General Question

RandomMrdan's avatar

What's with girls and dating losers?

Asked by RandomMrdan (7436points) September 1st, 2008

I always see girls dating complete losers…I have no idea why this is. Intelligent women I know, dating loserish guys who have no job, are ghetto as hell (too much MTV, BET, etc). I honestly find myself flabbergasted sometimes with the tools women date.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I’m glad they do. Since I kinda fit into the loser demographic.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

guys date losers too! why is ppl only seem to rag on girls about this?

the only thing i can say is we don’t realize they’re losers until it’s tooo late (see my last question for my details! yay!)

RandomMrdan's avatar

if you spent a shred of time with them and their friends, I’m sure you could put it together pretty quick….I dont recall dating loser girlfriends…just eventually irritating ones.

RandomMrdan's avatar

I guess at first their overwhelming “cool” aspects seem to overwhelm any sort of loserish attribute for a bit….and for some women, months to years I’m sure.

rss's avatar

I agree with la chica gomela – I see guys date terrible (IMO) women all the time. I think this is more an issue with perception. Girls who are stupid but beautiful are not considered “losers” and men who are intelligent but ugly are not “losers” either. Obviously that is as much a generalization as the original question is, but I get frustrated by the double standards too.

RandomMrdan's avatar

I never said ugly…I said loserish…jobless, thuggish, etc.

rss's avatar

I’m just making the point – what you see as a negative is not necessarily a negative for other people. Who cares if someone doesn’t have a job if they are supporting himself in another way? Or if he is “thuggish” but still treats his girlfriend well?

torisecret's avatar

I wish I had the answer to that…then I wouldnt date losers!hahahaha

RandomMrdan's avatar

you’re right, anyone half intelligent can clearly see a good future with a thug. Or someone motivated to work and make a living.

RandomMrdan's avatar

not sure how so many people…men included can see past things like that.

doscrash's avatar

I think it’s a confidence issue. Men who are deadbeats or with no ambition don’t have anything to lose and act as if they don’t care. Women are drawn to that

marinelife's avatar

Gee RandomMrdan what a shame we don’t all have your perceptiveness and sense of keen judgment. (Guess that makes us losers, too, huh?)

Really, all the women should probably be lining up outside your door waiting to date a fine guy like you who makes judgments about others based only on superficial outside knowledge.

tedibear's avatar

And sometimes, people get tired of searching for the right person and they “settle.”

hearkat's avatar

I tend to see the potential within the person, and fall in love with the diamond-in-the-rough. Unfortunately, they often don’t see in themselves what I see in them, and their lack of self-confidence holds them back.

My beau recently had someone who had never met me comment that “he could do better” based on photographs of me because I’m overweight. How do you make judgements on someone you don’t know?

How well do you know these girls and/or “losers” that you are making these judgements about?

ninjaxmarc's avatar

They like the bad boy image.

It’s a fantasy to be with that bad boy.
The one you know that’s bad for you but you can’t help but take on the challenge and try to change them for the better.

Never works.

Poser's avatar

What can I say? I’m just that charming.

generalspecific's avatar

a lot of girls (including myself) have this awful habit of lowering their standards.
if a guy shows interest in a girl first, even though he may not be their ideal, the girl will give him a chance anyway.
that’s just my opinion though.
and past experience D:

flameboi's avatar

We love to try to save that person been there, done that

allengreen's avatar

People are attracted to people most similar to them selves. Girls that like loosers are most likely loosers themselves, at least based on my 20 yrs experience dating and living in resort areas.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Girls like bad boys and losers because in a primal sense they want someone who can be a good protector, also a forceful man who can take charge and do things his way. To also buck the system. Then, in a way, they can buck it too but from the safety of riding his coat tails.

The bad boy provides spark and flash. Like pulling up to the curb in a flashy sports car, and having everyone ooh and coo over it. That moment of gratification makes you forget all the times it crapped out on you when you needed it and left you stranded. Bad boys give that slight element of risk. And the drama of always something coming up. Why women say they want the nice guy with a good job and a home in the burbs with a white picket fence is beyond me.

The bad boy/loser offers the girl a chance to “save” him from his destructive ways. If she brings him around after cleaning him up and everyone’s jaws drop because they can not believe it is he. She can puff up in pride that SHE was the one who re-invented him. Thus making her MORE women than those others who tried but failed. She and she alone, had the mojo to straighten him out and make him into something.

Opposites attract like gas to a match, but after the flame is gone you have just a burn out dark spot. That is why most guys I know of have the bag girl when they want fun. But then it is time to settle down and take her home to mom; you get the good girl.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther