Social Question

Patty_Melt's avatar

To make a matched set, what would be classed as urgent and funny?

Asked by Patty_Melt (17513points) September 12th, 2019

The urgent but not life threatening question took a turn, so let’s just go with it.
How funny can urgent get?
Let er rip!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

8 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Trying to hide that you crapped oneself in the middle of the supermarket while asking for the washroom key. Or while giving the state of the union address live.

YARNLADY's avatar

Having too much to drink and the line is too long to get in the restroom.

A diaper failure with an infant on a crowded bus.

On a plane with bathrooms full and a motion sick child.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I found a lot of different meanings, for “matched set.”

Can the OP, clarify?

kritiper's avatar

The president of the United States is giving his State of the Union address. During a slight lull, a fart is heard.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I’m sorry, grimmy. I thought my details clarified. This question is many to go one step closer to humor than the question already asked about what is urgent, but not life threatening. If you read down that thread you will see we sort of took a sharp turn away from being serious. So, my question is meant to compliment that one, in that it is a same basic subject, but scewed more towards ridiculous. Of course, we are all sick to our eyeballs of the political slant on everything, so let’s just give that shtuuph a break.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Ok. I have a true story.

My ex, and I were together, for about 5 years. I get a bit gassy, in the morning. For 3 years, when she slept over, the next morning was always difficult. Morning farts, are usually the worst but mainly loud with no odor. I always either held them in, or left the room for awhile, and let them out. I obviously didn’t want her to hear me fart…

One morning, after a heavy night of drinking, and eating, lots of different things, we woke up, and were just talking, and laying in bed. I had, what I thought was a brilliant idea. I told her “ear muffs.” And put both my hands on her ears. I had been holding in a big one. So. With my hands on her ears, I let ‘er rip. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just gas… I had “sharted.”
Not a lot… Maybe a teaspoon. So there I was, with my hands on her ears, and a teaspoon of doo door butter, between my cheeks… Luckily, I had my boxers on, but otherwise, it had become aninteresting situation… I released her ears.
Not sure what to do, I told her I needed to go check some laundry that I had put in, before we went to bed the night before. The look on her face, told me, that we both new what happened… I gripped my butt cheeks together, and slowly, every so slowly, crept backwards out of the room. And headed for the restroom. This was my old house, where I lived in a converted garage. So I had to walk threw a joining room to the rest of the house, through the living room, and down the hall, to get to the restroom.
Well. We also had multiple friends that slept in the living room that night. All were up, and about, making breakfast, and talking etc. So. I had to walk (obviously awkwardly, through the crowd, and then, the bathroom, was occupied. So. I stood in the hall, and waited another 15 minutes, for the bathroom. All the while. It became pretty obvious, that everyone knew approximately what I was up to…

I took care of business, showered, and changed.

When I left the bathroom, all my friends were still laughing at me. And then I returned to the bedroom.
My ex was still there, in bed. We didn’t really talk about it… But she opined, that that was an awful long time, to check on laundry…

And I missed out on morning sex, for obvious reasons…

It seemed like such a great plan, at first. I would just cover her ears, and not have to suffer gas pain every morning, or the embarrassment of my morning flatulence.

This episode falls under the categoryof EPIC FAILURE…

Seeing as how the maiden voyage, of my brilliant idea, went about as good as the Titanic’s, I did not attempt the strategy again. And so. I suffered for the next few years. Like the one’s before that fateful morning. Not unlike the crumpled wreck of the once famous ocean liner, at the bottom of the sea. And similarly to the failure of the multi-bulkhead systems, that were supposed to make the Titanic unsinkable, my small intestine, colon, and sphincter, had failed.

The incident, is now a part of history. And is brought up, from time to time, as one of the best intentioned disasters, in history. It’s still a laughing stock, at my expense, every now and then, when my friends and I get to talking about embarrassing moments of our past…


Patty_Melt's avatar

What a grim tail.

one sentence triple pun. Sweet!

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther