General Question

LadyMarissa's avatar

Would you think to order a pizza if you were being abused?

Asked by LadyMarissa (9031points) 2 weeks ago

A lady in Oregon was in a domestic abuse situation. Her partner must have been a complete idiot. She called 911 to order a pizza & managed to get her message across to the 911 dispatcher who sent help to her home. The dispatcher also instructed the responding officers to turn off their siren on approach because the knock at the door was supposed to be a pizza delivery. Due to the fast thinking of this lady & the dispatcher, the abuser is behind bars & she’s safe (at least for now). During the time my ex was beating on me, I never thought to order pizza. Of course, back then, the law was on his side & I was told that I had no rights (unless he killed me). IF your spouse was hitting you, would you be aware enough to dial 911 to order pizza???

In all fairness, any of the guys who have an abusive partner, I ask you the same question.

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35 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I believe I would.
I took a photo of the man who walked into my bathroom while I was showering.
I did that one handed while wearing a towel on my front porch as he was walking down the street.
The policemen complimented my presence of mind.
I have posted about this before, still strangely amusing when i think about it
I have had other incidents with weirdos over the years but that one usually comes to mind first.
Always lock your car doors too…

Vignette's avatar

I saw this on tv last night and have to imagine it sadly happens more than we are aware.

MrGrimm888's avatar

A lot of women, have to get creative, when in a domestic violence situation. My hat, is off, to her. She could have also called 911, and simply let the phone be silent. The police will show up for that also…

LadyMarissa's avatar

^ I’m wondering how she talked the abuser into letting her order a pizza & why he didn’t notice that she dialed 3 numbers & not 7 numbers. The dispatcher also said that many of his colleagues said they would have assumed it was a drunk call & hung up on her. Good thing this dispatcher listened…in more ways than one!!!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@LadyMarissa -Maybe it was such a normal occurrence for them that he wouldn’t think much of taking a lunch break?
We don’t have kids but I have always thought that if we had daughters (or sons too, for that matter) they would learn some form of martial art from a young age.

jca2's avatar

Where I live, if you call 911 and you hang up, they are obligated to come check on things at the address. I don’t understand the dispatcher saying that the coworkers would have thought it was a drunk and hung up on them.

LadyMarissa's avatar

That part confused me too. Here, IF you hang up on them, they immediately call back to ask IF you’re OK & if you don’t convince them that everything is fine, they will send a car to the house to check on you. When I listened to the audio of her call, it seemed obvious to me that she was in danger. I think this dispatcher’s colleagues were trying to be polite & make him feel special. He caught on fast that she was in distress & asked the right questions so he’d know what to do to keep her safe.

jca2's avatar

Here they don’t even call you back, they just show up. What if they called you back and someone was there with a gun to your head, making you say everything was fine? It makes no sense to have them call you back and then let it go.

ucme's avatar

It doesn’t surprise me that this prick didn’t pick up on the pizza call.
These wife beating bastards are as dumb as they are vile.

johnpowell's avatar

There is a entertaining and horrible show called 9–1-1 that just had a episode where this very thing happened. It is a drama that is on in prime-time on a major network. I would not be all that surprised if the inspiration for the call was based on that. I remember it being a recent episode from within the last few months.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Partner abuse happens more than once, in general.
It is possible she suffered a number of occasions, wondering if there were any way to make him stop, or to get away.
She might even have started with an idea to actually order a pizza, and get a message out somehow with the delivery guy.

If she didn’t have dinner ready when he wanted, or if something burned, pizza would be an easy go to.

flo's avatar

She might have had that paln ahead of time.

si3tech's avatar

IMHO she was brilliant and quick thinking!! Good for her!

MrGrimm888's avatar

A lot of females, should never have been in a relationship with those guys, in the first place. The signs were there. They ignored them.
Now it’s time for a wolf, to enter the ring, with another wolf. And it’s often, a terrible scenario. The female, is often badly beaten, and the male is so charged up, that he’ll easily deal with a man entering the environment. I’ve personally dealt with this BS, dozens of times I went into situations, I had no abilities, to stop the male, by force. I did it. And I got some injuries, doing so. It was 99% of my job, at the time. I wouldn’t let a man, to continue beating up a girl. I didn’t give a fuck, how big they were. I restrained, or worse, all of them. Some where badly injured, after our altercation. It was what it was. ...Honestly, talking to the women who survived, I don’t care about those men, who attacthed them.
Fuck them.

Sagacious's avatar

It was her daughter who called 911 according to what I read a couple days ago. This happened in 2014.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@Sagacious According to the provided link, the woman called herself & it was on the news on Nov 22. 2019. Maybe this happened to someone else & I didn’t hear about it.

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flo's avatar

@MrGrimm888 So, the female who was being beaten up wasn’t even an adult? re. ”…man, to continue beating up a girl“_ If you reported it to the police, or some other authority, they would be looking for a 15 yr. old, or under.

flo's avatar

By the way another news outlelt said it her (daughter?)who dialed 911.

MrGrimm888's avatar

LEOs, largely deal with domestic violence. It’s like 85% of the job. Every night. It’s a stressful situation. I worked security, at a hotel in North Charleston, for almost 3 years. We had 150 rooms, and me. It happened almost all night. I get a call, that something bad was happening, in another room. I get to the door, and I can hear screaming, and furniture breaking. I tell the front desk, get the cops to room whatever. Then I kicked the door in. Response time, was usually around 5 minutes. I was a SLED officer, but unarmed. Just entering a room like that, you could feel the tension. Usually the female was naked, and beaten badly. The male would be in a crazed state of mind. I mean, he just beat his girlfriend/wife half to death, what’s a security guard, to him?

I couldn’t help myself, but be furious, after seeing what these assholes had done, to a female. So. I fought almost all of them. On Friday, and Saturday, it might have been 5 times, per night. I went to court, dozens of times, for brutality. Almost every time, the guy didn’t even show up. He posted bail, and left the area. I really just restrained them. Held them down, or whatever. Some of them attacked me. Sometimes, the female would try to hurt me, while I was dealing with the man. It was a crazy job. And I left it for many years, only to return again. This time, as the HOS, at large venues. In those places, it was largely a bunch of men fighting. But I was the boss, and had current/former Navy Seals, some people that worked Blackwater ops, under me. So. I had a lot of guys, that knew what they were doing, and followed my orders well. It was still challenging, but it was nothing like being alone, in a hostile environment.

But when it was time to get nasty, we hurt people. It was my job, to make sure it didn’t get to that point, or at least keep my guys from killing people. One of my guys was shot, and one of my guys killed a guy. I was personally stabbed, by a beer bottle, shot at, punched, kicked, you name it. I fought several men, who had knives, with a barstool…

I always read my room though. If there’s a female who is suddenly crying, I want to know why. All of my men understood that I wanted information. I had the final say, in how to handle any situation. But they better have knowledge, before they come to me. I want intelligence. Why was the guy happy 20 minutes ago, and now he’s pissed? I trained them all to read their room. Make eye contact with everyone, and monitor any changes. If there’s a change, go talk to them, and then come talk to me. Are they drugged up? Do they have a visible weapon? What are they upset about? Who else is with them? This was information, I expected to have, before going into the situation.

People see bouncers, as dumb, strong guys. I didn’t tolerate those guys. I would fire their ass, in a heart beat. Some tried to challenge me, about why they were let go… My boss always supported me, and whatever actions, I deemed necessary.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@flo Link please…I’d love to see it.

flo's avatar

…Here is a source I’m familiar with unlike the one above.

JLeslie's avatar

I hope I would think of it. I hope the 911 operator would figure it out.

Were you asking if it would be suspicious to the abuser? For instance, let’s say my husband was beating me up (I can’t imagine this ever happening) then for me to take the time to order pizza might seem odd. Maybe, maybe not. I think people who are abused often try to make things as normal as possible in hopes of calming down the situation.

jca2's avatar

What I heard on the radio was that the daughter of the woman who was being abused is the one who called 911. Therefore, the hubby might not suspect it was anything weird. I agree for sure, if someone’s getting beat up and then picks up the phone to order pizza, it’s weird.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I can’t speak for females. But building a case, against an abuser, is important. They need to call the cops, and get reports written, about each incident. The more incidents that build up, the stronger any case will be, as far as any legal action. There shouldn’t be ANY physical threats, or harmful actions, by a man. The more that get documented, the stronger the female’s case grows. If you want a restraining order, or law enforcement involment, you need to start building a case. Each incident, should be reported, and documented. It will make any court decision easy. And maybe the SOB, should be locked up. I know that fear is an issue, and that females think they are isolated incidents. But they need to protect themselves. Often, this type of abuse, will progress. And the abuse will get worse. Because the male is facing no ramifications.
He has physical power. The female has legal power. The legal system, will eventually override, his physical power.

I found, though experience, that the male’s abuse, will simply grow. Document these issues. He WILL end up, in prison. Where he belongs.

A common theme I dealt with, was the female not wanting the male to end up in prison. A common theme of being a LEO, was that the fucker, should be in prison.
A man who beats his girl, has a problem. If they really loved the girl, they would die to protect them. Not hurt them…

flo's avatar

@MrGrimm888 Why do you only think it’s a horrid thing if the female is a minor, a ”girl”?
A man who beats hos girl could ne his daugter.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^I did not intend for my opinions, to reflect only on underage females.

flo's avatar

@MrGrimm888 Does using the word “woman” “women” when referring to adult female/s cause misunderstanding?

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Well. I guess so. Or. Maybe I should point out that I say “girl” a lot, when referring to females. It’s been pointed out to me, several times, on Fluther, that that is not the appropriate term for a woman.
Interestinglyenough, the term “boy,” is considered a racial slur, to African Americans.

flo's avatar

You have to help me to stop just making noise, @ MrGrimm88” Let me say things like:
“I undermine adult females by referring to them as “girls”, i.e that they are not mature enough to be taken seriously, etc. I should stop doing that since it is against all my female sister/s mother the others dot dot dot .

MrGrimm888's avatar

For me, it’s just a way of talking. There is no disrespect intended.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^The like just goes back to this thread.

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