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MooCows's avatar

Were you more sad over one parents death than the other?

Asked by MooCows (2954points) February 23rd, 2018

Is it unusual to be more sad about one parents death than the other? I feel a little guilty that I am more sad over my dad’s death than my mother’s death. I guess it is not like your children where you love them both the same(most of the time). I know my mother loved me but I never heard her actually say it so I took a vow that I would tell my 2 sons every chance I got that I loved them. Maybe my mother’s mom never told her? Anyway to this day it is still somewhat upsetting to me that she never told me…even when I was going thru a divorce and really needed her she wasn’t there for me emotionally. Anyway just thinking of her today and so glad my sons hear those three words more than they would like even now that they are older-25/27.

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3 Answers

chyna's avatar

For me, it was such different time periods and circumstances. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 17. It was unexpected. At that age everything is so dramatic and I felt it was the end of the world.
My mom suffered for years with different illnesses, so when she did pass away in her 80’s, I was relieved for her. I still mourned her loss, but maybe not as deeply as my father’s.

janbb's avatar

I guess i was more sad after my Dad died. My relationship with him was less conflicted than that with my mother.

filmfann's avatar

I was sadder for my Dad. He died fairly young (53). He was an overpowering man.
When he died, I felt awful for my Mom having to live without him. She died at 72.
I ached when she died of course, but she had a good run.

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