Social Question

MooCows's avatar

Do mothers know when their child's appearance is lacking?

Asked by MooCows (3190points) January 11th, 2017

Have you ever saw a child and thought how
unappealing or even ugly that child is?
Do you think the mother knows or do all
mothers think their child is a beauty?
I am sure I am not the only one who has
thought this.

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10 Answers

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I don’t know. I don’t think they often do. But the power of someone’s good character and pleasant personality can change the initial impression people get from their appearance enormously. If it’s a loving relationship between mother and child, the child will always be beautiful in the mother’s eyes. Thank God for a mother’s love. LOL.

The most physically beautiful people can be percieved as extremely ugly if they are known to be mean and cruel, and vice-versa. If those same people hold a powerful position in our lives, their physical characteristics can even affect popular fashion. Their tastes and characteristics can either be adored or abhorred by the public depending on how the individual is perceived. That’s basically what PR is all about; manipulating public perception.

Cruiser's avatar

A child is at the mercy of the life they were born into. Whether it is physical appearance or the clothes they may be dressed in…a child has zero choice in that matter and they or their parents and IMO should never be judged or pre-judged as ugly. Ugly is an appalling word and again IMO should never be used under any circumstance to judge a child.

CWOTUS's avatar

I keep a copy of this photo / meme on my wall at work, and it causes some occasional comment (since it’s right above my desk, and obviously refers to me, being in the office), so it’s a light-hearted icebreaker sometimes. But I think with sadness of the little girl in the photo, and how she might feel at some point in her life when she realizes (if she doesn’t already) that her likeness has been used in such a way. So it’s one of those funny / not-funny things (like most humor, in fact). Personally, I find that sort of bewildered look on her face extremely touching and beautifully, wonderfully human. I adore this little girl.

CWOTUS's avatar

And there are these lyrics to the Shins’ Turn On Me

You can fake it for a while
Bite your tongue and smile
Like every mother does her ugly child
But it starts to leaking out
Like spittle from a cloud
Amassed resentment pelting ounce and pound

Are you entertaining any doubts?
‘Cause you had to know that I was fond of you
Fond of Y-O-U
Though I knew you masked your disdain
I can see the change was just too hard for us
Hard for us
You always had to hold the reins
But where I’m headed you just don’t know the way

So affections fade away
And do adults just learn to play
The most ridiculous repulsive games
All our favorite ruddy sons
And their double-barreled guns
You better hurry
Rabbit run run run
‘Cause mincing you is fun
And there’s a lot of hungry hatters in this world
Set on taking it over
But brittle thorny stems
They break before they bend
And neither one of us is one of them

And the tears will never mend
‘Cause you had it in for me so long ago
Boy I still don’t know
I don’t know why and I don’t care
Well hardly anymore
If you’d only seen yourself hating me
Hating me
When I’d been so much more than fair
But then you’d have to lay those feelings bare
The one thing I know still got you scared
You’re all that cold ire
And never once erred of a dare

Apparently, some mothers do know their child is ugly.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I have a son, who was a beautiful little boy, so said everyone. I noticed at some point though, that he was much more adorable in videos than stills.
Some people are just so sweet, and fun, amusing, tolerant, and giving, that they can be seen as nothing less than beautiful.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m opinionated in this actually. I don’t have children, but my guess is mother’s do see their children’s “flaws” like their nose is on the big side, or their kid is overweight, or whatever thing, but obviously their love their child, and how entertained they are by their children makes all those things not matter or even be endearing. My husband has a wrinkle in his face that I call “my favorite wrinkle.” I find the wrinkle cute, while he probably wishes he didn’t have it.

Anyway, here is where the opinionated part comes in. First, it’s more important how girls look, so I am going to focus on that. Girls are scrutinized much more by peers and society at large. Most people are pretty. You would be shocked how good posture, make-up, hair style, and clothing can transform people. The “pretty” girls often just know the secrets or have the money to help them accomplish the secrets.

Mom’s need to help their kids conform to some extent in my opinion. Just because the mom loves her daughter’s wild, curly, almost kinky hair, she shouldn’t insist natural is better when her 12 year old is feeling very out of place. Let the kid get her hair straightened or show her how to style her hair. I love full curly hair, I’m just using it as an example. Your kid has a mole that really bothers her, let her get it removed. Send her to ballet class (if she likes to dance) so she stands up straight if she won’t straighten her back for you. Let her wear make-up when her friends start to. Help her wear what’s appropriate and flattering.

Seek's avatar

I wouldn’t know, my kid is gorgeous.

MooCows's avatar

As are mine!

lentil's avatar

I can’t stop laughing at this. I don’t think I’m heartless, it just struck me as funny, the complete seriousness of the question. I actually quite like children; I think they’re brilliant, funny little humans. I would think maybe mothers can see their child’s imperfections, but see them to a lesser extent than others do, if that makes sense. It’s almost like how you can fall in love with a person;s personality, platonically or romantically, either way, really, and after a while, you stop noticing their flaws. Like, for example, I love my little sister to the ends of the earth and back, but she has a big gap between her two front teeth. She doesn’t like it, she thinks it’s ugly and she says the kids at school tease her for it. So to them, it’s a flaw. To me, it’s just another of her traits; I find it adorable, because I love her. I would imagine a mother’s love would turn any flaw into something to love, but likely they do still see what others would consider to be a flaw, I would think.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Welcome to Fluther, @lentil Nicely done.

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