Social Question

jca's avatar

What are your personal guidelines on lending money to people you know?

Asked by jca (36059points) April 18th, 2015

I know people always say “don’t lend an amount you can’t afford to lose” because when lending money, it’s possible you’ll never get the money back.

If people ask you to borrow money, what are your personal guidelines (if you have any or can think of any) and criteria for lending money to them? What amount, what you expect as far as when you get it back, if payments are acceptable instead of the whole thing at once, etc.

I’m not asking for any particular reason, just curiosity.

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17 Answers

Uasal's avatar

I never lend books or money. If I have it to give, then I will give and gladly. More than once someone was willing to do the same for me, and it made a huge difference in my life.

Judi's avatar

I rarely lend money. if I do, I convince myself ahead of time that I won’t get it back. Relationships are way more important than money.

Darth_Algar's avatar

I never lend money. If I have the money and I like the person well enough then I’ll give them the money. If they pay me back, cool. If not then I’ve lost nothing I was not willing to lose.

longgone's avatar

Small amounts (< $70) I lend to family and friends all the time. I expect to get my money back no later than a few weeks, I suppose. I’m okay with having to remind people, and I’ve never had any bad experiences.

I haven’t ever lent anyone a huge amount of money. That’s mostly because I don’t have a huge amount of money to lend.

gailcalled's avatar

I tried it once and got burned badly. Now it’s either a gift or nothing,

Coloma's avatar

I have lent money to my daughter and one friend twice.
Smaller amounts to my daughter I just gifted, and both daughter and friend had a clear cut plan to repay. The friend borrowed 10k for 2 months and paid me back $10,900 with interest, their offer. It was a pretty good deal for us both. They got to use my money for something important prior to them having some liquidity and I was paid 10% interest on a short term loan.
I prefer to gift money rather than lend myself but no worries for me anymore since this recession wiped me out. haha

Dutchess_III's avatar

Mmmm. Only my kids borrow money, and it’s mostly my middle kid who borrows. But she finally has herself on her own two feet. Anyway, I “lend” it if I have it, and don’t think about it any further. My daughter was so embarrassed when I changed my ATM PIN number to the last four of her SS! LOL!

Berserker's avatar

The only person I lend money to is my roommate. She always gives it back when she says she will, and if she can’t, she always tells me in advance. Thing is she’s always out of money, and borrows 20 bucks almost once a week. But she always gives it back. This has been going on for years literally, and I don’t mind at all. Of course, it’s in her interest to do so, because if it happens that she doesn’t give it back, I won’t lend her any more.

Otherwise I’m pretty severe with lending cash to others. The neighbor upstairs is always trying to bum shit off of me. Money, smokes, and weed from my roomate. But we cut her off because she gives nothing back, or very rarely. And there’s always some fucking story or excuse that lasts forever if you don’t stop her. Gah. I give her smokes sometimes, but that’s it. But never any money, because I’ll never see it again. She just lies and lies, and it’s insulting not because she’s bullshitting me, but because she thinks I believe it.

whitenoise's avatar

With my friends I lend and borrow money. In all honesty in general they’re small amounts and they are rarely paid back.

Sometimes I have a friend or acquaintance that needs to borrow substantial money. In general I lend that without ever expecting it back.

ibstubro's avatar

If I know them well enough for them to know the amount of cash I have in the bank and they ask for it, I pretty much loan it to them. I woman that I knew only from tanking breaks with her at work once called me (she had to have gotten the listing from the book, as we’d never talked on the phone before) and said, “If I don’t have $10,000 by this Friday, I’ll loose my house. Will you loan it to me?” “Yes.” Her husband was sick and I knew her daughter slightly better than her. She knew I had it, what kind of a heartless bum would tell her “No.”?

After a short while she stopped mentioning the money, and I started to worry. Finally I asked her about it, and she said her husband was getting a big settlement, and when they got it I would be paid in full. Eventually, I was. Thank my lucky star.

As far as borrowing, I don’t remember a time when I borrowed more than $100, and that was under-24 hour emergency money. Like running short of cash at a flea market or yard saling. I’ve never carried a bank loan more than 5 years.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I sometimes lend money, but he amount of money I lend is always so small that it feels awkward to ask it back (seriously, who asks for some 3 cents back?)

However, I’ve witnessed a lending process of a really large amount of money between two strangers. Long story short: my BFF’s family was in financial crisis, and it was nearly school year (they demanded school fee on the first day, along with some other God-know-what “fees”). She complained about it to me, and I helped her by asking for help from a teacher whom I had intimate relationship with. At the appointed day we came to met her at a place. The money needed was some thousand dollars. Before giving the money, she drew a paper, and wrote something like this:
On d/m/y, I, <my BFF’s name, which she had to write herself>, agreed to borrow <number of money> from <my teacher’s name>, on condition that I have to pay all the money back within the deadline of d/m/y.
I am fully responsible for what I said above.
Sign <my BFF’s signature>.

My teacher kept the paper and lent her the money. She paid all back in due time.

gondwanalon's avatar

I’m a total sucker for a sad story. And nearly every time that I’ve lent people money I’ve been burned. I’ve loaned $5, $10. $100, $2000, 25000, $85000, $350000 and have kissed all good bye. Never again will I lend ANYONE a dime.

A long time ago there was a guy at work who borrowed $5 twice from me and never paid it back. A couple months later he asked me to loan him $5. I asked him, “What about the other two times that I loaned you $5?”. He asked, “What other $5?”. Then I said, “THAT is why I’m not loaning you $5”. He never spoke to me again. HA!

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Two rules.

1. Don’t.
2. Do, but have no expectation of ever getting the money back.

wsxwh111's avatar

There’s a saying here: “Lend for emergency, don’t lend for poor.”
I think if it’s really an emergency and it does matter a lot, I’ll lend to him/her.
Or when I know he/she’ll pay it back for sure.
I have a classmate who always borrow money from others at the end of the month, the amount is like ¼ of the money he has for a month. But he always pay back at the beginning of the next month when he gets the money.
Not a huge fan of that, and I wouldn’t do that, but sometimes I lend to him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Um, I need some money @gondwanalon! I really want to get my house paid off. Please please please please! Sobbing and crying….

Inspired_2write's avatar

True giving is not expecting it back.
But one does not put oneself in dire straits in the process, so if one can afford to loose it then by all means give.
One day you may be the one needing help.
Depends on the situation and the amount.

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