Would you think up a brief but funny reply to tell my doctor today?

No thanks dealing with one prick today is enough.

FUNNY!

….I got nothing. There is nothing there that I can see that lends itself to humor. I’d just say, “OK.”

“No thank you.”

Why be a smart arse?

Yeah I too cannot see why you’d want to call your doctor a prick.

The flu shot is safe and is forecast to be highly effective this year.

Well, but it’s her prerogative to decline it. I guess I kind of don’t understand why she wants to come up with something funny.

Why alienate your doctor? Just say no thank you. You don’t have to tell him why, or justify your decision, or explain your reasoning. You still have the right to refuse medical intervention.

Well, I can think of a funny remark for the doctor to tell you that you’re an idiot for not having a flu shot.

“I need a flu shot like I need a hole in my arm.”

“Like a fish needs a bicycle.”

“I already have a second opinion on that.”

“No thanks, as a woman of a certain age I’m aware that I’m at increased risk for catching the flu, and am four times as likely to develop serious, life threatening complications. Since my husband is currently in his convalescence due to a dramatic bone breakage during a hospital stay and at increased risk himself for a life-threatening infection, I thought it only fair that we should try to die together. I’m a romantic like that.”

No thanks, I prefer to give my health a shot in the arm!

“TIA”? What does your Colombian aunt have to do with this?

The flu virus is easier on my body than the flu vaccine.
Or
The flu vaccine dose more harm than good.

“I disbelieve in modern medicine and believe that the best place to get advice regarding my health and well being is from the Internet”

There’s no need for a shot. My magic 8 ball protects me.

Oprah says I don’t need it

My dog told me that shots are useless and merely another excuse to enrich pharmaceutical corporations

I can only tolerate a shot if it is preceded by healthy doses of vintage champagne, and I’m alleregic to the domestic crap.

I would like to get a shot, but my heroin habit has left me without a single useful vein.

My religion only allows vaccinations on the 29th of February.

Only my man servant is permitted to touch me.

I don’t know what to say to your doctor, but if your life was a movie it would be “One FLU over the Cuckoo’s Nest”

Get the shot.

Can’t you bake my dosage inside a nice 3 layer coconut cake?

Explain that you are a thrill seeker and sky diving doesn’t do it for you anymore.

You could make a series of extreme GoPro vids for Youtube. For example, “Day 35 with no flu shot: touching public doorknob and licking my finger.” Make sure to include a WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME screen, dubstep audio and intense slow motion of your hand making contact with the doorknob right when the bass drops. In the style of the crane hang videos.

“Germs don’t mess with me. I scare them.”

Sorry, can’t help you. I don’t think there’s anything funny about risking the flu.

Just say you don’t want it. If he starts the lecture, then tell him you appreciate the information, but still prefer to decline. Unless you change your mind of course.

@JLeslie It has to be funny!

^^Sorry, I wasn’t in a good mood when I answered. Maybe something will come to mind. I’m flattered you focused only on my not funny answer. I’ll take that as you appreciate my sense of humor. Even if you don’t, I need a boost today.

Tell your doctor you don’t want it as you already have bird flu. If he asks how you know just say you’ve been feeling peckish all day.