look at women very differently. Most men I know think a girl as very pretty as long as she is packaged well. The hair, the clothes, the heels, nice body, and he also will perceive her face as pretty. They don’t necessarily key into very naturally pretty in the face.
Of course pretty is subjective anyway. I think most people are attractive, but other people think very few people are attractive.
@JLeslie Most men I know think a girl as very pretty as long as she is packaged well.
hahaha, you described a ‘Butter Face’...Everything is good…but her face. Get it, get it!?!
My sister had a friend in high school that was pretty large.
She had a beautiful face and always looked her best. I really don’t think that her weight took away from her looks. That being said, its all about preference. Some men like large women, others don’t.
I’m 5’7 and weigh 115 lbs. Some people think I’m gross because I’m so thin.
My fiancé thinks I’m beautiful, but I do hear on a regular basis, “would you please fucking eat?? You’re too damn skinny.”
It just depends one what a person finds attractive.
I never heard anything like that when I was around 115, 120. I’m 5’ 7”. I would get dirty looks from heavier people if I ever passed up dessert, like at a restaurant. One time when I did that, the older heavier lady that was with us snarled, “That’s why you stay so skinny.” It was like an accusation.
@Dutchess_III I’ve gotten that a lot over the years. It’s just as insulting as being called fat. Seriously.
Did you tell that lady that snarled at you that perhaps if she skipped dessert once in a while she wouldn’t be so large?
Of course not @Katniss.
I didn’t see it as insulting as much as just being jealous which is different from an insult. I don’t think that calling a person ‘fat’ is ever done out of jealousy.
This girl is 119 lbs at 5’7”. I think she’s too thin and don’t find that type of body attractive. She wears a size 0, so she basically doesn’t even exist. However, I think most men would think that’s a fine ass body. I prefer curves on women. Then again, I don’t have sex with women so what do I know? The weight I feel good at, myself, is 130–135 lbs and I’m only 5’5”. I’m sure some people might think that’s chunky, but any smaller and I start looking sick. It all depends on how you carry your weight as well.
@Katniss “It’s just as insulting as being called fat. Seriously.”
That’s probably because you’ve never been called fat. I’ve been called both before, and fat definitely felt worse.
They admire, maybe envy, your control for passing up dessert. But, what they don’t understand is that for many thin people it isn’t really a matter of control, they just only eat when they are hungry, and by the time dessert comes they are already full. Or, they don’t crave fatty sweet things. Rosie O’Donnell tells a story about when she was dating her girlfriend who is quite thin, Rosie offered her a cookie at ne point and she answered, “no thank, I’m not hungry.” Rosie had an epiphany in that moment. She realized that she never thought you have to be hungry to have a cookie. I used to be like that. I didn’t eat anything if I wasn’t hungry, not even if it was something I loved. Not so much anymore, now I can stuff myself like I never would have when I was younger.
@Mama_Cakes When someone gains a lot of weight do they look different to you at all? Or, is it that you find them beautiful no matter what because you don’t focus on their outerlooks to begin with?
“She realized that she never thought you have to be hungry to have a cookie.”
I certainly don’t!
@livelaughlove21 When I was young I didn’t eat a bite over being full. The truth is I was terrified of risking feeling nauseas. I was not a stomach sick type of kid at all, except for the occasional 24 hour flu; but, a few times I ate two much and felt sick and never wanted to feel like that again. I am kind of phobic about vomiting. It served me well I guess. I didn’t overeat, I never did drugs, and I am careful about cooking food thoroughly because of it. Just feeling stuffed was so uncomfortable to me, let alone risking being nauseas. Now, things are totally different. Eventually my body adjusted to taking on more food. When I was in high school I learned to eat more. In my 30’s it got even worse.
I can’t eat when I’m not hungry either. Even if it’s cheesecake or something I love. I hate that feeling of being stuffed, too. I’ve been walking past this pan of brownies Rick made a couple of days ago. I threw a hand towel over it so I couldn’t see it! I’ve had one piece in the last 3 days. Rick has eaten half the pan. It adds up.
@livelaughlove21 – why rag on the girl in your photo? She looks healthy, strong, and able. I’d guess she’s worked and been disciplined to look that way. If she’s happy at that size why would it be better if she was a size 4, or a size 8, or whatever you find ideal?
It’s the same type of thinking as telling someone who’s built larger naturally that they need to change. It builds the same feeling that there’s a narrow “norm” everyone needs to strive for.
If you’ve felt the same judgement I don’t know why you would continue it.
@funkdaddy I used a random photo from a website featuring an unknown girl to use as an example in my response. I did not say she looked anorexic/unhealthy or that she was ugly. I said I don’t personally find those types of bodies attractive. Many many people do, however. I also never said she should change her body for any reason. I’m not sure where you’re coming from with these allegations. I’m not “ragging on” anyone and I’m sure if this girl is willing to post a half naked picture of herself along with her stats to some website about “real bodies,” she wouldn’t take offense to what I said. I’m sure she’s very happy with her body, and I’m sure she works very hard to keep it looking that way. The size 0 comment was an attempt at humor, not a serious comment. Relax, dude.
No not at all. I prefer women with curves. I think that is a personal opinion of his. Some women wear weight beautifully because they are OK with themselves and don’t equate beauty with being thin. Which is boring anyway. (That’s my personal opinion).
Skinny does not necessarily equal healthy and overweight does not necessarily equal unhealthy. I’m not talking about being excessively obese, but a bit overweight.
In college, I had a friend who was 5’8 and size 0–3. She modeled bathing suits. She lived on slices of ham and rice krispy bars… owned her own tanning bed because, in her own words, “fat people had better skin and she needed the bed to look healthy” and had a cholesterol reading of almost 300 at the age of 24.
I also had a tiny friend (5’1, 115 lbs) who couldn’t do 25 jumping jacks during a warm up or run in place for a minute- but a larger friend (5’3, 150lbs) could do 150 without losing her breath. She also could do over 100 situps easily.
I know there are overweight people who are not healthy, but it is pretty narrow-visioned to think that being skinny automatically makes someone healthy.
^ not what I was saying at all.
Sometimes but I can also think of times where I have thought that women were more attractive when they were heavier, Dawn French (British actress/comedienne) for example, before and after Don’t get me wrong, I think she is an attractive lady either way but she seems to have lost her sparkle since she lost a lot of weight and sometimes appears gaunt.
@Leanne1986 In those photos, after she lost weight, she looked older. That happens.
I agree with this: Healthy is beautiful.
What I find the most unattractive are lazy people who do nothing to take care of their bodies.
@Leanne1986 I know. when your own daughter takes your breath away sometimes…yeah. She’s beautiful. She was a beautiful baby. When I had her, my then-husband and I were in a custody battle with my oldest daughter’s biological mother, Diane. Diane would come to the house to pick Jen up for visits. We did not like each other, to put it mildly. The first time she came over, about a week after Corrie was born, she came in. I was holding Corrie over my shoulder, facing away. Diane stepped behind me to see the new baby and she gasped “What a beautiful baby!” She couldn’t help herself! For someone who wanted to find fault in anyway possible, I thought that was pretty telling. I could post pictures of Corrie all day long! At two months with sister Jen. But I won’t. Well, maybe one more Halloween when she was 10.
@Dutchess_III She is very beautiful. She has natural beauty, which I find rare. Most of us need make up to have some beauty. You do look alike.
Yes, she does. Man, when she puts on make up….just no. No make up Corrie! Not until you’re 50! Thanks…I was told I was beautiful, but I’m white, with blue eyes. Corrie has Indonesian blood in her, so she has that exotic, dark island beauty.
@Dutchess_III If I were her, I would never wear make up and I would probably pass a lot of mirrors! Do we get to see a picture of her children ( was just reading your other thread).
I have a pic of Brande at Halloween last year that I REFUSE to post online. She was, like, some Elvira bride queen, all in gothic black and with MAKE UP on! When I saw that pic (which I had snapped just before I wound up in the hospital so I don’t remember taking it) I said, “Holy shit! She’s NINE!” I will release the picture when she is 25 or maybe when she is 50.
Okay, talk about derailing my thread. ;-)
Wow. Last night I was told by a heavy person that I look anorexic. Wow. I hardly think so.
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