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ZEPHYRA's avatar

Is it boredom, lack of fulfillment or certain jellies that have driven other jellies out of this part of the ocean?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (21499points) February 24th, 2015

What are the two main causes that send jellsters swimming away furiously? Does the site no longer please them or is the nature of some jellos so condescending that they are sent away?
What makes them go? What would send you swimming away?

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39 Answers

janbb's avatar

No one answer predominates, I imagine different things for different people. I often wonder why I stay. Encounters with certain Jellies at times ruffle my feathers for a bit (and I imagine I theirs) but then I usually just avoid them for a while. I think if I ever do leave it will be because it has become too consistently boring or stupid.

ucme's avatar

Not true in every case, of course, but a healthy proportion quit because they take this shit way too seriously.
Calm the fuck down, it genuinely means bugger all in the grand scheme of things.

ibstubro's avatar

I think boredom and lack of fulfillment are basically the same, and the biggest drawback at this time.

Regardless of the original intent of Fluther, it’s now a social site and (for the most part) the questions that garner a lot of answers are the social and gaming questions.

People tend to be drawn to Fluther because they think it’s a question and answer site. Often they ask a question and get few responses because they are “unknown” and suspected “spam”. The answers the do receive likely focus more on sytax, spelling, grammar and snark than on the actual question.

Honestly. Fluther is a mess for the new user. They ask or answer a question and see a lot of up-tight editing, in-house bantering and snark rather than answers. I don’t think newbies have a clue what’s going on and just leave.

Mostly the heritage jellies seem to leave because there will be a holiday slowdown or another glitch that brings traffic to a halt and they’re bored shitless.

It’s like trying to carve a niche in a broom-straw with intermittent winds.

thorninmud's avatar

Most of us are attached to this place because of the sense of community it offers. That only works if you can somehow see a viable place for yourself within that community.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you see a lot of like-minded people who give you lots of positive affirmation; there are people whose place in the community is as Contrarian or Chief Button Pusher. That’s actually an important role, and it’s a good thing that we have people who are tough-skinned and stubborn enough to occupy that niche.

For the majority, though, if you feel that the rejection you’re experiencing outweighs the affirmation, you’re likely to conclude that your tiny stake in the community is going to cost you a lot in terms of emotional wear and tear. Why bother? It often comes down to this kind of cost benefit analysis. Another form of that relates to how much effort is going to be required to meet the quality standards; some people just don’t want to have to work that hard at writing.

Fluther is made up of human beings, and so this community displays all of the facets of social interaction that any other grouping of humans does. There are cliques and in-group/out-group dynamics; there are Alpha jellies and pariah jellies; there are massive upwellings of tender support and horrific lynchings. Welcome to the human race.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t think those two are the only two reasons so I wouldn’t pick any one response. The answers are as different as the various people.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Or the answer can be: they find out this site doesn’t suit their taste.

gailcalled's avatar

I still use fluther as a case study of Group Process. (See @thorninmud). Plus, I enjoy guessing what some answers will be as they are being typed. I have a small cadre of close friends here now for which I am grateful, also.

Another classic typo…‘the nature of some hellos”..afforded me my morning laugh. Thanks.

Coloma's avatar

I’m here for the long haul, I really enjoy fluther, however, awhile back I had some fluther drama with a person that was impersonating me by using my pets name and harassing me in questions and deliberately mocking and baiting me, as well as refusing to give up the ghost. Had this situation not been resolved I was fully prepared to take my leave. I would never leave over a spat with another member, but in this particular case I was not going to roll over and allow this jerk to dog me. Had the mods not eliminated this mysterious jackass I would have moved on.

Once I make up my mind to move on there is no going back. Otherwise, it is impossible to say why others leave without directly asking them. I think in the majority of cases people leave over unresolved disputes within the pod, between members, or they just drift away as jellies often do. haha

gailcalled's avatar

Speaking of types, although this was spell-check, I was trying to type “jellos“and kept getting auto-corrected to “hellos”.

janbb's avatar

^^ Wondered if that was the case. I thought the use of “jellos” in the question might have been intentional.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think most people have left because of unrelenting attack by certain Jellies.

Judi's avatar

I’m sticking my toes back in. My honest reason for leaving was that I didn’t feel I was contributing anymore. I hate to admit this but the Lurve system is an indicator of how valuable people see what you have to say. When people stopped seeing what I had to say as valuable I had no reason to be here.

Coloma's avatar

@Judi I miss you!!!
I was wondering where you got off too!
Please hang around.
Screw lurve, it doesn’t mean what one says is always valuable, it can also be for sheer verbosity and length of time here. I’m thinkin’ that’s mostly me these days. Babble and time. lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

I left when one particular Jelly, who I’d always counted on as a friend, got infected with the Mean Jelly Virus in one particular question, and turned on me. Had two others attacking and she joined in. It was shocking.

Judi's avatar

@Dutchess_III , It wasn’t me was it?????

Dutchess_III's avatar

No. :D I don’t really remember who it was, but we’re back on track now.

Aethelwine's avatar

I tend to let certain jellies drive me away at times. It’s often because they have a habit of kicking me when I’m already down. Who wants to put up with that? Not me.

luckily it hasn’t happened in a while.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@jonsblond ” they have a habit of kicking me when I’m already down.” I know, right?

Aethelwine's avatar

@Dutchess_III We’ve done it to each other, but look at us now. ;)

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Judi Yay you are back, hope you had a relaxing break!

JLeslie's avatar

My guess is the top three reasons are some jellies are a pain the fucking ass, and sometimes downright mean.

Some leave because the addiction is interfering with home life.

Lastly, I think some leave because the topics that interested them aren’t coming up much anymore.

Just guesses.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I left because of personal reasons. I came back because I missed the site and some of the people here, but a huge chunk of who I was familiar with weren’t here anymore.

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stanleybmanly's avatar

To me the inevitable personality clashes aren’t nearly as upsetting as the feeling that the questions and topics here grow ever more inane. This place may be preferable to hanging out in bars, and there are terrific advantages here compared to the pitfalls involved with interpersonal social obligations, particularly when it comes to how quickly social obligations can ramp up and get out of hand. I often get a queasy feeling that the talent here is melting away, and it’s a distressing thought. Of course there must be a multitude of reasons why folks move on, but there are days when I peruse the stuff here, and wind up thinking the best and the brightest might well have decided there is no longer a reasonable response to the nagging question “Why am I wasting my time?”

Dutchess_III's avatar

I know @jonsblond. It’s a miracle!

dappled_leaves's avatar

I’m glad to see you back, @Judi. Lurve schmurve..

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think some Jellies answer questions with the intent of belittling the asker, calling the question dumb, nit picking and criticizing, rather than to honestly answer the question. I think that is the main reason some have left.

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III Yes, my favorites are the ones that get mad when your answer is not what they want to hear.
Gee, sorry I like onions and you don’t, feel free to attack me now based on answering a question about onions. lol

ibstubro's avatar

I think there is a contingent of jellies that consider it ”fun” to belittle by nit-picking or criticizing questions and answers, rather than participating (or not) in the discussion.
The intent is to derail discussion.
The intent is to derail discussion.

Repetition intentional.
Think about it.
“What fun!?”

cockswain's avatar

Sup? Been more than a year since i looked at the site and just remembered its existence while killing some time. I found this question and figured I’d chime in. I guess in my case I just lost interest. When i found the site, i was undergoing a lot of religious and political change, and founf this to be a great place to discuss/vent/rant on those subjects. I also enjoyed the act of writing and found a lot of terrific humor and sharp-witted folks on here too. Eventually I didnt see as many interesting questions, saw a lot of interpersonal drama that was distracting or petty, and also got very busy. I also rarely use a keyboard anymore, and am typing this whole thing with my thumbs on an ipad. I guess fluther just fell off my radar, but in perusing the site today im glad to see ucme and many others are still around. sadly, it looks like there is way less activity than when i left, so i guess it is unlikely it will be what it once was. Best wishes, cockswain.

cockswain's avatar

I guess another thing is i just lost interest in communicating in social media in general. Like i rarely post on fb compared to back when i was active on here. I still enjoy reading the contributions by others, i just seem to have lost the urge to communicate my opinion on any given topic or event. I talk about it with my wife or friends in person if i feel a need to talk about it, and that seems to suffice.

Not sure why i even posted this, since in reviewing it sounds kind of self-absorbed. I guess i mainly just felt like reaching out to say hello to all you fine folks.

Berserker's avatar

Whoa hey, I remember you. Welcome back.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@cockswain I remember you, too. I miss the big political and religious discussions. Those were some good talks.

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Inspired_2write's avatar

A busy life is what keeps most off the site.
I am sure that they return when their projects are completed.
I just finsihed a Phto/Book on my fmilies History.
That took quite awhile to finish and now taking a breather before Istart the next one.

ibstubro's avatar

Haven’t there been several thousand members that were active on Fluther? @Inspired_2write

99.6% of them temporarily became too busy?

Aethelwine's avatar

@ibstubro Yep. That’s life.

Inspired_2write's avatar

@ibstubro
I just gave a simple reason for SOME, not all Jellies.

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