Social Question

wsxwh111's avatar

My mom may have cancer. What should I do?

Asked by wsxwh111 (2462points) October 18th, 2014

If you are familiar with me, you’ll know that I’m a Chinese gay guy and just came out to my parents half a year ago.
They said that it’s okay. I’m the son of them and nothing will change. They said,“Who wouldn’t love his son? Even if the son was put into prison or something, every dad will love his son. Always. ”
The day before yesterday was the day when dad told me that my mom found a tumor at her thyroid. The doctor said it didn’t look optimistic, and she should take a further test to make sure. The test will be taken in one or three weeks.
What should I tell myself if she really gets a cancer?
And what should I do?
How should I face them…
My dad was totally calm when he told me this. He said,“Every difficult thing will work out. Don’t worry about her. ” I said “You think you can handle this?” He said “Yes. So can your mom, I think.” His voice was slightly low, though. Of course.
My mom was a women like Claire in Modern Family. She seems to get a little angry usually, she’s innocent and kind, and she loves deeply.
My dad does great in getting along with people, and, though it seems that he listen to my mom a lot, actually he has his firmly or decisive opinion upon things. And he loves deeply, too.

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23 Answers

janbb's avatar

It sounds like there is a lot of love in your family. All you can do for now is be supportive of them, show them your affection and try to be helpful. Try not to worry too much but of course it is normal to worry. I am sorry you are facing this.

chyna's avatar

Having cancer is not always a death sentence and can be treated. Keep positive for yourself and for your mom. Stress can make any illness worse, so try to keep her life as stress free as possible. You sound like you are from a great, close family.
Keep us informed.

wsxwh111's avatar

@chyna Thanks. After 8 years of struggling and thinking finally I realized this and now a new “stuff” showed up..I don’t know what to say..

janbb's avatar

@wsxwh111 Life has a way of keeping coming at you but stay strong in your decision to be out. One doesn’t negate the other and as @chyna says, cancer is not a death sentence.

canidmajor's avatar

Whether or not it is cancer, this is a rough time for your family, but it sounds like you guys will hold together well. As @chyna says, a diagnosis of cancer does not mean she’ll die, but treatment can be very unpleasant. I survived cancer a couple of decades ago, when my children were young. I was very tired from the treatments, and pretty sick, so it was important to me that my family pick up the slack. People shopped and cooked for us, and helped out with little things.

Stay strong, @wsxwh111, this really puts things into perspective for you.

I wish all the best for you and your family, and I hope that your mom does well.

wsxwh111's avatar

@janbb Yeah, I will. Giving them the hope that I could still possibly be straight would just make things worse so I always told them without any hesitation that this is solid and can’t be changed. Before or after this news showed up, I think it’s the same.

Pandora's avatar

Tell them that you will help cook or clean and do any errands they need so mom can get rest and get well faster. I find people over look the daily chores moms do when they get sick. It can be a burden to be sick and feel like there are things that need attending.
My prayers are with your family. They sound like incredibly strong people. Doctors are rarely positive when it comes to cancer diagnosis. They will both need your support to get through this time in their lives. Mom will need to know you can be strong for yourself and for dad or she will worry about you and him.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Just be there, be close. Not a time for too many words, just be there sweetly and discreetly. All the best, life has a way of turning things round and things may sort themselves out.

gondwanalon's avatar

First of all just relax. Don’t get yourself all worked up. Wait for all the facts and then suggest that your Mom get a second opinion.

Anytime that you have humans doing things there will be mistakes made.

Last June I was told that I had the often deadly melanoma skin cancer. I lived with that information for a month until a second biopsy of my skin indicated that I don’t have melanoma. Also the original slides from the first biopsy were evaluated by a different skin expert who concluded that I never had melanoma.

JLeslie's avatar

Thyroid cancer is usually very curable.

Since you mention Modern Family the actress who plays the sexy Latin one had thyroid cancer over ten years ago and she is fine.

Nodules are very common on the thyroid and usually are not cancerous.

majorrich's avatar

The waiting is the worst. Once they have a yea or nay, you will be too busy helping with physical and emotional support you won’t have time to worry what to do. Here’s praying for a benign outcome.

LornaLove's avatar

Be supportive and positive also share your sadness when you can. Share with trusted friends or other people. I’m sorry you are going through a trying time and I send good vibes that all will be well and if not , I send the good vibes that you will mange and be strong.

wsxwh111's avatar

It’s nice you guys, so many guys get the back of me.
I’m very grateful.:)
I’ll try to be strong. I have to.

janbb's avatar

This is generally a good place to come for support and help.

AshlynM's avatar

Don’t panic until you get the test results back. It may turn out to be nothing. But if it is, and if caught and diagnosed early enough, it may be able to be removed. Both my elderly parents have survived some type of cancer and have remained cancer free so far. So people do survive it.

JLeslie's avatar

Sofia Vergara. I couldn’t remember her name. She plays Gloria on Modern Family. Here is a little about her thyroid cancer. She was 28 when it was diagnosed. I think she is around 40 years old now.

Also, this article talks about how certain Thyroid cancers have close to a 100% survival rate. It details some of what can be expected. It also mentions Brooke Burke who used to be the cohost on Dancing with the Stars in America had thyroid cancer several years ago.

wsxwh111's avatar

Thank god, the results came yesterday and its benign!
My mind was blind the moment I got the news!!
I think I grew a lot from this incident. I’ll try to learn to appreciate what I’ve got in my life no matter what.
Thanks a loot guys, so nice having you around!

majorrich's avatar

Hoorah! I am so relieved and happy for you both! I have been praying for you.

JLeslie's avatar

Yay! Thanks for updating us.

chyna's avatar

Great news!

canidmajor's avatar

Very glad for you and your family.
Thanks for letting us know.

chinchin31's avatar

Seriously look into raw vegetable juice fasting. IT cures alot of things. She should do it for 60 days. I am not joking. Alot of people are coming to realise the health benefits of doing it. It cleans your system out.

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