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andreamitchell's avatar

Embarrassed to post this.. but here goes, is it too late?

Asked by andreamitchell (12points) September 13th, 2018

Hello everyone reading!
I’m Andrea and I’m 28 years old, living in Sunny California! I have in my final year of medical school- a year from now I’ll be a doctor! However, I hold a deep secret. I’m 28, single and still a virgin (rare, I know!).
Throughout the past few years, school has taken over my life. From pre-medicine studies to medical school, it took years of hard work and focus. So, I never got into the dating world!
I believe I would be ready to date after graduation from medical school. I’ll be 29 and I’ll be a newbie to dating if I give it a chance. I feel no man would be interested in a woman so inexperienced plus my crazy hours at the hospital. I am completely embarrassed.
Is it too late to even give love a try? All these years I’ve seen my friends fall in and out of love, get married but I’m yet to experience it and to be honest, it does get lonely at times.
Any opinions would be appreciated

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11 Answers

Zaku's avatar

Consider it an achievement.

Only clods would have a negative reaction.

But you might want to see a relationship counselor to get objective supportive input and tips on what to expect, how to relate to it, and how to avoid problematic dating & relationship patterns.

2davidc8's avatar

There’s nothing negative or embarrassing about that.

mazingerz88's avatar

At 28 nothing is ever too late. : )

chyna's avatar

Oh my gosh, no you are not out of the dating game! I work in a hospital and it is a hotbed of dating, affairs, hookups and deep friendships because you are sharing so much that non medical people wouldn’t really understand.

janbb's avatar

@chyna Ooh! You’ve been holding out on us. Grey’s Anatomy?

I started dating again after 40 years of marriage. Don’t overthink it; just take your time getting too involved. Plenty of med students will be in the same boat as you.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Nothing to be embarrassed about,once you have a bit of time to get out and meet people it will happen.

rojo's avatar

Eh, life is what it is. Some do, some don’t. Admittedly it has been a few years since I have been in the dating scene but I don’t remember any questionnaire before the date asking for prior dating or sexual experience. And, I have never heard of anyone who quit a date over the other partner being inexperienced sexually so I wouldn’t put a lot of angst into worrying about that aspect.

Your priorities are what you make of them and evidently you are in the midst of reorganizing yours. Good for you. Just try to figure out what you want and make it happen. Remember, you wanted to be a doctor and made that work so you have the skill set, just apply those skills to your new challenge.

Decide what you are looking for. in a companion Do you want to date someone in the medical field or for sure not date anyone associated with medicine. Both have pros and cons. Several family members are in the med. field and I have heard of both successes and failures going either way. Are you involved in other clubs or groups that might expand the pool of possibilities? Some one older? Younger? Same age? At almost 30 you do have a few more options. Is someone who has been married previously acceptable? What personality type? Is there someone you know that you think might be interesting? What about friends of friends? Use all the resources you have available to you once you know where you are heading.

Basically, think about what you would like in a mate but don’t reject a prospect who does not meet all of your criteria. Remember none of us are perfect but for the most part we do the best we can with what we have.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Welcome and no, that is not a drawback. People auction their virginity off websites now, because it’s so rare! Many men love the untouched innocent woman, who wouldn’t want to be the first and only man to plant a flag in virgin ground?

Plus many of us aren’t getting married until later in life, so that would just allow you to skip the heartache and juvenile relationships most of us had to deal with.

And, an achievement like medical school is special, it takes dedication and you’ve done it! I’m proud of you for the focus on goals, and I bet you find a wonderful mate on your own timeframe, but keep your head up. You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed. I was the last in my friend group and got teased a lot, so I kind of understand. Someone will treasure the gift of you, wait for that person.

ucme's avatar

You should be proud & shine, your uniqueness makes you attractive & a welcome catch for any bloke worthy of the name, so no…nowhere close to late.

BackinBlack's avatar

Not embarrassing at all! The right guy will not think anything bad or weird of it. I’m actually really tired of hearing about how slutty everyone is. You should be selective of who you choose to share your body with and it’s not a competition to see how many you can get. You are really lucky actually to be an adult and making your sexual choices. Choices from the teen years and early twenties will haunt you and I’d say you dodged a bullet!

And way to go on making it to your final year of med school, that’s an amazing achievement!

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