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Ready4life's avatar

Should I break up with my girlfriend?

Asked by Ready4life (7points) January 7th, 2014 from iPhone

Hey guys so I am 23 years old, and I just graduated from college. I am dating a 20 year old that is going to graduate next year from the same college as me but are mature levels are far from the same. We have been dating for 2 years now and for the first 8 months we never fought and she loved spending every minute and moment with me and we have always been best friends. Then we moved in about a month ago and everything got tough but we stuck in there for the most part for 4 months without fighting too much and still found ways to make each other happy and spend time together. I was going to propose about two month ago and that’s when we starting fighting non stop, whether it was about dishes, trash, taking the dogs out, fights seemed to always occur. I have done everything I can to make her happy and stay around, I would pick her up everyday from class and take her to lunch, I loved spending time with her but I doesn’t seem like the same for her. She always seems more concerned about other peoples lives on Facebook more than ours and it doesn’t seem like she has that same love for me anymore. I don’t know if it is because maybe she feels crowded or maybe she is young and just doesn’t realize the good man she has. Either way I don’t really know what to do anymore because we live together and we share a vehicle so we are pretty much a huge part of each other’s lives. What should I do because because we have had many talks and she says sorry and I do as well but the same things keep on occurring like cursing me out over small stupid things

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10 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

If you have to ask, the answer is probably yes.

I’m not even going to read that wall of text…...

chyna's avatar

It almost sounds as if the two of you are at different phases in your life. It seems to have started when you moved in together and maybe that is when she realized you weren’t the love of her life. Even though you said you have talked many times, maybe you should have the “this relationship seems to be over” talk.
Good luck.
Welcome to Fluther.

KNOWITALL's avatar

At that age you still have a lot of growing to do. Why not take a break for a year & keep in light contact?

LilCosmo's avatar

It sounds like this relationship has run its course. Time to move on. Just because it will be complicated to break things off really isn’t a reason to stay together. Hopefully you will be able to communicate effectively enough to work out all the details in way that is fair for both of you. Good luck.

Blackberry's avatar

Hey guys so I am 23 years old, and I just graduated from college…”

Yes, you should break up with her.

No really, it’s up to you though but follow your instinct/heart/chi/aura/whatever.

ibstubro's avatar


Otherwise, unless you’re totally miserable, I don’t seem any harm in continuing the relationship for a while. It’s been on-again, off-again as far as the arguing, and that’s to be expected to an extent. Two months ago you were heading into the stress of the holidays, and it’s possible that as you seriously considered asking her to marry, you changed in some sub-conscious way that sub-consciously annoyed her. Relax and give it a bit, is my advice.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Cursing you repeatedly is NOT a good sign either btw.

Darth_Algar's avatar

I don’t think any of us can really answer that question for you. But it does sound like maybe the relationship is moving a little too fast for her. I know there’s no way in hell I would have been read to share my life with some at 20 years old (or even 23).

Kardamom's avatar

I wouldn’t put up with someone who cursed me out regularly for big things or small things. Sounds like she’s very immature and probably doesn’t love you as much as you love(d) her. She’s now stuck with you and she’s treating you like crap.

I agree with @chyna that you need to either tell her that you can’t and won’t be treated like this anymore and you are willing to go through some couples counseling, otherwise, it’s time to throw in the towel, divide up your stuff and exit this relationship. Don’t get into this business where she curses you out, then apologizes afterward. That’s like an open invitation for her to continue to treat you like crap.

Best friends don’t treat each other with this kind of disrespect either

dogkittycat's avatar

She’s at a different stage in life, she’s most likely not thinking about marriage as I am the same age as your girlfriend and bf is 24 I understand. If he were to propose right now I would have to say no. I want to graduate, go to med school and not worry about marriage. I wouldn’t say I am more engrossed in Facebook than my relationship but I certainly wouldn’t want to settle down just yet. Also if you’ve never lived together before, relax. Living styles are going to clash, you just need to work through it.

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