Social Question

steelers13's avatar

How do I stop wanting a girlfriend and enjoy being alone?

Asked by steelers13 (193points) December 26th, 2020

I’m 23 years old never had a girlfriend and I’m so tired of the constant rejection I’ve got over the years. At this point, I don’t think I’m ever going to find that special person. So I want to start enjoying being all by myself, and not want someone with me anymore.

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11 Answers

Kropotkin's avatar

Make lots of money.

snowberry's avatar

It’s impossible for any of us to know how these ladies experience you. But here are some things to think about, and they apply to guys or gals, “just friends”, or romantic relationships.

Nobody wants a “needy” or “clingy” friend! If you’re so lonely shows in your body language, facial expression or conversation, it will be a deal breaker.

It helps to have a sense of excitement or enthusiasm about something in your life.

Do you have a good sense of humor?

Do you participate in things that would create opportunities for a social life (church, sports, clubs, classes, etc.)?

Even if you’re lonely make a point to stay busy!

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Maybe you’re lucky. Back in the day I recall a number of times I wished I could be alone. Couldn’t even get boozed up or high in my own damn apartment without a girl friend dogging me about my bad habits. I mean I like women but give me break. Just have you a few brews and enjoy your solitude while it lasts.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Be grateful that you didn’t get anyone pregnant. Find some new goals and let the women chase you.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Maybe you’re trying too hard. I used to have better luck when I was just minding my own and not giving a rats butt. I met one girlfriend completely accidentally. I was at a club drinking a beer and listening to the band, and she walked over, threatened to pour my beer on me, and called me an arrogant SOB because I hadn’t asked her to dance. I hadn’t noticed her even. Wasn’t being rude, I was just chilling. Ended up at her hotel room and had sex, and we got really close over the next few years. So you never know. That’s what can happen when a woman threatens to pour your beer on your head. LOL

Inspired_2write's avatar

Be happy with your life interests and career direction and others will flock over to you.
” A contended cow in the filed munching on grass has frequently has a filed of Bulls watching her every move, in anticipation>”
Be contented and realize your own worth rather than trying to get validation from others.
Your a very young so typical to look elsewhere for validation as that is the norm for that age group.
Be ahead of the game by realizing that you are a valuable person worth knowing .
Go you own way.

kritiper's avatar

It may take time for you to accept that you will be much happier in the long run without a girlfriend. The frustration you must feel to even ask this question must mean that you are on your way. I didn’t accept being alone until I was 45.
Get it through your head now that having a girlfriend may never happen.

KNOWITALL's avatar

While I understand (late bloomer here), I agree you should stop looking. Focus on becoming the best you you can be. Address any past trauma or issues, get ready to become a good life partner.

JLoon's avatar

Looks like you’re getting the right advice – Basically stop stressing over it. Rejection happens to all of us (raising my hand). But insecurity and desperation are poison when it comes to relationships.

Instead of believing you need to find a girlfriend, turn off your search & capture mode and just focus on having fun with whoever you’re around. You’ll feel better, and your luck could actually improve.

steelers13's avatar

The OP here. Thanks for the responses, they are very helpful! I see some of the post saying that not looking will help me find a girlfriend but its not why I’m asking the question. Im kinda just don’t want to entertain the idea of it anymore, obviously it hasn’t been enjoyable for me, so I want to just learn to just enjoy myself now. If trying to find one is frustrating to me, I can only imagine how much more frustrating trying to keep one is going to be for me. And I feel like that’s just not good for me. I used to really enjoy my lonesome before I went to college, and I don’t what happened to me once I started college, and i don’t know how to get back to that feeling that. Im happy I got out of my shyness and learn to open up but sometimes I really wished I just stayed how I was, because I kinda felt happier then. So I think I would be better off enjoying the world and my life with myself and my small circle of family and friends. Maybe someday I might think differently a get a girlfriend but I just think that being alone would be my life so might as well start enjoying it, which I’ve started trying to do since Christmas.

steelers13's avatar

Posting an update honestly just for myself on how I’ve been doing, if anyone has any advice to give I’m open to it.

So far in February I have actually enjoyed myself. I’ve bought myself new things, things that I’ve been wanting for a while. I’ve even took myself out a couple of times to get food that I really want. I go on nice long drives just listening to music whenever I’m free from school and work. And I’ve noticed new things that I like. I’m trying to not get involved with other people. No more chasing people or relationships. Although there has been a couple of times, when I was on a drive or out eating, where I wished someone was there to enjoy it with me. But other than that, that’s what I’ve been up to. I’ve been trying to practice self love but I don’t even really know if I’m doing it right. Or really how to do it at that. Maybe I’ll post another update in a couple months.

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