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Dutchess_III's avatar

Would you help a person who had refused to help you decades earlier, in your time of need, and also shamed you and the life you found yourself in?

Asked by Dutchess_III (42292points) October 31st, 2019

Would you help that person out as much as you could in spite of the hurtful things they did and said so many years ago? For this argument, assume a family member.

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25 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

I would kneel down next to him, and watch him die, while he fruitlessly begs for help.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I guess I know THAT about you @ragingloli! LOL!

kritiper's avatar

No. Because what goes around, comes around.
That which you sow, so shall you reap.
Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Eat it!

snowberry's avatar

It would depend on the details. Assuming that person was not remorseful over their past behavior, I might help, but not if I needed to bring them into my home to do it. Otherwise, possibly yes.

My daughter is much like this, and I have gone above and beyond to help, including putting all my stuff in storage and moving in with her for 5 months so her daughter could have surgery so she could walk. When I left my daughter was mad at me. * sigh *

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, we tend to go above and beyond for our kids.

rebbel's avatar

I’m fortunate enough to say I’ve never been screwed so much before that I could even come close to get in a situation like that.

ragingloli's avatar

@Dutchess_III What can I say, I am a vengeful god.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t understand what you’re saying @rebbel. I didn’t get screwed by anyone. No one but me caused my situation. I caused it by miscalculation and because I made some mistakes that didn’t seem like mistakes at the time.
But I got myself up and out eventually.

rebbel's avatar

I meant that I’ve never been screwed (meaning, for me, being left hanging while is was in need of help).
I didn’t meant to say that you were screwed.
I thought you asked us what we would do.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I did ask what you would do. I thought your answer was suggesting that someone screwed me over and that’s what led to my poverty. They didn’t. She was simply disgusted with me. She’s a person who thinks only stupid and lazy people are poor.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Annnnd now she’s in need of a helping hand. I’ve sent $350 in the last month to help. She keeps giving God the credit!

josie's avatar

Family can occasionally make things difficult.

But before there were tribes, and societies and cultures and nations there were families.

There you go.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Right? Somehow in my family it became disgraceful for anyone to need help. It was not just my sister.
I hope this teaches her a little about compassion…. considering she’s a minister, LOL!

MrGrimm888's avatar

Dutch. You should help this person. Things like cancer, can be dealt with if it’s found sooner, than later. Drag her to the ER. If you have to…

Dutchess_III's avatar

She’s not physically ill. She’s broke, looking for work.

ragingloli's avatar

Maybe you should switch to sending her just “thoughts and prayers”.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! No. That does not help even a little bit.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Here’s another twist: Do I have the right to dictate what she spends the money that I send her on? I’ve told her several times to apply for food stamps and told her there are food pantries. She refuses.
I sent her $100 yesterday because she had a job interview last night. I wanted her to be able to get what she needed to help ensure a successful interview.
Today she sent me a text saying she was going to the grocery store to buy food with the money I sent her because all she had in the house was oatmeal and potatoes.
I want to tell her to buy cleaning stuff, toilet paper, toothpaste, stuff you can’t get with foodstamps! I don’t think I’m going to send her any more money if she’s going to spend it on something she can get for free (No preaching allowed about how it’s not “free.). I can’t afford it.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Dutch. You’re a great person. Don’t give this lady money. People take advantage of good people.
If you want to pay her to do something, that’s different. Give $50, to clean your house or something. But don’t just give her money. I love you, and I already don’t like this woman. You worked for your money.

What job, is she applying for? In other words, what skillset does she have?

Dutchess_lll's avatar

It’s my sister. In 57 years she’s never asked for help before.
She lives in California so she can’t “earn” the money.

I haven’t seen her in 15.years and we’ve rarely talked (she tends to monopolize conversations so I ignore her calls! I kind of shiver when I see it’s her.)

The good news is we don’t have enough money to allow people to really take advantage of us!

The jobs are spiritual counseling type things. She has a degree from a seminary. She thinks she has some direct line to God and is OMG so enlightened! It’s a bit nauseating, actually.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Well. Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of Dutch. Don’t “give” her money. That’s my opinion. It’s your money, and you found a way to make it. She can figure it out, on her own. Again, just much opinion.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Thanks @MrGrimm888. We Henson girls have always been hard working and resourceful. This is a temp situation that came upon her suddenly. I trust her to do the right thing with the money….except for sqaundering it on food without even trying public assistance! Damn girl! Get your rightous Christian head out your ass and do what you need to do! Maybe you’ll have some empathy in the future, instead of contempt, for people who fall on hard times in spite of their best intentions.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^That’s my Dutch…

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