Social Question

elbanditoroso's avatar

Every now and then, the newspaper publishes a story so bizarre that it cries for clever and witty commentary. This may be one of those. What's your contribution?

Asked by elbanditoroso (22770points) March 7th, 2014

The story is about a man who stole $500 worth of womens’ underwear.

My take on this: “I hope the police get to the bottom of this!”

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

ucme's avatar

Victoria’s secret is out, her husband David Beckham steals knickers.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

40 pairs? I hope he has a lot of women in his life. How would you want to be in prison for this and some big dude comes up and asks what you’re in for?

CWOTUS's avatar

40 pairs @ $500? Bill Clinton would find a way to write it off against his income tax.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe – if the police are trying to find him, they may surround his house and do a panty raid..

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I love women’s lingerie but I draw the line on some that was probably on some guy. That just sounds bad.

zenvelo's avatar

I thought this thread would be brief.

I bet he thought there’d be no visible line. He just wanted some support.

bolwerk's avatar

This is barely bizarre at all. If the value is $500, maybe he expects to make even a hundred dollars reselling them.

He stole something that’s small, hard to trace, and easy to carry. No matter what he does, if he gets away with selling it, it’s pure profit – not remotely bizarre.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Reselling them! Where?! A yard sale is the best he could hope for. No pawn shop is going sell second “Hand” undergarments. Perhaps he was hoping to save on his “Stable” expenses, keep the girls looking fresh.


zenvelo's avatar

@Jonesn4burgers He might put them up for sale on craigslist by pretending to be a teenage girl selling her undies to fetishists. Could probably get $50 a pair for them, really only needs to rub them in his armpits with a bit of cheap teenager perfume.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I stand corrected. But, did you like my headline?

bolwerk's avatar

@Jonesn4burgers: I guess he could do what @zenvelo said (+5 for that), but I really was thinking a shady retailer or eBay at most. More likely he probably knows a fence.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Sounds like a fraternity prank, but there’s no point speculating. It could just as easily be a woman (disguised) who wanted but couldn’t afford quality underwear. The way life works, the crime is probably the result of a statement like, “If you loved me, you would shower me with sexy and expensive lingerie”.

bolwerk's avatar

How many frat boys have two gold teeth on top? Whoever got close enough to see the teeth evidently neglected to mention the race of the suspect, but gold teeth is not an unheard of style with urban blacks.

ibstubro's avatar

“Cops Feel Underwear Bandit on the Run”
“Cops on Lookout for Panty Pirate with Two Gold Headlights”
“Dark Knight Plunders Panty Pantry”
“Victoria’s Secret Admirer $500 in Arrears”

mazingerz88's avatar

This guy should be in the Pantyheon of Silly Criminals…

CWOTUS's avatar

This would be in the “Brief News Briefs” section of the paper – and it would be the only article. Of course, it’s an article about articles which must not be mentioned because they are unmentionables.

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