Why do some people constantly change their stories?
My oldest daughter tends to say one thing with such utter certainty, then the next time I see her she says exactly the opposite, with such utter certainty.
For example, one day she made a comment that she sees ALL the comments I post on Facebook. She doesn’t miss a single one.
The next time I saw her she said she never even looks at Facebook and has no idea what people are posting.
One day she said she loves salt, especially gourmet salts. The next time she says she never uses salt because she doesn’t like it.
These are just a couple of examples, but she’s really consistent about changing her story. The result is, I take just about everything she says with a grain of salt ha ha. No pun intended….and to me that is sad.
But what would be the motivation behind someone doing something like that?
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Well, it is possible.
I think it can depend on certain factors: in the Facebook example it can be that she uses a different notion of time (different from yours).
She could have been a fervent visitor of Facebook (and checking what everybody writes and likes), until one day she decides she no longer trusts the Zuck, and quits checking in, or quits all together (hence “I don’t do Facebook”)
The salt thing: I always used to put plenty salt in the food I prepared, and ate all kinds of savory snacks, until I was urged to quit consuming salt as much as possible.
From that day on I almost loathe salt; when I take one crisp/potato chip, my face contracts like a baby who’s biting a lemon.
Maybe you just meet her every time she changed a certain behavior or habit?
Right? She’s just like a different person every time!
I used to feel the same way about salt, but then the doc told me to increase my salt intake because my sodium levels were dangerously low.
They are loony-toony. I have a sister like that and I call her Queen of the Double Standard.
People don’t fit into convenient stories, and some people resent the attempts to do so. Have you considered that attempting to define your daughter as “she likes salt” or “she doesn’t like salt” could be a challenge for her?
Many of us prefer to think of ourselves as fluid, free, and open to change our likes, dislikes, and behaviors. And attempts to be defined (“you like salt”) can seem like an attack on one’s agency. This doesn’t seem to be a far-fetched scenario – especially between a parent and child.
I’m not attempting to define her. I’m just trying to understand why she says completely opposite things at times. Which is true? Does she really love different kinds of salts in which case I’ll keep an eye out for specialty salts with her in mind, or does she really avoid salt, in which case I won’t? This is in the space of a couple of weeks, too.
She likes messing with your head.
Perhaps. She certainly likes being in charge!
Like mother, like daughter??
But @Dutchess_III, this is about you wanting to define her for as long as it takes to purchase something for her. Has she asked you to purchase salts for her, and then the following week she announces she hates salt?
I’m not sure how old your daughter is, but it’s very common and healthy for people to go through drastic changes in likes and dislikes, beliefs, etc especially when they are young. Having to manage what current “story” someone else has about you is something that most people are justifiably not willing to do.
You might want to ask yourself why you are frustrated with your daughter’s apparent change in tastes.
Because they are Obsidian Order Operatives.
No. You’re making far to much out of it. She’ll be 40 this year. It’s not so much frustration as curiosity. The differences aren’t taking place over years. They take place in a matter of days. It’s like, “Did you forget that you said exactly the opposite thing last week?” Why does she do that? In fact, I kind of called her out on the salt thing. I said, “Last week you said you loved all different kinds of salts!” She didn’t comment. She just shrugged her shoulders and changed the subject.
@Dutchess_III: “In fact, I kind of called her out on the salt thing. I said, “Last week you said you loved all different kinds of salts!””
Oh, I’ve been in your daughter’s shoes. :)
Anyway, sounds like you have it figured out and just wanted to vent.
They are having multiple personalities hidden inside them.. don’t know which one will show up at that moment!!~
No, it’s not a multiple personality! It’s the same person. I always assume that people are going to remember the things I’ve told them, so it doesn’t occur to me to tell them something completely different a few days later. I guess she thinks we won’t remember?
Tell her if she doesn’t stop she’s going to end up being president.
Right?! I only commented on it that one. It’s just something I’m going to have to overlook. I’m trying to figure out why she does it.
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