Social Question

cinnamonk's avatar

What things were giving you grief a year (or longer) ago that are no longer a problem for you?

Asked by cinnamonk (5402points) October 4th, 2016

Based on @Hawaii_Jake’s thread about how everyone is doing, it seems like a lot of people here are currently going through a rough time. (Sympathies to all!) When I am feeling low, I find it helpful to think back on all the problems that were ruining my life a year ago and that aren’t ruining my life anymore. I find that doing this uplifts me because it reminds me about my continued improvement as I go through life and gives me a better perspective on the transitory nature of (most of) my problems. Of course, there are things that were bothering me a year ago that I still struggle with, and there are some that I expect to still be struggling with a year from now, but even these problems seem lesser now than they did previously.

For example, two years ago, cystic hormonal acne and depression were ruining my life. Thanks to some changes I have made in my lifestyle, I have been able to alleviate a lot of the symptoms of both conditions. I still struggle with them but I am a lot better off now than I was two years or even a year ago. I feel and look much better, and am generally just a lot happier now, and it feels good to be able to look back and see how far I’ve come.

Now I want to hear from you guys, which of your demons have you finally subdued?

(Btw, I’m not a new user. Just trying out a new account.)

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18 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Getting food delivery. I have a buzzer for the front door hooked up to my smartphone. I still have mild pizza delivery anxiety , but is greatly reduced from the full on panic attacks waiting for food.

anniereborn's avatar

A director who shall remain nameless. Loved the show, hated the director.
Yes, I know, not a very big problem. All the big problems from a year ago are still the same and probably will be for a very long time.

cinnamonk's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 and @anniereborn: progress is progress!

canidmajor's avatar

2015 was awful piled on top of awful for me, but I got past it all, with only some residual effects. Some things take longer than others to work out. The least of it was a systemic poison ivy infection that plagued me for weeks, along with meds and steroids. The other things will go untold, as I am wary of sharing things that would be mocked by mean people, as happened on the other thread.
The good news is that those things are better in 2016, time does help.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

It’s difficult for me to convey what my life used to be like. I used to let my mental illness rule me, until I learned there is a lot about that illness that I can control.

In the past, it was a struggle to find the motivation to brush my teeth. Today, brushing my teeth is automatic. I don’t think about it. So much of my life is that way.

I don’t look at it as a great accomplishment. It’s more a gift I give myself.

cinnamonk's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I am also still improving the way I practice basic self-care. I only recently (like in the last two months) figured out how to wash my hair the right way every time I wash it…I used to just cross my fingers and hope that it turned out okay. Actually, I still screw up washing my hair sometimes, but I’m getting a lot better at it.

cookieman's avatar

In spring 2014 my doctor told me that my diabetes medicine was no longer working well and I was likely going from type-2 to type-1 diabetes, requiring insulin shots. Then, that summer, they diagnosed me with hypotrophic cardiomyopothy, affectionately referred to as “sudden death syndrome.” It’s a heart condition. Then, to add insult to injury, I was told I had sleep apnea and they wanted me to wear this annoying contraption on my face while sleeping.

I was frustrated (I don’t drink, don’t smoke, no drugs, am pretty active). My wife was frightened. Just waiting for me to drop dead.

My doctor chalked it up to bad genes and said I should be losing weight. He had said that for years, or, more precisely, “You’re fat.”

After I stopped being frustrated and angry, (a year later) I went to an alternative nutritionist then, a year after that, I got hypnotized. And, lo and behold, it’s working.

I’ve lost about 50lbs. (I don’t really know as I’m not allowed to weigh myself), have been taken off half my meds, am no longer at risk of dropping dead, no more sleep apnea, and have lowered my hemoglobin from an 11 to a 5.2.

If I can get it to a 4, my doctor says that’s at “pre-diabetic” levels. Looking to lose another 50lbs. And I’ll be good.

I do, however, still like cookies. I just don’t eat them at the moment.

cinnamonk's avatar

@cookieman wow, that’s awesome! What is alternative nutrition, exactly?

jca's avatar

A year ago my mom was going for cancer treatments and I was very worried about her health. She just died 5 days ago, so her cancer and her health are no longer an issue.

Cruiser's avatar

My moms illness and thankfully she passed peacefully and my A-hole partner who I fired last year is now totally gone from my life and my business has never been better with his sorry ass long gone.

YARNLADY's avatar

I wish I could say my issues are resolved. The only one that comes close is my son has a good chance at getting a full time job fro the seasonal job he now has.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I don’t know how to describe it. I’ve been miserable for as long as the length of my life until recently. The worst part was, I accepted that I was a horrible person and I deserved to be that way. I am what you can call a born hippie. Nothing about me is like anyone around me. I moved differently, I felt differently and much more deeply, I wasn’t good at being dishonest, I spoke my mind… As a result I was constantly criticized amd punished for “bad behavior”. Once a teacher told my mom I had mental problems and needed an asylum, not a hospital. I was a disgrace to my family, both immediate and extended. I was so convinced it was my fault that I tried to change, losing myself in the process. But of course I failed miserably. In the process of changing, I even attracted so many toxic friends that my soul was damaged even more. I became a people pleaser and had no self esteem at all.

My high school years were the years I was devastated the most. It’s something I don’t want to talk to anyone in real life because even if I do, no one will understand, I may also risk getting mocked like what happened in the how are you thread (I mean in real life, not here). On the surface I looked like a happy students, studying in a top-notched school, and having fantastic study results. But in reality, I suffered from a lot of bully. I was bullied by my classmates because I was not like them. I was even bullied by some inconsiderate teachers. “You were not wanted here” was something I heard frequently. I was used to being called useless, but that was too much to bear. I lost count of how many times the thought of suicide came to me.

Then I learned to use the internet, and I did some online research about how I could change myself completely and how to be loved. To my surprise I found out that nothing had been my fault in the first place. Most of what I was punished for was actually what the world needs from me. The only thing I did wrong was not acceptting myself. I started to learn how to love myself, to embrace my difference, and to block the cruel voice that tells me I’m useless. I notice that many people around me actually don’t go around judging others like what I was taught, they only need me to treat them well. I’m still struggling to love myself, as the effect of my brainwashing is still very strong, but at least I know I can make it and won’t succumb like I did.

Coloma's avatar

I am now living in my own place again after dealing with a moody and bitchy room mate for 22 months. We’re still “friends” on a casual basis as far as I am concerned but, she has no idea that I really, for the most part, don’t want much to do with her anymore. haha
I never wanted a room mate, even when I was 18 let alone in my 50’s now. She has her good points of course but she is an emotionally high maintenance female and I can’t stand women like that.

cookieman's avatar

@AnonymousAccount8: Thanks. He basically treated food as an Allergist would treat an allergen. He performs a scratch test of sorts in you for a wide variety of foods and takes notes as he goes. Based on that, he makes a list of food you can’t eat, and ones you can.

LornaLove's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake That sounds amazing. How did you manage to control mental illness?

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@LornaLove It’s a bit of a conundrum. I’m not controlling the illness exactly. I’m controlling aspects of the illness that are in my power. There are steps I can take on a daily basis that allow me to lived in a state of recovery. I take medicine. I meditate. I use talk therapy. I exercise. I get good sleep. I eat good food and little junk. I also practice mindfulness. I try to stay present throughout the day. I have less stress that way. When I live in the future, I worry, and when I live in the past, I have regrets. Living now allows me to simply be.

The illness is always present. It could possibly come back, and I could relapse. Doing the steps I can control makes me feel like I’m in power.

I had a difficult situation a few months ago, and I used the tools I mentioned above to get through it. I took some medicine I have for moments of great stress and anxiety. I also called and got extra appointments with my psychiatrist and my therapist. I continued to meditate daily. It all worked together to get me through the difficulty.

Mariah's avatar

@jca My condolences. At least her suffering is over.

A year ago I was struggling a little bit with working for a start up where everything was constantly “on fire” (e.g. the code is broken and urgently needs to be fixed). It was a high stress environment. They laid me off so their problems are not my problems anymore.

The biggest struggles of my life were caused by my health, and have been far less problematic since my surgeries five years ago.

I’m happy things are going better for you @AnonymousAccount8!

LornaLove's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake Thank you. I thought so. It’s hard to keep up I am trying!

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