Social Question

Mimishu1995's avatar

Is it normal for friends to get into conflicts sometimes?

Asked by Mimishu1995 (14940points) May 8th, 2014

Before going to the question, I will first tell you a story as an “opening” for the topic.

I have mentioned in one of my thread that I used to have a group of friends. We were very close, always talking and laughing together, and giving each other helping hands. Well, that was before a certain training, when we were forced to stay with each other 24/7. Two of them (let’s call them A and B) began to give me the cold shoulder (well, after some incidents). After some time of trying to talk to them without success, I asked for help from the rest of the group. They told me A and B just hadn’t recovered from the incidents with me, and it’s quite normal. They said conflicts and arguments happened sometimes, among all members of the group. Even A and B fought each other sometimes…

I listened to them and waited, but still the situation didn’t look up. I thought that the friends I talked to about my problem had already sensed A and B’s exclusion of me and they only tried to calm me down.

But there are still some recent incidents happening to me that prove they are right. I have seen (and have been among) some friends who have very bad arguments with each other then make up. Someone told me conflicts are just normal part of friendship. But I’m not sure.

I’m not going to ask for any advice on the above-mentioned story. I only want to ask “Is it normal for friends to get into conflicts sometimes?”

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15 Answers

chyna's avatar

Yes. Friends and family do this.

Winter_Pariah's avatar

Yes, most definitely. My best friend from middle school and throughout most of high school gave me the cold shoulder about 4 years ago after a heated argument that resulted in a physical altercation. About 3 months ago, we started talking again liking nothing happened (we’re actually joking about the fight we had).

Kardamom's avatar

Because you are unwilling to give the details of the conflicts you have had with A and B, none of us can give you a thoughtful, thorough, answer. I suspect that something that happened between you and A and B became a problem.

Sometimes true friends have conflicts that are irreparable,most times they don’t. Even if they do, if they are true friends, usually they can work it out.

Unless you give us the details of this particular situation, there is no way in which we can determine what actually happened.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, just like all human relationships, even love relationships, conflicts are a part of life.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Kardamom I don’t need any advice on the story anymore, as it’s now the past and I have already accepted it. I only ask “is it normal for friends to get into conflicts sometimes?” The story is only some kind of “opening statement”.

gailcalled's avatar

The point of the details is to clarify the question and promote a good discussion. Your “opening statement’ make no sense here. If you don’t want any advice on the “above-mentioned story,” then please don’t mention it.

The answer to your question, as asked, is “Yes.” All relationships, except the most superficial ones, have conflicts.

Coloma's avatar

It is not the absence of conflict that makes a good relationship, it is in HOW the conflict is resolved.

Unknown quote.

Adagio's avatar

I think conflict is very normal in any kind of human relationship, but I also think we cannot simply assume that it will resolve itself, sometimes it doesn’t, no matter how hard we might try, no matter how hard we might hope it will, and that’s just life.

GloPro's avatar

Sure. Just last night one of my best girlfriends came over for dinner. We got into it because I refuse to enable or advocate her lying to her boyfriend. I just don’t tolerate lying in my life, and she lies to him for no reason. I don’t hide my feelings. We bicker about it, and then we move on. It hasn’t impacted our relationship with one another, so we both just let it go.

AshLeigh's avatar

Yes. Having a falling out is completely normal.

Coloma's avatar

@GloPro Yeah, but….if you don’t take a stand then you are condoning her lying against your own principals in a way. All of my friends have always known that I will not cover for them if they are lying/cheating in a relationship. Get your shit together and call me afterwards. haha

rojo's avatar

Yes, conflict is an ongoing part of human nature. Hell, I do not even agree with what I myself thought yesterday half the time, let alone what someone else said or did.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Thanks everyone for your answers!

Thanks @GloPro, for such a good story. I’m glad your relationship didn’t end because of an argument.

@gailcalled I’m sorry. Have to take your word next time.

@Adagio The conflict may not resolve itself, but I can hope it won’t affect the relationship much…

Berserker's avatar

Yes, I think so. In fact, I also think that conflicts help to grow the friendship truer and stronger. You get to know the person more after that, and that is a part of friendship. Knowing the good and bad and trying to work things out, and understand.

Of course, you all need your time apart with your own thoughts and alone time. This experiment or whatever sounds strange, am wondering if it was based on something other than friendship. I know it would get on my nerves if I had to spend time with a friend 24/7, no matter how much I liked them.

longgone's avatar

Yes. My best friends and I bicker quite a lot. It shows we care what we think of each other, in my opinion.

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