Social Question

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

How do you deal with an individual that constantly denies reality?

Asked by lucillelucillelucille (34325points) May 8th, 2020

In your personal life?
What about the workplace?
Do you discuss (loudly) or not bother at all?
Boxing match?

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44 Answers

stanleybmanly's avatar

You mean like our President?

josie's avatar

Fact is, you really can’t really deal with such folks. So to the extent that it is humanly possible, I just don’t.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@josie -So a boxing match is out of the question?

elbanditoroso's avatar

What is reality?

My reality may not be his—when you say he is ‘denying reality’ you are really saying that his view of the world doesn’t match yours.

That doesn’t make him wrong. It might make YOU wrong.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I accept his reality as his truth and consider him a good friend. I’m not sure why he feels the need to embellish or outright lie, but I think it’s deep-rooted insecurity. Just love them through it, I suppose, and don’t take what they say as gospel.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@elbanditoroso – Existence exists outside of one’s ability to perceive it. Don’t confuse world views with actual reality.
A is A. A cannot be A & B at the same time. Law of reality.
Picture a train speeding down the track.
One can deny it’s existence and place one’s head firmly in it’s path but we all know the outcome of that reality.
One denies reality at their own peril.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille sounds like Ayn Rand in Atlas Shrugged,

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@elbanditoroso – and existence existed before Ayn Rand and Aristotle ;)

filmfann's avatar

Boxing matches are often misjudged. Even the three judges cards rarely match.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@filmfann – That’s why it should be done in private. XD

Patty_Melt's avatar

I say, “Stanley, you’re wrong”, and I move on to another question.

stanleybmanly's avatar

“Constantly denies reality”

Before you move on you might consider whether or not he really is a “stable genius”, the pandemic “is a hoax”, “it will soon melt away.” Is he “the greatest President since Lincoln”, was his inauguration distinguished with “the greatest attendance in the history of the country”, is Obama really a Kenyan citizen who bugged Trump’s house? Will the Mexicans pay for the wall? Do both “both sides have fine people”?

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sorry @stanleybmanly, that was funny, had to laugh. :D

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@stanleybmanly -I’m not talking about anything of a political nature or anything open to interpretation in this case.
This was an event that was caused directly by the person in question.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Now all of you know the sinister ms. Melt DELIBERATELY tripped my switch. She poked me with her pitchfork then went and hid to peek at the eruption. But the point is not how DO you deal with an individual that constantly denies reality. How SHOULD you deal with someone who consistently denies reality—vote for him?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@stanleybmanly -That Patty melt’s answer was a funny :)

kritiper's avatar

You step back and let them get run over.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@kritiper – Not a bad plan :)
But there’s never a speeding train around when you need one.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@raum-I wish it were that easy.

raum's avatar

Is it possible to avoid them?
5150’s are rarely easy. :(

stanleybmanly's avatar

No. You reward him with a second term!

Inspired_2write's avatar

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/denial/art-20047926

Note that it states one resson why in denial is the thought of losing control..I suppose that’s Trumps motive?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@raum With the person I am thinking of, sure. They are able to function quite well in society and know when to reign it in.

stanleybmanly's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille For the life of me, I cannot believe you could ask such a question without the fool coming immediately to mind. Tell the truth. Didn’t it occur to you?

cookieman's avatar

In my case, I thought it was normal.

Didn’t everybody’s mother think most people were out to get them? Didn’t your mom switch from goofy child to frightening rage on a dime? Don’t all moms never apologize or recognize any wrong-doing on their part? Does your mother tell other people you’re amazing but tells you you’re a piece of shit and shouldn’t have been born? Aren’t all moms pathological liars, even about the smallest things?

No?!

Then why the hell am I putting up with this?

(that was about 35 years of my life in a nutshell)

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@cookieman -Your description of your mother sounds similar to the person I am thinking of.
The one I know is a covert narcissist and dealing with them on anything close to a normal level is next to impossible.
I know this person well and deal with them only when I wish to have a throbbing headache.
I hope you don’t have to deal with that bullshit anymore.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@stanleybmanly -It was not a political question but one about people one has dealt with and know personally.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Social distance (((....HUGS….)))
WOW!
Look what happens when I put the phone away for a bit!

Oh phooey social distance. I have a hot kiss for you when you can handle it, Stanmyman!

stanleybmanly's avatar

You out to get me pregnant? You think that will shut me up?

Patty_Melt's avatar

Don’t worry. I shoot blanks wink wink

ucme's avatar

Poke fun & hope they go away.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ucme -I wish it were that easy.

ucme's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille I’m sure it must be exhausting, I offer tea & sympathy.
Care for a scone? :D

kritiper's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Just find a busy street corner where there are lots of big, long 18 wheeler dump trucks running up and down the road. Walk right up with Mr. Reality Denier and stand on the exact curb on the corner. Make sure you-know-who is right there on the curb with you. Then when one of those big ass dump trucks rounds the corner and the back wheels come up over the curb, step back.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@ucme -Sure. It sounds like less torture—or maybe not—:)
@kritiper -A truck would probably lose if it hits her.XD

Inspired_2write's avatar

@cookieman
That sounds like a mental issue…Your mother possibly has bi polar or something else?
It is sad that children are caught up in that..where was the father, could he had helped?
Or did the father disappear because of her behaviors?
Hope that you got counselling for yourself to realize where her anger really came from not you but perhaps her husband or father figure in her life.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Use Pavlov’s theory.
“I bought truffles, want one?”
When your somebody says something stupid, excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
When they are doing good, share truffles, or cheaper, go with Milk Dud’s.

cookieman's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille: I’m sorry about that. I hope you can see them as little as possible. I don’t see her anymore. It’s been ten years. Although she did leave me a voicemail last year, out of the blue, just to threaten me.

@stanleybmanly: It was not fun.

@Inspired_2write: It was. She got diagnosed with something when I was a kid, but refused treatment and stopped going to counseling. Instead she chain smoked and took a lot of valium. Dad was always around, but he was easily manipulated by her, hopelessly in love, and deathly afraid of being alone.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@cookieman -Thanks. I have no plans to.

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