General Question

windex's avatar

If an average guy was put in the middle of an endless crowd of Zombies and given a samurai sword, how long do you think he would last before getting too tired to cut their limbs and heads off?

Asked by windex (2932points) August 28th, 2008


-These Zombies move really slow, they can not run (so you have a few seconds to rest between each strike)
-They are coming towards you from all directions
-It can be day or night (with lights) but the hot sun or cold weather is not a factor
-The sword is not heavy (light-average weight)
-You are wearing comfortable clothing
-The ground is a flat surface, nowhere to hide (earth not asphalt, and not dry or muddy)
-You are not too thin or too fat, are rested and not hungry, but not too full either (you are carrying some power bars just in case though, 1/50 zombies are carrying Clean bottled water, in case you get thirsty)
-You can only kill them with your sword
-You can use dead zombies to (build a wall, hill etc.) but I’m assuming that is not a good idea…)
-There are no other weapons/equipments you can use/get to. No trees, no buildings to vehicles. Just an endless flat land/eath.
-There is no chopper coming

*If nighttime, the light is not from any source you can reach. (ex. you can not climb a lamp post)

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29 Answers

2late2be's avatar

I would kill myself only LOL

El_Cadejo's avatar

all i have to say is WTF!?!

JackAdams's avatar

Damn! I was gonna ask this one myself, and you beat me to it!

August 29, 2008, 1:55 AM EDT

RandomMrdan's avatar

wow…honestly, if it is an average person…I’d say probably a matter of a few minutes. I mean, you will have an adrenaline rush at first, but give it a few minutes for it to wear off. I’d say the average person would last no more than 15 minutes.

Now give your average person a few friends, some weapons and plenty of ammunition and some terrain advantage, you can probably rotate shifts for a very long time. so long as food wasn’t an issue I would feel rather safe with a locked up building and a roof up top to shoot the zombies.

I suggest you pick up the book “zombie survival guide” it’s rather funny.

I secretly hope zombies attack or there is an outbreak in a major city so I can put some of this knowledge to some practical use….just something about killing zombies and feeling no remorse is just awesome.

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

You wouldn’t last long at all. You might get one or two zombies, if you’re lucky. Even if you were martially trained and knew how to use a sword, the fact that you’re surrounded and fighting opponents that aren’t easily subdued by evisceration would screw you bug time. Slicing off limbs won’t do you any good, and the chances of your average schmuck landing a vorpal blow are slim to none. There is also the chance that your weapon will get stuck, which will leave you open to the zombie you just whacked (unless your blow killed it); if you did kill it, you still have to worry about all the other zombies coming at you as you try to yank the weapon out. You also run a significant risk of having the sword wrestled away from you, or just simply running out of room to be able to perform a decent swing as the zombies close in.

willbrawn's avatar

I totally love this question. Crazy

eeerrrahhhhh's avatar

I would assume it really depends on the level of decomposition of the zombies – if they have been dead for quite a long time it would be easy (so long as you are not queasy) to decapitate maybe a few dozen. If it is a lot of work to sever their heads – you will probably either get too tired after just a few, or there will be enough time for the crazed horde to grab you. I would go with 2late2be and try and cut my own head off

simone54's avatar

Damn you got me. I was gonna say climb a light post.

Maverick's avatar

I think I’ve done exactly this… Or no, wait… That was Resident Evil 4.

Randy's avatar

I think (as an average guy) I could last forever. I’d just do like in Shaun of the Dead and pretend to be a zombie. Then, I’d slowly kill them one by one while the others weren’t looking. When I got tired, I’d just fall over and pretend to be a dead zombie.

In all seriousness though, the sword would probably break first. Samurai swords were light weight and sharp but were thin and easily broke. That’s why many samurai carried several. Look at a picture, they are usually stocked with three or more swords of different sizes.

AstroChuck's avatar

I have to say that this may just be the most intelligent question on fluther to date. I’m going to sleep on this question so that I may give it some thought and tomorrow give it the deep answer that an intense and thought provoking question such as this one deserves..

JackAdams's avatar

Oh sure! Keep us in suspense, why don’t you, AC…

August 29, 2008, 6:54 AM EDT

makemo's avatar

Greatest odds of surviving would be to crawl under them, and be real quick.

Poser's avatar

Cutting off a head isn’t as easy as they make it look in the movies.

…not that I’d…know, or…

…whew!...Is it getting hot in here?

wundayatta's avatar

What kind of wimps are you people? Have you forgotten your “game mode” button? Just press that, and you have endless power to sweep that sword around, until every zombie is a bunch of mince meat. Of course, the mince meat would still be alive, crawling towards you (how does mince meat crawl? Never mind.) So you’d need to have a lot of pie shells ready. Then you’d make a hell of a lot of zombie pies. Quick question: does consuming zombie pie count as cannibalism? Note to self. Ask therapist, soonest.

Anyway, zombie pie crust has the strange capability of actually quieting down the zombies. Something about the letherols in the crust. (I dare you to google letherol—if you do, tell me what you find—that should be a hoot!) I read it in Family Circle magazine. Or was it Psychology Today? Never mind.

All right, so there you are, surrounded by acres of zombie pie. Now what do you do? Take it to a soup kitchen? Feed the federal government in Washington? What? It’s got to have some use. My recommendation: use it to fuel your rocket ship, and take a trip to Mars. Zombie pie is almost as good as rocket fuel as it is as politician gruel.

Ok, that’s enough advice for free. You want more? You gotta pay!

Darknymph's avatar

Oh dear, Necro, Wrestle if you’re observing this you’d maybe have some cheek answers here.

NecroKing's avatar

Well depending how skilled you are with the sword and how fast and how much stamina you can bear, maybe a while, Wrestle?

JacobHoHo's avatar

About 15 minutes or about 5–8 Zombies.
The time it would take to hack through their meaty necks would be longer than the time it would take for one to approach you..I think.
Even if they were really rotten, you would eventually tire out, and you would have to sleep sometime!
And as soon as you fell asleep the zombies would begin to feast upon your brains.

ArizonaPancakes's avatar

Well if he was smart, he would put down the sword and pretend to be a Zombie until the coast was clear or until someone tried to cut off his head and limbs. Thats what I would do.

willbrawn's avatar

@Arizonapancakes that works in theory but zombies can smell your fresh brian. They know your not a dead guy yet.

ArizonaPancakes's avatar

Wait a minute buddy, Im not up on all the latest Zombie theories. But you’re trying to tell me that a slobbering, revolting,mindless hunk of maggot eaten flesh can come to a decision weather or not I have a fresh brain? Thats not a Zombie,
That sounds like my EX.

RandomMrdan's avatar

haha, but zombies have a keen scent of smell when it comes to fresh human flesh and brains. They use their 5 senses much better than we do, well better in the way they rely on each one equally. Whereas we rely mostly on our eye sight and hearing. They rely on all their senses equally, so hope you’re not upwind from a pack of zombies, for they would catch the scent right away.

when the zombie apocalypse comes I know I’ll be ready.

ArizonaPancakes's avatar

sounds just like my ex! thanks for that, zombie apocalypse…bring it on!

Poser's avatar

Fortunately, my Brian is not fresh.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@poser obviously…ha

derekpaperscissors's avatar

… 6 hours, 12 minutes, and 42 seconds.

Anatelostaxus's avatar

it depends on how close the zombies are to the subject and,especially if they’ve encircled him in.

Anatelostaxus's avatar

If the average guy has a massive horde doing a mary-go-round about him, even at the swod’s reaching length, well..
in that case, the poor average guy is f***ed. (But the sword will just lay on the ground for the next survivor to continue the struggle with it.)

SABOTEUR's avatar

Sounds like the final scene in The One.

I’d say, if you ain’t Jet Li and you don’t have excellent stamina
less than 30 minutes.

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