Social Question

Introverted_Leo's avatar

(Taurus) men: does it make sense to get upset with a girl you've only met online because she won't buy you a gift before meeting you in person?

Asked by Introverted_Leo (1952points) June 17th, 2018

Context: I was talking to a man (who happens to be a Taurus) on a dating app. Unfortunately, he was out of the country at the time and wouldn’t be back for another month, so we just texted and talked on the phone.

Things got weird in conversation. At one point, he said he wanted to wire me some money because he liked me. At first I thought he was kidding, but then I realized he was being serious. I said I don’t need your money; I just want to get to know you. (Red flag #1. Oddly enough, this also seems like a very Taurus thing to do, lol.)

Hoped he’d learned his lesson. Nope. Some days later, he asked me if I could get him a gift—an iTunes card, he said. (Apparently he wanted me to buy it then send him a picture of the barcode.) I’m like why would I buy you a gift when we don’t even know each other and haven’t even met yet? I thought the subject had passed as a joke, but then he brought it up another two or so times again. Worse, he started “witholding” information about himself (on little questions like “what’s your favorite drink?”) simply because I hadn’t bought him the gift card yet. (Petty much?)

I told him I’m not okay with him demanding gifts from me and he should have given me the chance to get to know him first so I could give him a gift on my own volition if I so chose to. Apparently, he wasn’t too happy about this. He said this wasn’t about money but that he needed to “evaluate” my “financial abilities,” which honestly sounds like a very materialist Taurus thing to say; it also sounds like a very unreasonable thing to say. “I’m not just ready to spend energy and time if my girl can’t afford the cheapest things for me.” Literally his words.

Has this ever happened to anyone before? O.O I just don’t understand how this could ever be considered normal or logical in any man’s mind. Am I going nuts, or is this man out of his mind? (In any case, it’s needless to say he won’t be getting the chance to meet me.)

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23 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

50% chance that he is a scammer. Years ago I asked my gf for a Pokemon stuffed animal. We exchanged beanie babys and matching sunmer jackets. She gave both back whem we broke up. Before she gave the beanie baby back she gave it to the yearbook community to put with everyones photo.

2davidc8's avatar

You need to forget about this guy. As @RedDeerGuy1 said, he sounds like a scammer. And it has nothing to do with any astrological sign.
How about asking HIM to send you an iTunes card, so that you can evaluate HIS financial abilities?

Jeruba's avatar

Hi there! Haven’t seen you around here in a very long time. Welcome back.

No matter how charming this one may sound otherwise, there’s something really off here, and you’re right to bow out.

Way back when, and long before we had the internet playground, I had penpals around the world. We were all young teens, and we wrote actual postal letters to each other and sometimes exchanged small tokens of friendship (on the order of a pressed flower or a few international postage stamps). One of them, a very pleasant-sounding young man, started asking me for things after two or three letters. He wanted me, for example, to buy him an American business suit and have it shipped to him. At the time, my allowance was $2.50 a week, and that included lunch money. It turned out that he’d been watching American TV shows, thought we were all rich, and believed that an ordinary American youngster could easily afford expensive gifts.

I’m wondering if your correspondent is out of the country because that’s where his home is.

By the way, I agree that astrological signs are irrelevant to the situation.

snowberry's avatar

The guy’s a nut. Dump him! Quick! I hope he doesn’t know where you live!

chyna's avatar

I think he’s trying to see how far he can get with you money-wise. Cut all ties with him. There are too many men out there that want to know you for who you are, not the gifts that you can give them. Sounds very shady. Also, keep an eye on your credit score. Hopefully you haven’t given him enough information to open accounts in your name.
Welcome back!

janbb's avatar

Taurus-shmurus; he’s a scammer. The demands will escalate. Stop communicating.

ragingloli's avatar

Sounds like his actual zodiac is Prick.
You should dump him immediately.

flutherother's avatar

Sorry, but I have to agree with the other respondents. This man is a scammer. It is natural for the subject of money to come up at some point in a relationship but wanting to transfer money and gifts so soon is definitely a red flag. ITunes gift cards are being requested by some scammers who are only out for money

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh man, no. Get. Out. He’s a serious jerk. His astrological sign has nothing to do with that.

gorillapaws's avatar

This could be an 80-year-old woman in Russia, a 50 old obese guy that runs a dog-fighting operation in Indonesia, or a 12-year-old child slave in Nigeria. You have no idea who you’re communicating with over the internet. Scammers prey on people’s emotions. For your safety, I would lock down your accounts, change your passwords using a password manager, turn on 2-factor authentication. These guys may have teased out enough personal info to guess your security questions and potentially gain access to your accounts.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/romance-scams-online-fbi-facebook_us_59414c67e4b0d318548666f9

kritiper's avatar

Whoa! What kind of a man is that?? What a flake…

Kardamom's avatar

This is a scam.

Watch the show Catfish and you will see how this kind of scam works.

Side note: people don’t have particular traits based upon their zodiac signs. All of those “traits” are generalizations that could easily be attributed to anyone.

You can see how the astrology scam works here: https://sciencebasedlife.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/the-signs-may-have-changed-but-astrology-is-still-bogus/

You seem a wee bit naive, and vulnerable to being taken advantage of. We don’t want that to happen to you. Try to be more aware of how things work, and learn as much as you can about how things really work, so you don’t get fooled, or scammed.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah, I bet you told him you were a Taurus and he said, “Well, what do you know!!! So am I!” Bullshit.

Jeruba's avatar

Her username says she’s a Leo.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Major point for you here, if @ragingloli agrees with virtually all the rest of the community, it is a given.
Dump the account, cover any trace that would lead him to you, don’t bother with good bye.
You have dug up bad news there.
His only reason for offering money was a hope you would divulge account information.

LadyMarissa's avatar

I would have STOPPED talking to him when he asked to receive the iTunes card after you told him money wasn’t important to you!!!

When he spewed forth “I’m not just ready to spend energy and time if my girl can’t afford the cheapest things for me.” I would have CLOSED MY ACCOUNT & DELETED MY HISTORY!!!
He’s NOT even mildly amusing!!! Find another site with a better class of friends. His being a Taurus has NOTHING to do with his behavior…HE’S A CREEP!!!

snowberry's avatar

Just tell him he’s Taurus Sh*t and be done with him!

rojo's avatar

You could leave off the astrological references and have just as legitimate a question.

snowberry's avatar

—Nobuddy got my joke… {sticks out lip} it was a good one too! Maybe they don’t know what Taurus means.—

gorillapaws's avatar

@snowberry I got it. It made me chuckle.

2davidc8's avatar

@snowberry OK, that was a good one!

LadyMarissa's avatar

@snowberry I got it & I spit my drink across the room before I could control myself. I also cursed you while I cleaned up the mess!!! :)

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