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Dutchess_III's avatar

When a parent wants to take their kids to a psychologist due to "behavior issues," do you think that part of the therapy should include installing a nanny cam in the house for a certain amount of time?

Asked by Dutchess_III (38415points) February 18th, 2018

I believe that 90% of the time that a kid has “behavior issues,” it’s due to the behavior of the parents. They may be inconsistent with their discipline. They may explode in rage one moment, and the next completely ignore the same behavior they exploded at before. They may be abusive. They may be unwittingly encouraging bad behavior. But when a parent takes a child to the doctor they aren’t going to clue the doc in on any of that, because they may not even recognize it themselves.

So, if you had a child with “behavior issues,” would you allow a nanny cam in your house for, say, a month?

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5 Answers

Zaku's avatar

I think you’re right about the parent’s role in child issues. I went as an unofficial step-parent to meetings at a child rehabilitation center, and it was clear that most of the parents were in denial/ignorance/defensiveness about being at least as much the source of the problems as the children they had interred there. The psychiatrists generally knew that was what was going on, but didn’t know how to penetrate the parents’ mindsets given the legal situation.

So I’d say that a nanny cam isn’t necessary because a good psychiatrist can tell mostly what’s up. Well, the cam might help to create evidence for legal action by a non-abusive family member (e.g. the common case where one parent or stepparent is the main problem but no one can get rid of them, and that sort of person isn’t going to want the camera, and/or will avoid abusing on-camera if they know about it).

Dutchess_III's avatar

All very good points, @Zaku.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I feel so sad seeing all these 2 year olds getting put on drugs, like Ritalin due to their “behavior issues.” ALL 2 year olds have behavior issues!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I wonder if the parents would respond better if they actually see their behavior on tape. They might be just as aghast at their behavior as the rest of the world and actually try to change.
It’s kind of like a person who denies that they are over weight….until they see a picture of themselves. Then they can’t deny it any more.

Zaku's avatar

@Dutchess_III I think some parents might react as you hope, and it might be worth a shot. However the ones I had the displeasure to deal with would at most go through an act about it when confronted about something, but not materially change. Some were even leaders of courses on personal development, but they used those to empower their self-denial, exterior looking-good, self-justification, shaming, superiority, crazy-making techniques, etc. I think that parents who abuse their children tend to have very deep ego-defenses around that behavior.

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