What would you do if your ex came back when you had a new boyfriend?

Funny how he comes around once you have a new boyfriend.
Only you can make this decision. We have no idea why he broke up with you and if he would do it again once he got you again.

No. No second chances. He sounds like a narcissist, they always come around when they are low on “supply.” Meaning, when they have exhausted all other sources or are between romances they hoover back to the exes for attention. There is no going back once a relationship has failed, rarely anyway, and if you dump your new guy for the old one that makes you a shallow little twit too.

Once bitten, twice shy.

He dropped you once, I would not give him the opportunity to do it again. Crafty bastage…I’d burn the bridge so I couldn’t wonder ‘what if?’ the rest of my life.

Seriously, you might want to just be single for a while, if you’re thinking of throwing your current boyfriend over for an ex. Maybe just date around.

We’ve had no contact since the breakup, so he doesn’t know I have a new boyfriend. Our breakup was complicated. We both made some mistakes and he had some trust issues because of bad experiences with previous girlfriends. He was one of the most genuine and caring people I’ve ever met. He was kind of shy and reserved, too, so it would not be like him to come around just to get some attention.
It’s so confusing because I like my boyfriend but it’s not like the way it was with HIM. I guess I’m not entirely over it.

I, too, had a boyfriend who wanted me only when I wasn’t available to him. Whenever I moved on and started to build a life without him, he panicked, fell madly “in love” with me, and begged me to return.

After countless false starts, I finally made him a memory. It was painful and difficult to break away, and the goodbye lasted much too long, but I was so glad when I was finally free.

Tell him to hit,the bricks. He dumped you once and lost future rights.

depends. what is your stance regarding polygamy?

Your ex is waffling around and maybe purposely playing with your feelings. At the very least, his actions have been painful and confusing to you.

You aren’t sure how much you like the new guy.

Maybe it’s time to take some time off from both of them, and think about what you really want.

There is a reason he is your ex and it would be best left as an ex. But if you really love him a lot, and are willing to face the consequences, then give it one more try.
From your explanation, I think he just seems hurt from the previous relationships. He’s worried he’ll be hurt again. You will have to prove to him that you really care. He will have to work on his trust issue because trust and respect are the foundation a relationship is build upon. He can never be happy regardless of whom he is with unless he starts trusting people.
You “might” be able to get him back eventually if he goes through some therapy and really work on “fixing” it. Once this issue is solved then you can build a healthy relationship.
Don’t forget the other guy, you will have to break up with this guy if you think you don’t like him. After all he too has feelings and continuing this relationship isn’t fair to your current boyfriend.

Regardless of whether or not you choose to give your ex another chance, I would be upfront to New Guy and cut him loose. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone just because of principle.

Hey, this really sucks. But I’m still dealing with some issues from my previous relationship. I’ve got to deal with my baggage before I’m ready to move on to anything else.

But before you go, let’s have some awesome break-up sex.

Tell your boyfriend what’s going on and how you feel. Tell him you need to spend time with your ex to see if feelings are still there or not. You won’t be able to move forward with him unless you know. And if things work out with your ex, great.

Threesome?
“There was three in the bed & the little one said…oi, fuck off, I was here first!”

Your ex will leave you again. As far as your new boyfriend is concerned, you will eventually make him into an ex. There is not even enough love there to eradicate doubt when your ex comes skulking around. That is revealing.

You have not met the right guy yet.

Well this is a depressing thread. I guess no one on Fluther believes in second chances.