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Yellowdog's avatar

Did you ever fall in love with, have a secret crush on, or become infatuated with, someone you thought was unattainable -- but later found out that they weren't?

Asked by Yellowdog (8002points) 1 month ago

I had several intelligent and covetable GF’s in high school, I now realize. So I shouldn’t complain. But the sweetest fruit that seemed so unattainable (I didn’t do well in school and felt inferior) often times were more available than I realized.

Every once in a while, I’ll find someone on Facebook or at a Class Reunion. Or someone recognizes me in public. Turns out they had no idea I had a crush on them all those years ago, would have reciprocated, and their lives pretty much turned out like everyone else. The people they married really weren’t that much better or more different than I am.

Even in High School, a guy friend of mine was friends with a girl who knew my secret crush really well. To my dismay, my friend’s friend told the girl that I had a crush on her or really liked” her , and I was devastated—but my friend (and his female friend) said she didn’t have the averse reaction I expected. She was very surprised and had no idea I liked her. She didn’t express anything disdainful about me, except she didn’t plan on dating until after high school. My friends encouraged me to ask her out. I never did.

There were several others I could tell about, But its your turn. It is interesting to wonder what we might have missed. Then again, everyone I knew, whether I considered them vastly superior to me or “to be avoided”—most turned out quite ordinary.

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18 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes. And then he was attainable and he was a huge disappointment.

Yellowdog's avatar

That actually makes a lot of sense.

They are unattainable or seem so. But when you find out they’re not, you jump at the chance in earnest, thinking this one will make your life complete. But then the reality of who they are sets in. Very ordinary, or very sub-ordinary, or you rue the day…

Dutchess_III's avatar

He was a hell of an athlete, a hell of a coach….but we could not relate intellectually at ALL. So we just saw each other a couple times a month, when I didn’t have the kids for the weekend, and we just hung out playing grown ups. That went on for 10 years.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Dutchess_III haha, I second that. I had a huge crush on a popular handsome martial artist and finally got to date him and was incredibly disappointed. (terrible in the sack and a jerk, too)

Dutchess_III's avatar

At least mine wasn’t a jerk! Just dumb. And terrible in the sack too. He had not the faintest clue about women, and when I finally taught him he never did really believe me. He had a large penis, however, of which he was very proud.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Dutchess Hahahaha!!!!!

zenvelo's avatar

I found out on the last day of high school. Sharon Anderson sat next to me all of Fall Semester. She signed my yearbook with, “oh, why didn’t you ask me out? I so wanted to go out with you.”

She left town two days later.l

Yellowdog's avatar

I guess I like any story about how love turned out. Or didn’t. Especially those way back in times reflected on with nostalgia and pensiveness.

But thanks, @zenvelo— I was hoping to keep the gist of the question as you did—about desiring but thinking someone was out of your league or would reject you, or maybe you were too shy, so you never even tried—and later found out that maybe it would have worked. Thanks

You cover another painful aspect here—someone actually DOES reciprocate (too late in your case) , but they move away. That hurts a lot, even moreso if you never tried. ,Yes, yours wuld have moved away anyway, but at least a few dates and memories would have been made / cherished.

Then, there are those who were met only once and no phone number was asked for or no possibility of future contact, and that one was never seen again.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Mostly it was the other way around. Men thought I was unattainable. If we did get together they would get nervous every time another man was near.
There was this one time, and it is awfully funny. Too bad things didn’t click.
I was twenty-eight, and decided to go back to college and give it a real go. I signed up for an electronics program for robotics. Because technical writing is part of the requirements, I first had to take creative writing.
Now, I should point out that most of my classmates were a decade younger than me. Also, right after deciding I would do this, I found out I was pregnant. I signed up anyway. By the time school began, I was third trimester, and I am one of those women who carry their baby way out there. I looked like Hitchcock with very long hair.
One of our first writing assignments was to partner up and have a conversation. We then had to write everything we learned about that other person.
I got paired with this athletic, redheaded, fresh – from – high school boy. Picture Shaun White a little thinner and a little taller, back when he was eighteen. We had a great conversation, and both of us laughed a lot.
Because I was huge and full of baby, and ten years older, I thought I could flirt my ass off and it would be all harmless fun.
HE FLIRTED BACK.
So, then what? It was wrong, but he was SO CUTE. He was a good kisser too. Geez I shoulda stuck around. He made me afraid.

ragingloli's avatar

Of course not.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Patty_Melt Careful with redheads, they are my nemesis….lol Good story!

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Someone02's avatar

I have a story that actually ended up well:

There was this girl in my class. The moment I saw her it was instant crush. She was beautiful and seemed to be a really nice person. The more I saw her the more perfect she seemed. She was popular and beautiful (aka way out of my league) but one day I got the courage to talk to her and she didn't seem to dislike me. So I told her I had a crush on her. She didn't react that bad but said she didn't had the same feelings for me. We never talked much after that. Next year I still had that crush, so I kept on trying to know her more, but always knew deep down that a girl like her would never look at someone like me. Turns out that on our last year, she told me she always wanted to know me and talk to me (in a friendly way) but was having some problems at the time. That's why she never talked to me, even when I tried. We started to talk more after that, and now we kinda are friends. I am not disappointed by her personality because it matches with how I thought she would be. She is indeed super nice to others and very funny and friendly.

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