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15barcam's avatar

My cat was hit by a car today and I'm truely devistated. What should I do?

Asked by 15barcam (756points) October 15th, 2014

I know many people aren’t cat people, and don’t really feel any emotional attachment to cats, but that isn’t the case for me. I’ve known my two cats Taos and Whisper since the day they were born, and they truely have become part of my family.
Taos was hit by a car today, and the driver didn’t even stop. She didn’t die right away, and tried to come home. Taos didn’t make it and died in my neighbors yard. The idea that she suffered before she died makes me feel sick, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Although I love both kitties, Taos was the cat that I truely bonded with. She was as friendly as any dog and always greeted people at the door. She would cuddle and comfort me when I was sad, and slept in my bed every night. I’m really crushed that she’s gone.
Although my friends are sypathetic, I really don’t think they understand how completely devistated I am. I feel like I just lost a family member. To some people that might seem stupid, but it’s true. Im so depressed I can’t function. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over the loss of a beloved pet?

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13 Answers

Here2_4's avatar

I am so sorry for yout loss. It is vsry heartbreaking, and especially such a violent end.
I know you said she suffered, but I am guessing that she was so in shock, she thought mostly of getting home, for comfort, and healing. The thing is, her comfort was with her, in knowing she had a place where she was loved, and cared for well.
You gave her a good life. You gave her a home where she felt comfort, and belonging. She passed with those things being her reality.
You won’t get over it easily. She will always be a warm, fuzzy spot inside your heart.
What a shame the driver wasn’t more careful.
I wish there were words I could write here to stop your pain. I don’t know of any.

susanc's avatar

I think @Here2 is right. Taos knew she was loved and by whom. She was on her way home to be cared for like she was always cared for, by you. She was lucky in love, and you were lucky in love. And now, this is the terrible thing about love. This is it. When you love someone, and they’re hurt, it kills you.

So you’re going to feel very bad for awhile and you need to be loved and comforted. I would like you to think about how Taos would treat you if she were with you during this time. She would help you. Let her.

imnottellingu's avatar

@Here2_4 I also agree with you. and @15barcam I hope that your your sadness is short lived. I wish you all the best.

Araphel's avatar

From my experience, one never truly gets over the loss of a beloved pet, but the pain does fade over much time, tho you will always have a place in your heart for Taos, just know that you are with her as much as she is with you in spirit, allow her to continue to comfort you with visits of affection. I have a feeling that if cats were able to communicate, Taos would have said to you, thanks for the wonderful life.

Buttonstc's avatar

There’s a really beautiful poem called Rainbow Bridge which may be of comfort to you.

This site also has a page of resource lists by zipcode. Perhaps there might be a pet loss support group in your area.

If there’s a veterinary school anywhere in your area, they would know for sure.

Those of us who have lost a beloved pet can empathize with you. We’ve been through it also.

My favorite cat, Funny Face died very suddenly from throwing a blood clot. Even tho I got her to the vet within 20 minutes, there was nothing to be done except to get her put of acute pain so that I could deal with that brutal fact.

That site was quite helpful to me as were other sites which explained her medical condition to me. But the shock of it was so sudden. She was only 11 yrs. old so I thought i’d have her around for much longer.

But knowing that she had a happy life for 11 yrs. with only 20 mins. of pain at the very end was helpful to realize.

But whether it’s sudden or more expected in old age, it still hurts terribly.

All you can do is grieve and remember the many happy times. That, plus just avoid the type of people who don’t understand. That’s not what you need in your life right now.

Hopefully you can find likeminded animal lovers who get it.

nebule's avatar

Gosh, that’s awful. Losing a pet can be devastating…you have a right to feel how you are feeling. Regardless of others, give yourself some time to grieve…I am so sorry for your loss. I have a cat too and I can’t imagine what it will be like when we do eventually lose him. Warm hugs xx

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Comfort yourself in knowing that the little soul’s short life WAS a good one unlike so many other animals’ lives. You could plant a little tree or flowering bush in kitty’s memory and remember your beloved pet as you tend to it. Focus on keeping Whisper happy and enjoy the warm feeling of the fun memories you had with Taos that is now at peace after a good life on earth. So sorry some people have no feelings and so sorry Taos left early.

LornaLove's avatar

I truly am sorry for your loss, your sadness really comes through in your post. I know it is hard but try to move your thoughts away from the short time she suffered. Focus instead on the fun life she had with you. The mind can be that way, where it will almost ‘torture’ us and we could focus on those last few moments or hours. Perhaps busy yourself with a memories page, I know when my parents died I set up a sympathy page on a site where people could comment. I know loads of sites like this exist. Where you can share funny or cute stories about your pet as well as the terrible sadness you feel. I send you a huge cyber hug and remember sadness has its own pace.

Strauss's avatar

It seems you provided your kitty with a great life for a cat. As @nebule stated, allow yourself to grieve, regardless of others’ reaction. They just don’t understand. We do.

Pandora's avatar

My dog of 13 years passed away this February. We had to put him down because he was ill and suffering. One thing I have learned is that death is death. Even knowing I had to put him down and so I was warned, was painful. So knowing or not knowing, or being there or not being there was, and always will be painful for us. There are no magical words to make this pain you feel go away. No one will understand how you feel because we each process loss differently and our connections to our pets are as different as snowflakes.
Best way I can describe the loss is like losing a piece of your soul because they bring out the best of our loving nature.

I feel for your loss and I hope you can find a way to muster through. Unfortunately time is the only thing that will help. Try not to go to, I should’ve or if I’ve known. I’ve been there and it doesn’t help you and certainly won’t do anything for the creature you loved. No doubt Whisper will feel the loss and will need comforting as time goes by and she realizes the other Taos isn’t coming home.

I have only owned dogs but I did have a kitten for a while when I was young but we couldn’t keep it because family members had allergies. I’ve always like cats but again, the family allergies continued in my married life as well, so no cats for me. My point is that, not all dog owners, only like dogs. I love cats and they are always drawn to me as well.

cheebdragon's avatar

They sell small headstones for pets at Walmart. It might help you get some closure to have a burial.

Pachy's avatar

@15barcam, as one who is deeply attached to his cat (Sy), I feel very sad for you and can only offer you most heartfelt sympathy. :(

Also, I am shaking my fist at the cowardly motorist.

Katz22's avatar

So sorry to hear that you lost your kitty. I am a cat lover too and bond easily with them. Of course it is sad and very difficult when a pet dies. You will just have to allow yourself time to grieve. Right now it probably feels like someone just ripped your heart out and for the next few days you will probably cry a lot. Just remember that your kitty had a good life because of your care and love for it. It will take time to get over your loss. It will get less heart wrenching as the days go by. The passage of time helps to heal the hurt that you are feeling now. Special caring thoughts from me to you.

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