General Question

molly's avatar

How/when am I going to know what I want to do with my life?

Asked by molly (259points) August 11th, 2008

i know many people just say that you’ll find your own niche in this world and you’ll know from childhood or some beautiful experience what it is meant for you to spend your life doing, but i feel like i have never and will never figure this out. i have a few very deep passions (photography and writing) that are both very important to me, i do very often, people say i have talent for, and i spend much of my time/money on. ideally, i would like to go to college and major in one of these, but what do i do after that? is it that i have outlandish aspirations or just that i’m not motivated enough? i refuse to accept that i may just end up living a mediocre life, stuck in the town i was raised in with some shitty normal job, but i’m not sure how else it’ll turn out.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

23 Answers

trumi's avatar

Don’t let anybody tell you that you should already know what you want to do, or that most kids accurately know what they want to grow up to be. That is simply not true.

You have your whole life to figure out what you want. Try not to worry about it.

Edgarex86's avatar

Trust me, its hard to know exactly what you are going to do with your life. But try out several different topics or jobs while you can. And most importantly, never settle. Be happy with your decision, however, nothing is worse that some job that you hate to go to. Enjoy college and have fun!!! doing what you decide to do

marinelife's avatar

The difference between you and someone who knows what they want, goes after it, and gets it are focus and zeal.

Make a decision to do what you love, and go after it. Avoid self doubt. If you fall or fail (and you will) keep going. That is all it takes.

Stop worrying and start living.

Edgarex86's avatar

Yea i totally agree with Marina. Plus you are young, have fun and stop worrying like a man going through a mid life crisis.

sweet_one's avatar

Go to school for your hobbies. You said yourself that you are very good at photography and writing pursue them. A lot of people are unhappy with where they are right now with their job, even CEO’s quit and mow lawns for the rest of their lives. Pursue your strengths. You do sound as if you arent motivated , but if you really love these two things…you will make away. After college will come to you…you will/may fail, but do not get discourage if this is what you are good at then show everyone what you are good at. Who knows you could be a famous photographer or writer with photography on the side or vice versa. Those are very great areas to choose from. Go for it. Do not worry about after college just stay focus and driven with the attitude that you will get there no matter what it takes you will land that career in writing or photography.

redsgirl4eva's avatar

I am 30 years old and all I know is I want to be in Computer Science. I don’t know what part of it though. So it may take awhile for you to know but relax it takes time.

augustlan's avatar

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln

molly's avatar

first off, thank you everyone, i was having a bit of a freakout and all your responses made me feel a lot better.
second, marina and edgar – it’s funny, because that’s the type of response i should be giving myself, i live by the whole “enjoy life and life for today” philosophy, i have a tattoo that fits this philosophy, you would think i could talk myself out of things like this by now. but alas, i am human.

and i suppose it is true that everyone stumbles along their path, but sometimes i lose sight of that thought and worry that i’m the the only bumbling idiot trying to find their way. we all are, right?

Chawk80's avatar

I am 38 and still looking. I am getting tired of the thing I am good at, which is sales. I want to be more creative and a risk taker. I want to own my own business. I am the cliff diver standing on the edge saying “What the hell am I doing up here?” I still need that push and it is coming soon. I already have the wheels in motion and moving forward. Take it from someone who is taking the leap later DO NOT LET ANYONE FILL YOUR HEAD WITH DOUBT! Your gonna screw up things it is unavoidable. Learn from it and avoid doing it twice. Hope this helps.

mee_ouch's avatar

You sound as though you’ve got yourself figured out already. Now that you’ve put the question out there, expect to see many answers from many people who admire your honesty and determination. You’ll find that a majority of us are still looking for that ever elusive “kick in the ass” that will present itself only when we let it.

Don’t settle for a band-aid solution or a ‘quick-fix’. The world is your oyster…so long as you explore it on your own and for yourself.
Plod along at your own pace and accept suggestions that apply to you and you only.
Living someone else’s dream will only demean you in the end.
“Slow and steady wins the race”.

Best of luck to you….you’re heading in the right direction!

molly's avatar

chawk and mee_ouch, thank you so much, what nice answers, and very good point about going at my own pace and choosing what is right for me, i think my mind was jumping the gun as far as getting on a track when maybe i just need to feel things out more and spend some more time finding the perfect one for me.

mee_ouch's avatar

You’re going to be just fine. A lot of people will look-up to you some day….if they don’t already.
Best wishes Molly.

marcospereira's avatar

Doubt is a good thing. You have doubts because you are concerned about what to do. There is a great speech from Steve Jobs about keep yourself foolish and hungry.

This leads me to: change! Go to another city. Know new people. Get out your comfort zone. And move. Learn from your mistakes. Try and learn everything you can. Expose your photos, write text, let people talk about them.Don’t stop.

Kind Regards

Response moderated
molly's avatar

marco, thank you! this is what i really want to do, and sometimes i get scared and nervous about branching out and changing up my life but when other people find it to be a good solution i get really excited for the life ahead of me.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

i did not mean for the y, n and g to be capitalized, btw.

GG's avatar

I agree with sweet one, go to college and pursue your interests. The only thing you will want to stick to are the things that interest you. So check them out.

That’s what I did. I went to college and worked on the student newspaper. I learned a ton. Eventually I started working on newspapers. Now I have my own business as a writer and I am pretty happy with life. If I’d done what other people suggested (be a lawyer, be a programmer, etc.) I would be miserable now.

One more thing: pay attention to what you DON’T want to do. Try things, and if you DON’T like them, don’t do them any more.

After college, get that book “What Color Is Your Parachute?” and figure out what you DO what to do next. It doesn’t have to be forever, it can be for a year or two. Move around the country. Meet people. Have fun. You have a lot going for you, I can tell. So go for it.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

you can be 40 and still trying to figure out life. What matters is enjoying the journey there.

mee_ouch's avatar

ninjaxmarc…..truer words were never spoken..

BronxLens's avatar

Molly, you don’t have to choose between photography OR writing. There is plenty of market for good writers with a solid grasp of photography and viceversa.

What I see as any artist’s worst enemies are apathy and laziness. Avoid them or push yourself out of this state of mind as soon as possible should you ever find yourself there. As a book with practical advise from someone who fought in the trenches, get your hands on The War of Art .

All that aside, be active on what you do. If you like to write, WRITE, don’t just talk about writing. If you like to do photography, PHOTOGRAPH, dont just read/study/talk about it and more to the point, explore & find ways to get your work in front of an audience, ANY AUDIENCE! I’ve seen neighborhood photographers approach their local businesses to hang their work in the establishment’s walls, etc. For writers, I’m sure there are some places you can submit your work NOW, not later, not when you get better, not after you get a book published, but NOW.

For both fields, another source of people that can benefit from your talent can be found in the most resent edition of the 2008 Photographer’s Market and the 2008 Writer’s Market – your local library should have them both.

Best of luck in your pursuit of happiness, which is what this is really all about ;)

ninjaxmarc's avatar

thanks Mee!

mee_ouch's avatar

No…...thank you….
For reminding me that in the greater scheme of things, we’re all in ‘this’ together, and life is forever unfolding for each and every one of us. I know it sounds cliche, but I have lived my life under the assumption that each day will give me only what I contribute to it. I have learned not to set my expectations too high, lest I fall into a pit of self-loathing and despair. Mind you, it does happen, I am human after all. However, I know that if I live my life according to others’ ‘plans’, then it’s never going to allow me to experience what is in ‘store’ for me. That said, it’s all baby steps…..........One at a time.

yungbuck1314's avatar

well dont stress over it but atleast have an idea i what you want to do

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther