General Question

charliecompany34's avatar

Could you pull the trigger?

Asked by charliecompany34 (7793points) August 20th, 2008

today a partner of mine took his life with his service weapon. could it really be that bad? can’t you live another day just to see how it will work out? suicide is so easy in the aftermath for the victim, but what could being going through your head with your finger on the trigger? so many are hurt because of the selfishness on the victim’s part…

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18 Answers

wildflower's avatar

it is possible to reach a point where the hurt, shock an disappointment you’ll inflict on others, pale in comparison to the agony of going on with a dreadful existence…

charliecompany34's avatar

@wildflower, yeah i guess you’re right. thanks. dude was only 32.

willbrawn's avatar

in that situation of actual no I would not pull the trigger. That is not who I am.

But when I read the question I thought of the girl at Columbine High School. She in a sense pulled the trigger. The gunmen asked her ” do you believe in God” with a gun pointed to her head. She knew what would happen. She said yes. And she was killed. So in a sense she pulled the trigger. In that particular situation I would “pull”.

wildflower's avatar

There’s no telling where people’s treshold is. Happens to kids, adults and elderly….Thankfully I’ve, so far, always been able to convince myself to hang in there, but I can see how it’s possible to get beyond that point.

marinelife's avatar

I am so sorry to hear about your loss charliecompany34. Suicide is a terrible thing. For the victims, their life has become so bleak they see no way out, no path for improvement, and delude themselves that everyone else will be better off without them.

People who are suicidal need medical help. Your profession does not lend itself to admitting the issues, and the need for help. This at the same time that its stresses make for a high suicide rate.The internal culture needs to be changed.

For those left behind, studies show that suicide marks families for generations. It causes all who knew the victim to wonder should I have known, could I have done more. Again, we don’t have good, broad education programs aimed at suicide prevention and designed to help people recognize signs and know how they can help someone.

Your friend was sick and in his illness made a bad decision. It was not your fault. Please take care of yourself as you go through this.

flameboi's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss, a friend of mine tried to kill himself but was saved by the paramedics, after being almost 3 minutes dead, when we asked him why he did it, he said that he was tired of living, that he wanted to rest.. We still discuss that if he was a coward for not being able to handle his life one more day, or that he was brave enough to leave everything he loved… I still wonder what happened to him that afetrnoon…

Snoopy's avatar

I am very sorry for you loss.

Anyone who commits suicide has mental health issues…..if you have never experienced that kind of isolation, it is unlikely you will ever completely understand what happened.

Hopefully, in time, you will make peace w/ this tragedy. Please seek counseling and please talk w/ others who knew the both of you…do not make the same mistake of isolating yourself and not reaching out to people who love and care about you….

scamp's avatar

I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand some of what you are going through. I lost a brother to suicide. It’s something no one can begin to understand unless they have been there. If you want to talk, feel free to send a private comment.

Allie's avatar

I’m sorry to hear about this charlie. To answer your question – no, I couldn’t do it. I would be too worried about what would happen to my family and friends afterward.

augustlan's avatar

I figured out, a long time ago, that things always change, and if you’re so far down that you don’t want to live, the only way things can go is up. I’m sorry for your friend, his family, and you that your friend had not yet come to this realization.

gooch's avatar

No there are to many others I would take out before wasting myself.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

sorry for your loss.
I’m not selfish enough to remove myself from people that care and would miss me.
I couldn’t do it because I would not want to make people sad.

marissa's avatar

Charlie my heart goes out to you (you too Scamp). I really can’t add much. Others have covered it well. I just wanted to add my sympathy. I lost a good friend and a close family member to suicide, so I have some idea of the pain suicide causes, however, everyone’s pain is different, so I wouldn’t presume to know exactly what you are going through. First, those who said you should talk to someone (couselor, support group), that is very good advice. As for understanding how they could do this, especially those that view this as a selfish act, when a person reaches the point of taking their own life, with rare exception, they are so out of their mind with depressive, self destructive thoughts, they truly believe they are doing what is the best (or only) option in the situation they find themselves. The other issue, I want to comment on is guilt. For those left behind (perhaps including you), the self created guilt can be overwhelming. You wonder if you could have done something, was there something you missed, if you had only been a better friend, a better family member, the list of ‘if only’ is endless. Please don’t torture yourself with this type of thinking, it will do no good. It is normal to feel that way initially, but if you find you can’t get past the ‘if only’ or guilt thinking, please seek help. If not for your sake, then for the sake of the people that care about you. Just like you cared about your partner, there are people that care about you, turn to them for support and if you need more, seek professional help. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now.

flameboi's avatar

@scamp
I’m sorry for your loss too… what’s happening in this world?

JackAdams's avatar

My condolences on the loss of your partner.

No, I could never take my own life, unless it was to prevent a death that was too frightening to endure.

I hope that things never go so badly for me, that that becomes an “option.”

May your friend Rest In Peace…

marissa's avatar

Charlie, I just wanted to pop in and see how you are doing today. I hope you can find some comfort here on Fluther.

Jreemy's avatar

No, I would not pull said trigger. I find that no matter how grim the outlook may be, giving up is much worse. I feel that if this is the one chance we have, we should make every attempt to make sure it has every chance to succeed.

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