Social Question

StrongH3art's avatar

What is wrong with a guy having a lot of hair?

Asked by StrongH3art (229points) July 10th, 2016

I am from Africa, and I have a natural fade flat top. If you google “daniel sturridge haircut” that is the kind of hair I have. I am always being told to cut my hair. They tell me things like, having a lot of hair will get you stopped by the cops, it makes you look like a bad person, things like that. They fail to understand that my hair does not define who I am. Everyone has a style that fits them well.

People in my Church are the worst. They keep trying to force me to cut my hair. They say a man should have his cut very low. One thing a noticed is most men at my Church is bald or balding. What is worst is most cut their kids hair and fail to give them a hairline which is pushing a lot of their kids hairlines back. If the Women are allowed to have different hairstyles, why can’t we?

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21 Answers

Pachy's avatar

The eternal conundrum—to be one’s own person or to “fit in.” I’ve learned time and again in my own life that either choice can make life difficult.

Neither is completely right or all wrong—it has to be a personal decision. But one thing’s sure: always trying to please others is impossible and can never lead to true happiness.

Sorry if I sound like a fortune cookie.

Irukandji's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with your hair. The problem is that you live in a racist society that may judge you unfairly.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Male hair is often closely related to discipline; particularly military discipline. A male with short hair (military cut) is seen as a team player, one who is part of the group, one who can be trusted. This is similar to, but not exactly the same, as wearing a uniform or a tie to work.

If a male has long hair, or wears it differently than most other men, he is seen as a rabble rouser – not a member of the in-group, someone who is different. And that person is not accepted as ‘regular’ whatever that means.

This was seen frequently in the US and UK in the 1960s and 1970s when the short haired WW2 veterans were shocked at the long hair of the Beatles (and Woodstock) generations.

I don’t know specifically about Africa, but I would guess that you are being criticized by the older generation for whom hair meant ‘fitting in’ and prestige. To me, judging a person by his hair is rather empty-headed. But it’s a cultural thing.

marinelife's avatar

Absolutely nothing. It is your choice, your body.

I would respond to those people with a long stare and the question: “My hair is your business, how?”
If they do it again, I would say “Remarks about one’s personal appearance are quite rude.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

Perhaps you could take a picture of your actual hair? I recently went to a doctor who is black. It was the first time I’d seen him. I was very put off by the fact that his hair had not been cut in quite a while, and was growing unevenly. It was tufty in random spots. Maybe what you consider fashion just looks unkempt to others?

I looked at your link, and I see what you’re referring to. Well, Daniel Sturridge’s haircut looks to be deliberate. That is, it’s symmetrical. The doctor’s wasn’t. Is yours deliberate or do you just not trim it?

(Also, I don’t see how not giving a kid a pretend hairline can cause the hair line to recede..? could you explain that?)

Pachy's avatar

… and yes, keep your hair exactly the way you like it. ;-)

Brian1946's avatar

I googled Daniel Sturridge, and I think his hair looks great.

I wouldn’t consider him as having a lot of hair, at least not compared to this guy.

Is ditching that church an option for you?

flutherother's avatar

My nephew, who is white, had an enormous frizzy head of hair for years. It didn’t cause him too many problems apart from kids at school sticking pencils in it when he wasn’t looking. He stuck out in a crowd and he was making a statement. The Daniel Sturridge look is very bland in comparison.

kritiper's avatar

Having a lot of hair doesn’t make you like a member of normal, acceptable society. Having long hair makes you look too much like an independent, a non-conformist, a out cast, a rebel, a non-team player, immature. If you want to play with the big boys, then look like a big boy.

Zaku's avatar

Homophobes get defensive around it, is all.

ucme's avatar

Daniel Sturridge: England & Liverpool striker…do I get a prize for knowing him without googling?

gondwanalon's avatar

I see nothing wrong with long hair as long as it’s well maintained. You’re lucky to have such magnificent hair. Have your hair your way. It is part of who you are.

Perhaps people who want you get a hair cut are jealous. If some people don’t like your hair then that’s their problem not yours. I’ll bet that there are many more people that wish that they had hair like yours than those who want you to cut it.

I’ve never had good hair and at age 65 I’m half bald. My hair has always been thin and baby fine and looked lousy at any length. I can’t even grow a decent mustache and certainly not a full beard.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ You only get a prize if you are a Manchester United fan

MrGrimm888's avatar

A man is defined by his actions. Not his hair. If it makes you feel any better, I have a long goatee, almost a foot. Mom gave me clippers to shave it off for Xmas. Thanks Mom….
Be yourself brother.

BellaB's avatar

I’m not seeing particularly long or tall hair on Daniel Sturridge in comparison to what I see locally.

As long as your hair is appropriate for work (whatever that means in your line of work) and you’re comfortable with it, go with it.

StrongH3art's avatar

@Pachy Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. Well said, you can never please everyone. At the end of the day you have to be happy with yourself.

@Irukandji Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. That is true, people often judge others based on looks without getting to know them.

@elbanditoroso Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. That was very informative and well put. Mostly the older generation criticize my hair. The younger ones love it and tell me not to cut it. I love this particular hairstyle because it fits well with the shape of my head.

@marinelife Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. Well said, That is what I always tell them, that my hair is my business. It is not hurting or effecting me in a bad way so it should not be a problem.

@Dutchess_III Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. My hair is just like Daniel Sturridge’s. Most people call me his twin, since we look alike. I always keep my hair nice and even. As for the hairlines for the kids, their parents will cut all of their hair off leaving rough uneven spots. They don’t give them a proper hair line or if they do it is like all the way in the back. If you look Lebron James hairline it is similar to that. Our hair line is suppose to start close to the forehead. But when their parents give them one they start a bit higher up. Sorry if it is hard to understand.

@Pachy Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I most definitely will :).

@Brian1946 Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I completely agree. As for my church, I would have left a long time ago. However I’ve been there all my life and have a strong connection with the kids and youth. One can say they are the ones keeping me there.

@flutherother Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I can relate to the pencil in the hair, happened so many times. I like people who have different or unique hair. It’s a way of expressing who we are. Kudos to your nephew.

@kritiper Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I respect your opinion but would have to disagree. Our hair does not define who we are as a person. The way I see it our hair is not the issue but peoples perception of it, is.

@ucme Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I wish I had a prize to give you. Good job.

@gondwanalon Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. Sorry about issues you are having with your hair. I stopped caring about what people think. However it gets a bit annoying when I’m constantly being told to cut it.

@MrGrimm888 Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I always tell people that. Just because you have your hair a certain way, does not mean you are a certain way. I will continue being myself. thanks.

@BellaB Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I agree that my hair is not that long. In my country (Ghana) they are obsessed with short hair. However the new generation is changing that. We are embracing our natural hair a bit more.

@Zaku Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I would not call them Homophobes thou.

@Hypocrisy_Central Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Boo hoo hoo. Wear you hair any way you want to.

kritiper's avatar

@StrongH3art That is exactly correct. And who hires you and pays your wages? Better to play along than starve. My motto is: If you live in a Republican state and want to survive, look like a Republican. What is more important, to make a fashion statement or to eat? Your call.

StrongH3art's avatar

@MollyMcGuire Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. Will do :).

@kritiper Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. There is truth in what you said. Fortunately for me, I work as a Graphic Designer. We are free to wear what ever we want.

LBM's avatar

It is purely down personal preference. What is attractive to someone, may not be attractive to the next. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong wirh it.

StrongH3art's avatar

@LBM Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. I completely agree :).

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