Social Question

Jake_the_pup's avatar

Was helpful towards the wrong people, what should I do?

Asked by Jake_the_pup (38points) 1 month ago

During my academics life, I was really good at my work, I reached the top of my class and I was admired by all my teachers in the school. Then there were classmates in my batch, that really required my help in completing work that they find challenging.
So as a good friend, I went to my fullest in teaching my friends everything I know.

What happened next was totally unexpected. Some of the friends that I have given a helping hand, were actually opportunistic and never really cared about what I really want for them as a freind.

I don’t seem to recognize them at all, they are not the people that I have known before and I feel really exploited to think that they were trying to get their work done by taking me for granted.

Their motives are very opportunistic, and I need some advice on what I should d next, in order to avoid such people in the future.

This, however, had an impact on my academics as well, because as I had a personality that was very open-minded and friendly, now I feel very defensive and insecure about everyone I meet.

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3 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

You have answered your question. They are opportunists who care for no one but themselves. Your only option is to cut tight with them. You deserve better friends, if you are, as you said, open-minded and friendly.

janbb's avatar

Take it as a learning experience and hold back a bit in giving while you assess new friends to see if they are truly friends. Recalibrate your antennae and be patient with yourself; it may take time.

Zaku's avatar

Embrace that you’ve revealed that it would be personally productive for you to work on issues around trust.

Being unable to sense who is manipulative, and therefore trusting poorly, has offered you one perspective of experience
Being unable to sense who would be good to trust, and so trusting almost no one, and having few friends, offers another perspective of experience.

They’re both perspectives on different sides of the same issue, and a path for you to explore further what those issues are about for you.

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