General Question

babygalll's avatar

Friends and Family...

Asked by babygalll (2748points) August 21st, 2008

At times… Do you feel you can count on your friends more than your family? If so, why?

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17 Answers

cak's avatar

I’ve run into that. A few times and during big life-changing events. It’s hard and it stinks, when you finally realize that while your family may love you, they sure don’t step in and help or maybe it’s because they don’t know how to help you.

I love my family, very much. My parents and my sister; however, I’ve always been the one that is the rock.

When I needed to reach out to them. Nothing. It has improved, but more and more, I turn to friends more often, than I turn to my family. (first, I turn to my husband, then we reach out to friends)

I can’t really ask my parents for help anymore…there are too many health issues involved for them and they probably out weigh my problems! Just knowing from experience, though, that when I have reached out, it’s been met with silence or, “I sure wish we could help you out more, but we just can’t find the time to do anything to help you!”

My requests for help, have usually been because I either needed emotional support or help covering the bases for my kids. I have never asked for monetary help.

I love my family and have grown to understand them; however, I know where to go, when I need help and, it’s not them.

tinyfaery's avatar

Try all the time. Ever since I was a teenager I have always counted on others’ families, and my friends, more than I do on my own family. My family has always seemed so foreign and inaccessible to me. Plus, I don’t really trust them with the intimate details of my life. If my wife and I need anything we go to her family first, then our friends. We have never approached my family for anything.

wildflower's avatar

Yes. I don’t feel as relaxed and free to be me (whoever that may be today) around my family (with the exception of my brother) as I do around my friends. I actually feel my long-term friends know me better.

MacBean's avatar

Always always always. My friends chose me. My family is stuck with me. And that’s exactly how each group makes me feel.

Tantigirl's avatar

I find that my friends are the ones who give me the best kind of support if and when I need it. They are more likely to be keep their mouths shut when I need them to, and they tend to be less judgemental than my family. It is sad to say it, however I think my friends know me better than my family does.

poofandmook's avatar

I go to my family first, actually… my mom and I are pretty close when her boyfriend isn’t around, and my grandmother and I have always been extremely close. My dad and I finally have a decent relationship (in our family’s standards, that basically just means we don’t fight. No emotions, really).. but it depends on what kind of help I need. Advice is usually my grandmother. Money is Dad.

BarbieM's avatar

I’m an only child, and I think that makes a difference. My mom and I have never really seen eye to eye on anything. She loves me and is there for me, but definitely doesn’t get me. My dad just isn’t the type to talk about things though I know he loves me. Since I don’t have siblings, I’ve always counted on my friends. Fortunately, I have had some really great friends in my life.

mzgator's avatar

If I have a problem, my husband is there for me for anything I need. My mom and dad are very good grandparents, and they would do anything for me, my husband or daughter. My brother lives in my neighborhood, and I can count on him and his family.

marinelife's avatar

Oh, yes. There are some things some does not want to discuss with family members.

Also, like cak, my family is more likely to tun tome for help than to help me.

I have long wished that it weren’t true, but it is so you move on, love them as they are, a plan accordingly.

jlm11f's avatar

It’s balanced for me. Sometimes, I just can’t discuss situations with my family and I turn to friends for the venting. They know the kind of person I am and are able to give me advice that they know I can actually agree with. But likewise, there are many events where I trust no one but my family to be there to support me and help me through. My parents have gone through various sacrifices for me and my brother, and I respect them for that. Ultimately, I know if I ever need help in any kind of life or death situation, every single one of them would be waiting ready to be there for me.

bridold's avatar

In all honesty, nope – never.

No one is more important or closer to me than my family, not even friends that I’ve had forever.

I’ve noticed that most of my friendships seem conditional at times. My family are the only people who have never, ever, let me down and I’ve been let down several times by friends.

Mexicanamerican's avatar

it depends on the situation, I find my fam wants the best for me and they don’t want me to get hurt so their answer is to just move on. Friends will help me realize both sides of my problem

augustlan's avatar

Friends are my chosen family.

hammer43's avatar

well as for family I’m the rock so if I sink I’m alone and goner so I can’t depend on family at all, and friends well that is a no as well so I can only depend on myself sad but very true case in point about twenty years ago I was in the hospital and when the nurses asked if they could call someone for me well I said no not really and they looked at me feeling sorry for me, well when my sister lived in the same state she came one to see me in the hosp. just to borrow my car and of course when I got out of the hosp. I had to track her down to get my car back yes I rely on myself.

Eureka's avatar

Family. My family has ALWAYS been there for me, and I for them. It has extended outward to aunts, uncles, kids, grandkids. I think it is my German/Irish heritage – when my grandmother was alive, every holiday was a family command performance. We were brought up to believe that helping, no matter what the problem is, is just what family does.

DevilDiva's avatar

I can count on my friends more than my family. I hate asking my sister for anything because she always asks a high price in return. I don’t really know my brother at all. My mother, well, let’s just say we get along better on the phone than we do face to face. My father is busy with his new wife. My friends are always there for me, no matter what, just as I’m always there for them. Besides the fact, there are things that I can tell my closest friends that I can’t tell my family.

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

For me, it’s kind of a grey area. I love my family, but I’ve seen their flaws, I’ve had my share of arguments with them over various things. My friends are my friends because they can relate to me (and the other way around) and can give me help/advice when my family can’t.

But at the same time, there are some things you just need your family for. Friends can’t be there to help you all the time – it’s not good to be completely reliant on them, you just become a burden. Your parents, no matter what your relationship, want to give you the best they can for support and love.

When I was going through a rough time in college, the first person I called was my mom. My friends were really helpful in their own ways, but it was my mom who I could really count on to help make things right.

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