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Plentylove09's avatar

What is the psychological meaning behind this issue?

Asked by Plentylove09 (113points) June 7th, 2020 from iPhone

Hi Fluther, I have a situation with my actual boyfriend, he has developed the tendency to comment on how beautiful/ gorgeous a celebrity, actress or woman in TV look, this is all the time, before he did not do this, maybe from once in a while, but now is every single time.

I don’t want to brag about myself or my looks, but I have a very curvy, fit body, and many say I am very beautiful.Once again I don’t want to brag, this is so you understand this whole dilemma.

I suspect that since he knows that I look good, and that I have a great body (he has complemented me before, and he still does from time to time, but now he just talks about how beautiful actresses or TV personalities are, and how amazing their bodies look.

He is older than I by some years, I am younger, so I wonder if he does this to make me feel some kind of way, since he knows that I look good, and that I work out hard?

He has also seen me look in the mirror and admire myself, perhaps this bothers him, because he knows that I am a secure girl.

So I wonder if it all has to do with me showing that I am secure and that I love my attributes and that I do a lot of exercise?

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10 Answers

jca2's avatar

@Plentylove09: It seems as if your boyfriend did something similar that was annoying to you in the past:

Plentylove09's avatar

@jca, Very similar but not exactly that. Is more what I describe in this post!.

LostInParadise's avatar

There is no point in trying to do armchair psychoanalysis. If you find what he does to be annoying, which is quite understandable, tell him. Don’t get emotional about it. Just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when he acts that way. I hope that your relationship is based on more than physical attraction.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’d ask him. His answer might surprise you.

kritiper's avatar

Every time he says it, say, “Do you think Taylor Swift is pretty?”

Inspired_2write's avatar

I think that he is trying to make you feel insecure and it worked!
Tell him to stop comparing you to other women or you will compare him?
Its a controlling tactic…not a good sign in a relationship.

Listen to this video of which may help you understand on what to say to him.

si3tech's avatar

@Plentylove09 Is this the same guy as @jca2 mentions?

Plentylove09's avatar

@si3tech Yeah, even when I dress pretty, look amazing, take amazing pictures, he still acts like its not a big deal, like I can tell he hates when I look or dress good, and mostly when I feel good about myself.

jca2's avatar

Maybe he feels you are insecure and always looking for compliments? You say you are looking in the mirror often and admiring yourself. Maybe he is busting your chops by trying to bring you down a notch.

Maybe he’s not the guy for you? Try having a conversation with him about the issue and see what he says.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, just start commenting the same kind of comments about male movie stars.

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