General Question

luigirovatti's avatar

Is it possible to manipulate a person to love you?

Asked by luigirovatti (2321points) May 13th, 2020

If it is, that’s sad. Especially if the other half doesn’t love you. What can be hoped for that person, then?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

SEKA's avatar

If you pretend to be somebody that you’re not, you might convince them that they love you. Sadly, that love will only last for as long as you can pretend. At some point, they will see your ruse and fall out of love with you. Many players have this ability. They can see exactly what it is that you need at the time and they will give it to you. I see it as a form of being a control freak narcissist. All they really want is what you are willing to give them. Stop fawning over them and they will be gone as they need the attention

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yeah, I find what @SEKA described to be pretty common. Lots of people in this world will pretend to be whatever you want in an attempt to earn your love. And I don’t think it’s always malicious, I think a lot of people are so crippled by their aloneness and lack of sense of who they are that they’re truly willing to be anything that will get them love. It just isn’t realistic to live that way, eventually all of those things they’re trying to hide are going to come pouring out and that will end badly.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Sad? I don’t agree. Clearly it’s how we are wired. Love, lust, seduction. The 3 are so jumbled up that I think you can manipulate someone into believing they love you or is
it I believe you can manipulate someone into thinking they love you? So yes. But is that necessarily bad? As often as not, it’s impossible to discern in any couple who is or has manipulated whom. Is it manipulation if the behavior is recognized yet encouraged? What is temptation?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Sociopaths have that creepy skill.

Inspired_2write's avatar

I suppose what seems like love at first where everyone goes through the infatuation stages it could be actually manipulation to get something from one.

Most times its inexperienced men who want multiple women to teach them in the sexual arena so that they come off as the best lover..some ideal that these types aspire to.

Example:Lawrence Olivier

Quote: “He’s like a blank page and he’ll be whatever you want him to be. He’ll wait for you to give him a cue, and then he’ll try to be that sort of person.”

He was quoted as saying to a close friend:

” Women are dispensable,they come by the bus load and when one bus is gone another bus comes comes to replace the first one”

That tidbit was quoted to me several times by the mother of the boyfriend who did that to me and several others. I finally learned how to answer that quote to her..

“Women can wait for the next busload of men as well, it works for both..right?”

She was enabling her adult son with that stupid callous quote to all his girlfriends..making it a competition I assume.

It took three long years of pain and anguish after he left me, to finally see the reality of his behavior . I have better boundaries now because of this relationship, which I suppose was the positive outcome learned.

There are those that cannot settle on one person then their are those that can.
Don’t trust until they earn that trust.
Choose wisely.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Another one:

Valentino once told gossip columnist Louella Parsons that: “The women I love don’t love me. The others don’t matter”. She claims that despite his success as a sex symbol that in his personal love life he never achieved happiness.[61]:90

Patty_Melt's avatar

No. By fooling someone, you have simply convinced them you are a type of person they would love. It is not you, but that fictional character they love.
By forcing yourself on someone, you are bullying into reluctant acceptance someone who will never anything but loathe you increasingly over time.

Jeruba's avatar

Yes, unfortunately, I’m sure it is. Or at least to “love” you, meaning by the quotes that it’s not the real thing. But how real is the real thing anyway?

As for what can be hoped, I guess you’d have to be able to say whether it’s ever actually a bad thing to love someone. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe what makes it bad is what you do because of it, or let them do to you.

Response moderated (Spam)
Dutchess_III's avatar


Caravanfan's avatar

Sure. Just look at the Cult of Trump.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther