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alexbelle's avatar

Should I just let him go and breathe new life again?

Asked by alexbelle (70points) February 23rd, 2017

Update: Most of you have seen 2 of my post’s and you might now where I am coming from!! and, well I have decided to break up with my ’‘boyfriend’’ I cant stand his behaviour anymore, tommorrow he is coming for his grad, and he messaged me saying ’‘tommorrow im going early cause Im going to close the apartment ( Meaning like he wants sex, before closing the apt) he said ’‘so I want to see your early at 10:00 am’’.

So his grad starts at 4:00 pm and I thought we were going to see eachother after the grad (I guess not) so I don’t understand what he would do after it, since he told me that he just wanted to get it over with the grad (he just wants his diploma and that’s it) so I said: ’‘ok you text me’’ the reason I did this is because I don’t want to stay with what I want to say in his face inside of me!! I want to get it all out! he did not even say ’’ hi im coming tommorrow for graduation’’ no options or anything boom, just at 10 Am because he wants to and that’s it, he is selfish, and I’m over him. Theres no way this guy can feel love for me.

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23 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

You can text him back and say, “I’ll be away in the morning. Goodbye.”

And then don’t respond to any texts or calls or emails. Block him.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

It would be smart on your part to give him the cold shoulder.

Zaku's avatar

I’d say it is past time to move on.

I think you should promise yourself that your next relationship will not be allowed to rely on text communications!

If you don’t understand what you need do from text, ask for what you need to know. Don’t assume anything you aren’t sure of! If you don’t get an answer, phone and talk to him until you do get the info you need. If he won’t talk to you about info you need, leave the relationship. Don’t wonder and ask the Internet what it thinks you should do about your assumptions about your incomplete text exchanges.

Unless you like the drama of uncertainty and guessing and feeling offended by what you assume it means that a guy left out information or whatever. In which case, savor the chaos.

But otherwise, don’t accept that type of communication. Make it one of the up-front minimum requirements that a boyfriend be reachable in a timely fashion and give you the info you need about what’s going on.

jca's avatar

This is your boyfriend that you wanted to visit over one weekend and he said “no, I’m coming to see you next weekend.” What a crock of shit. I’d be so done with him, I’d not have sex with him, I’d not even want to see him. I like @zenvelo‘s advice. “I’m busy. Goodbye.”

alexbelle's avatar

@jca Yes its the same living one, and I even asked him Why I could not come that weekend, and he said that because he was stressed, tutoring and studying, and the baddest part is that he did not even mention ‘oh look you can come another weekend’’ or if you ask me with time in advance or something but nothing,no reassurance ,Im the one that has to be asking so when can I go. he just does not seem to want me to go over there. Honestly enough is enough, I have to enjoy my life! no more bullshit.

rojo's avatar

Be gone. Leave your phone off so you won’t be tempted to answer it and find something to do for the day. Ok, you might do like @zenvelo suggests if it makes it easier but is making it easier for him what it is all about?

Shirley29's avatar

Turn away don’t listen to him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, yes. Let him go. He’s using you and you’re letting him.

alexbelle's avatar

@jca I finished with him you guys, you know what that idiot did, he called me at 11:30pm to tell me he was here in the city if I was ready and I said know, I was going to end with him face to face.and then I texted him can we see eachother in the evening, no answer, so I texted him you know what forget about it,don’t come,your wasting my time,ur late. thats it, I have not gotten a single message from him, he is so fucking bipolar, NEVER in my life I will enter a relationship with a person so sketchy and mysterious, I have learned better, my friend said to me ’‘wow 3 years in that shit’’ girl you waited to much, I would have dumped him in less than a year being with a person like that.

alexbelle's avatar

Plus this guy liked anal sex he had an obsession with anal, I hated anal so he always wanted me to have it, he even obligated me to do it twice and idiot me did it to please him.OH GOD WHY DIDN’T I SEE MAJOR RED FLAGS, OR BETTER SAID WHY DID i IGNORE THEM,I’M SO ANGRY!!!

Btw what should I do next time I start a new relationship, I don’t want to keep repeating patterns!?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Don’t ignore the early warning signs next time.

chyna's avatar

When someone asks you to do things you don’t want to do, regardless of your feelings, that is a red flag to leave the relationship. You deserve to have a kind, loving relationship and not give in just because he asks or demands.

alexbelle's avatar

@chyna You know this guy did a lot to hurt me emotionally and mentally, I am not trying to be dramatic. but since I don’t have a lot of world or experience i gave in on him and thought that because he was older he would know exactly what he wanted, but then I just started to see certain things I did not like about him, character wise and behaiour wise, and still I stayed lying to myself thinking that he was going to change or perhaps the relationship was going to get better, I am not perfect myself and I have my character, we all do, but I felt I was way to nice with him.

I have to think that either this guy used me for his own convenience, or he at one point wanted me and lost interest( due to our sexual incompatibility) plus I never liked that communication he had with that women, no one will ever take from my head that he has something with her.or other woman.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@alexbelle It happens to every one of us. It’s painful and embarrassing, but that’s how we learn. You’ll feel much better as soon as he’s completely out of your life.

alexbelle's avatar

I don’t know if you guys noticed but this man was fucking selfish too, always has to be on his terms like really, seriously I am an idiot, I need to stop being so weak mentally. and put people on there place.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You’re not an idiot! You’re wisdom in progress.

alexbelle's avatar

Thank god I somehow created a barrier so this breakup will not be as painful. plus it should not be this guy was just hurting me mentally,emotionally, he was not being a good person. Love is better than that.

alexbelle's avatar

I wanted to break up with him long time but I did not have the strength, so thank god this happened, I feel relieved and well I dont think this type of break up is the one to be crying or hurting, this type of man is not worth it obiously he played me, and he is better of alone. I did cry a little 2 hours ago, just to let it out,but I know I will be fine in a couple of days.I am a strong woman and deep down inside my heart, I know I will find a good man.AMEN

rojo's avatar

@alexbelle Don’t beat yourself up… You have had enough of that kind of crap already from him.

alexbelle's avatar

Thanks everyone for your advice!, can you guys please tell me some things that can help me when meeting some one new in the future, like tips to know if he is trust worthy and that kind of stuff!!.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Your instincts will tell you. The problem (and we all do it) is that we ignore the warning signs, especially in the very beginning when your brain is flooded with cozy warmy “love.”

And also, IMO, I wouldn’t become sexually intimate for several months, at least until you get a better idea of what he’s like. If you have sex right away, you set yourself up for the occasional sex visit with no commitment, which is how you found yourself in that situation. That will batter a woman’s self esteem.

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