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ucme's avatar

What is the most scathing put down in movie/TV/literary history?

Asked by ucme (45372points) June 3rd, 2014

Read some poll on this subject in todays newspaper, but I can’t be bothered to look for the link. We don’t need that, you lot have your vast viewing experiences to call on, not to mention years of reading material.
So, which withering remark struck home with you?

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22 Answers

Strauss's avatar

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn! Clark Gable, as Rhett Butler in “Gone With The Wind.”

ucme's avatar

Apparently Gable added the “Frankly” himself, wasn’t in the book.

GloPro's avatar

“You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your house on Whore Island?” -Ron Burgundy

“Jane, you ignorant slut!”

marinelife's avatar

John Barrymore as Oscar Jaffe in “Twentieth Century”: “You amoeba!”

Seek's avatar

“I’ll use small words so you’ll be sure to understand them, you warthog-faced buffoon.” – Westley, The Princess Bride

“How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil! Come get one in the yarbles, if you’ve got any yarbles, you eunuch jelly, thou!” – Alex, A Clockwork Orange

“Looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mom’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!” – Harman, Full Metal Jacket – actually, we could probably do a whole thread from just this movie.

Berserker's avatar

@Seek That’s what I was thinking.

Hey, I like you! You can come over and fuck my sister! ’‘gut punch’’

CWOTUS's avatar

Churchill was known for some famous ones, some of them probably apocryphal.

In one instance he was speaking in public after a few drinks too many, and offended a woman listener, who publicly upbraided him with, “You’re drunk, Mr. Churchill!” He was supposed to have responded completely calmly and deadpan, “Quite so, madam, but in the morning I will shall be sober. You, however, will still be ugly.”

Another time he was introducing a speaker to an audience, and he gently but firmly put him down by introducing him as “a modest man, with much to be modest about”.

Dorothy Parker got off a good one (many good ones, I’m sure!), but one time when she and a younger woman reached an open door at the same time, the younger woman deferred to her, saying, “Age before beauty.” Ms. Parker snidely responded, as she swept through the doorway, “Pearls before swine.”

Pachy's avatar

In “City Slickers,” I love Curly’s (Jack Palance) line to Mitch (Billy Crystal):

I crap bigger than you.

ucme's avatar

@Seek & @Symbeline Yeah, FMJ is like the bible of genius insults.

I still like this one from Beeks in Trading Places, makes me laugh every time…
“Hey, back off, i’ll rip your eyes out & piss on your brain”

longgone's avatar

How is the Dowager Countess of Downton Abbey not in this thread?

dxs's avatar

“If I had a dollar for every brain you don’t have, I’d have one dollar.” -Squidward Tentacles

turtlesandbox's avatar

“He’s just a varicose dick vein.” – from VEEP

Here’s another,

“What are you laughing about Jolly Green Jizz-Face?”

Blondesjon's avatar

“Hey, shut that fucking cunt up before I come over there and fuck-start her head!”The Way Of The Gun

“I don’t wanna talk to you no more you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away before I taunt you a second time!”Monty Python And The Holy Grail

“Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”This Big Lebowski

filmfann's avatar

How is it possible that no one has mentioned Uncle Buck ?

“Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and have a subway rat gnaw that thing off your face!”

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. To pvt Cowboy

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Who’s the slimy little Communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?

ibstubro's avatar

Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets” when he says “So go sell stupid someplace else. We’re ALL stocked up here
Or something very close.

filmfann's avatar

My favorite putdown by a comedian was done by Kathy Griffin, who was trying to host a New Years Eve telecast, and was being harrassed by an onlooker.
She simply yelled “Shut up! I’m working! I don’t come to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!”

janbb's avatar

“You can’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.” from Hester Street,

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

One of my favorites is verbal and physical, and not very sophisticated. It’s from Get Shorty, Elmore Leonard & Barry Sondheim:

Bo Catlett: I’d like to introduce my associate, The Bear. Movie stuntman, champion bodybuilder. Throws out things I don’t want.
Bear: [Looking at Chili intimidatingly] I think you ought to turn around and head back to Miami.
Chili Palmer: So you’re a stuntman, huh?
Bear: Yeah.
Chili Palmer: You any good?
Bear: Am I any good?
[He turns to Bo, laughing. Chili grabs him by the balls, then throws him down the stairs]
Chili Palmer: That’s not bad for a guy his size.

livelaughlove21's avatar

From The Hangover:

Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan: Thank you.

talljasperman's avatar

From Army of Darkness…. Good . Bad. I’m the one with the gun. (shoots his clone).
Married With Children. Peg: Al did you miss me. Al: with every shot.
Also: at least my father doesn’t sell women’s shoes.

mazingerz88's avatar

You Can’t Handle The Truth-!!!

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