General Question

cd7301's avatar

Ive asked this question before, but I need more point of views. If your religion teaches you not to marry someone who isn't the same religion as you, but you're deeply in love with this person, what should you do?

Asked by cd7301 (61points) August 28th, 2008 from iPhone


Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

battlemarz's avatar

Stop believing everything religion teaches you. Do what you feel is right for you and don’t take influence from anyone else. If you are asking that question I’m sure it means that you don’t completely agree with that teaching, and if you don’t then why follow it.

Les's avatar

If my religion dictated whom I should marry, I would get a new religion.

flameboi's avatar

Forget the religion issue! (I mean, why do we have to tag people!)

charybdys's avatar

Stop believing in everything that TV teaches you about love too. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? How will you raise children? How will your families feel? Being in love is great, but marriage isn’t easy. Its easy to say, go for it, but can you really do it? If you will be unhappy leaving your religion behind, it will make things much harder. Also will you family disown or shun you? That can be hard too.

augustlan's avatar

I’d need more details to answer this Q. For similar religions it’s not such a problem between the married couple. I was raised a christian, and I married a jewish man. We, ourselves really didn’t have any problem with that, though older relatives did. If your religions taught you wildly different values and views of the world, I expect it’d be a different story.

Judi's avatar

You need to examine what your definition of love is. If love is that feeling of euphoria that makes you unable to think straight, then you could be headed for trouble. This, in the end is a personal decision. I was deeply in love with my first husband and compromised on the faith issue. When things got tough in our life it was really hard. He had some mental health issues and although I leaned on my faith to get through it, life would have been much easier if we had been leaning on OUR faith together. He eventually committed suicide. Really tragic. I learned that no matter how wonderful a person was the fire can’t burn so hot forever. When the magic dims, what else is left? For me it was my faith. When I remarried I determined not to compromise on the faith issue. I also determined not to put myself in a position where I could fall in love with someone who didn’t share my faith. A relationship is possible and sustainable without a shared faith, but it is a heck of a lot easier if you’re in sync.

cd7301's avatar

Thankyou for those last two responses, I was starting to regret posting this question because clearly, the first four responses are from those who don’t practice a formal religion.

Les's avatar

@cd: I do practice a formal religion, I take offense to your assuming I do not.

augustlan's avatar

CD, what are the religions involved, and which one is yours?

punkrockworld's avatar

Exactely, do what you feel is best for you but make sure that your partner isn’t too extreme in his beliefs so that it doesnt form a problem. You should always follow your heart because otherwise you’ll never find true happiness.

Poser's avatar

I see from your previous question that you are a Christian. I don’t know of any Christian denominations that prohibit marrying someone of a different faith. Could you give us more details?

loser's avatar

Find a new religion and get married already!

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

I would like a little more information, like how old are the two of you? What religions are involved? How long have you been together?

But I don’t have the answers, so I’ll make a ‘general’ answer.

What does your faith say about his/her faith? Does one of you believe the other is going to hell? If so, this is a lot of pressure on both of you. You to ‘save’ him/her—him/her to defend his faith. Can you be tolerant and respectful of each others faith? You have the best chance of a good union of partners and if your faiths require respect of each partner’s spiritual goals. Then this can lead to the recognition of the divinity of all members of the family and be an great interfaith marriage.

The down-side is that the different faiths could lead to conflict between you two or between you-two and extended family, indirectly affecting the children. Differences in belief could also cause children to be confused and perhaps lost entirely from religion. And the family could lose the social support of their faith communities.

So only you are going to know if the price is worth it. Also as an aside. Faith is in our hearts. Religions, all of them, are man made—and all the rules, therein, are man-made.

So both of you look at ALL these things, weigh them, evaluate every possible consequences—and if you marry, do so with hope and love, give it your all, don’t explain yourself to anyone else [because its between you two and your God], don’t second-guess yourself after the marriage, and leave it in the hands of your God.

JackAdams's avatar

If you have to choose between your religious beliefs and the person you love, then you don’t REALLY know the meaning of LOVE, and shouldn’t marry anyone, until you do.

That’s not a personal remark for you, specifically. That’s a remark directed at EVERYONE, without exception.

August 28, 2008, 7:23 PM EDT

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

JackAdams….how is that? Could you expand?

JackAdams's avatar

Your LOVE for another person should be much more important to you, IMHO, than ANY religious indoctrinations or beliefs.

“Your put your woman FIRST, to make your relationship LAST!”

August 28, 2008, 8:10 PM EDT

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

JackAdams, thanks for answering, I understand now where you are coming from…but could you answer hypothetically——if you strongly believed in a religion, and your religion said you could not marry outside your faith. But you strongly loved a girl outside your religion… in those parameters, what ‘should’ you do?

JackAdams's avatar

I apologize for not giving you the kind of answer you may expect from me, because I really cannot conceive of me ever putting my religious beliefs, such as they are, “before” a human being of whom I am fond.

But, pretending, I guess I would say that IF I held such strong religious beleifs, I’d probably consult with a clergy-person representing that faith, to see if there was some kind of “loophole” that would allow me to have the woman of my dreams, while being able to hold onto my personal religious dogma.

Failing that, I guess, knowing what kind of person I am, I’d “shop around” for another religion that was more “accepting” of my romantic choices.

I have relatives who are Jewish, and married to Christians. I also have Jewish relatives who are married to Atheists.

I hope I’ve answered your hypothetical question in an acceptable manner, and apologize, if I have not.

August 28, 2008, 9:28 PM EDT

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

Thanks JackAdams, I would do much the same…as I said, faith is one thing, everything religious is manmade.

JackAdams's avatar


August 28, 2008, 9:53 PM EDT

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