General Question

SuperMouse's avatar

Do you have a friend who is a bit trying?

Asked by SuperMouse (30837points) July 25th, 2008

You know the ones I mean, lots of drama, always money issues, family issues, lots of talking them off the ledge. How do you handle this type of friend? Have you ever been forced to cut loose one of these friends?

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14 Answers

Magnus's avatar

Don’t lend any money to your friends, it only causes problems. Be there as a friends, not as money support.

richardhenry's avatar

I absolutely agree with Mangus. A friend once borrowed £100 off me, and it took forever to get him to pay me back. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t afford it. Sucks to be asking if someone has enough money this week, or that week. It was ridiculous. I eventually gave up, and he still owes me about £80. (We don’t really speak anymore anyway.)

whiteowl's avatar

I have had a situation like you do now.
I just sited my friend, told him to shut up and explained that all him problems come from her!
I explained that there are situations much worth then his.
To make a long story short i just putted him down to the earth! Stop supporting his self-pity moods!

wildflower's avatar

None that I consider friends have those characteristics. Probably because people like that do not appeal to me and I won’t spend enough time around them to become friends with them.

whiteowl's avatar

Thats not correct! any person can have this life situations from time to time….
When you want nothing and all fails… so better be nice to receive support when you will need it.
Exception is when person lives with this mood!

wildflower's avatar

I’m well aware that we all hit downwards spirals from time to time (I know I do!), but as I understood the question, we’re talking about the kind of person that consistently has issues, money problems, lots of drama and require constant focus on them and the issues and bad luck that seems to follow them around. And I don’t become friends with people like that because I will never feel that they know me, because I will never open up to them, whether that’s due to there not being an opportunity between all their problems and drama or just because I’m not comfortable around them – knowing how they generally react to anything non-honky-dory.
I’ve met plenty of such personalities and I will help if I can, but will not become attached or personally invested in their problematic and dramatic situations.

whiteowl's avatar

thank you for explaining…
i think that this people rare have real friend close…and they may be ‘normal’ people.
they just need this “push”.

SuperMouse's avatar

@wildflower, that is exactly the kind of friend I was talking about. In my experience these friendships begin innocently enough, but once you get to know each other better the drama begins, then doesn’t ever end!

wildflower's avatar

Once you’re confident you’ve done your part to help them, I think you’re perfectly entitled to keep yourself busy with activities that don’t include them.
No friendship can survive if there isn’t support in both directions.

whiteowl's avatar

:)) you talk just like my x-BF.

wildflower's avatar

umm….ok (?) – I’m not him though, I can assure you.
I believe in fair chances and reasonable attempts, but not suffering for no good reason.

whiteowl's avatar

It is understandable that you are not him LOL
But you might be his sister LOL :) kidding

alialiali's avatar

i am one of these friends. it hurts to be let go.

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