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JLeslie's avatar

What do you think about highlighting couples who have been married a long time at a wedding reception?

Asked by JLeslie (59822points) February 27th, 2016 from iPhone

The recent wedding questions reminded me of when the daughter of a friend of mine asked me what I thought about calling couples up to the dance floor according to years married. Similar to how you call the parents to the dance floor once the first dance begins, this would be honoring couples attending who have been married 50 years, 40 years, etcetera. I told her the truth, I wouldn’t do it. I don’t like the idea.

What do you think about it? Please explain why you do or don’t like it. Have you ever seen it done at a wedding?

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14 Answers

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Can’t say I dislike the idea, but no I have never seen it done.
By the way how many years has it been for you? Mrs Squeeky and I are heading for number 27 this August.

ibstubro's avatar

I think it’s a great idea, as long as someone checks with all the couple’s that will be highlighted beforehand.
I also would give an alternative to the dance floor. Maybe call them to a ‘table of honor’ to preside over a dance, then let them join in if they like. They might not like to dance, or there may be infirmities.

JLeslie's avatar

@ibstubro The couples aren’t named, the DJ or bandleader just calls couples to the dance floor who have been married that amount of time. You could just have them stand also I guess. They can choose not to dance or stand or whatever if they don’t want the recognition or attention.

ibstubro's avatar

It’s just a shout-out?
I’ve seen it done, and seemed like everyone enjoyed it.

Cruiser's avatar

Statistically getting married for the long haul does not carry good odds and almost seems destined to fail from the get go so to take a moment or 2 during your reception to honor the hard work couples who have actually pulled off staying married through thick or thin could serve to be a pep talk and loving reminder for the newlyweds as they set off to notch their years together. I do not have a problem with this as I often hear cute stories of how close they came to murdering each other.

What I think is really inane are the announcements of who traveled the farthest to attend the wedding.

YARNLADY's avatar

I like that idea. We are celebrating our 40th Anniversary this year, all year long.

Strauss's avatar

@YARNLADY Congrats on 40! Good to see you back!

@JLeslie I haven’t been to a wedding in a long time, but it used to be a standard thing to do at traditional weddings.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t like the idea, because first of all it’s the newly wedded couples day, but in this case the bride wanted to do it, so you could argue it’s her day, she chooses. Secondly, there are probably a whole bunch of people attending who are divorced, possibly a widow/ widower or two who lost their spouse young, and maybe a few single people who wish they were married. Why put in their face all these people who stuck with it through thick and thin?

ibstubro's avatar

Because that’s the wish for the newlyweds, @JLeslie. That against all odds, they are the couple that gets the shout out, 40 years from now.
Even the people who have gotten divorced or lost a loved one have to remember the heady idealism of the day, and, hopefully, wish the best for the newlyweds.
It’s about the newlyweds, and the promise that their lives together holds.

JLeslie's avatar

@ibstubro The wish is they are happily ever after. Sure, I get that. I just want my guests to feel comfortable and happy the whole time at my party.

It’s not that I think people who do acknowledge the long lasting relationships are horrible, I just see it differently. I can see your point too.

JLeslie's avatar

@MollyMcGuire Why negative? I’m negative too, but I just wonder your reasons.

Buttonstc's avatar


I get what you’re saying and I had a similar reaction.

And I have a hunch that if there had been a lot of divorces/remarriage in the families of either of the newlyweds, they would likely forego this custom. And I don’t think anyone woukd miss it either.

JLeslie's avatar

@Buttonstc Not only do I feel like it’s rubbing it in to those who didn’t have their marriages last for whatever reason, but also it’s maybe a little bit in me of Jewish superstition. Don’t tell me you admire my lasting marriage, because – kenahora – you might jinx it. I certainly don’t want to brag about it. I just got through the hardest 4 years of my marriage, and we are coasting a little. Lol.

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